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#1076140 - Yesterday at 10:25 PM Surf and Turf Saturday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 31107
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Don’t find fault. Find remedy. Anyone can complain.

HENRY FORD
```````````````````

“Does It Only Come In Black?”

My five-year-old son is crazy about cars, so I took him to his 
first car show. He loved seeing all 
the different models and brands 
and gushed over the big engines, 
the colors, and even the wheels. But the car he was most impressed with was a hearse. “Mom!” he shouted. “Look at all this storage!”

``````````````````````````````````

Tooth or Consequences

After cleaning my five-year-old patient’s teeth, I accompanied him to the reception area, only to see him struggle with the oak door.

“It’s heavy, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “Is that so children can’t escape?”

````````````````````````````

New Generation

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter said, “You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”

````````````````````````

The Cop and the Superhero

A concerned police officer approaches a boy who is crying in front of a newsstand. “What’s wrong?” the cop asks.

“Superman isn’t out yet!” says the boy.

“I’ll handle it,” the cop assures him. “Hey, Superman!” he shouts. “Come on out! We won’t hurt you!”

```````````````````````

Good Genes?

The topic for my third-grade class was genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think I passed on to my children?”
One student called out, “Wrinkles!”

```````````````````````````

In the Band

Sam’s eighth birthday, my brother took him to a football game. During halftime, a Marine band played, and Sam studied them intently.

“Why the interest in the band?” his father asked.

“I’m checking to see if Ben and Matt from our synagogue are in it. They’re Marines.”

“But they’re in Afghanistan.”

“If I were in a marching band, I’d say I was in Afghanistan too.”

```````````````````````

Mature Fun

As I was treating my daughter and her family to the buffet at a casino, all the bells and whistles for a winning slot machine began to go off. My seven-year-old grandson was awed.

“Wow!” yelled Casey. “This is like Chuck E. Cheese for old people.”

````````````````````````

The Test

When my eight-year-old asked how I knew I was pregnant, I told her I had taken a pregnancy test. “Oh,” she said. “What questions were on the test?”

``````````````````````````````

Sign of the Times

At a baby shower, everyone was asked to complete nursery rhymes. My 11-year-old daughter Taylor contributed this: "Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no carbs."

````````````````````````````

It's About Time

A few weeks? after the death of my father-in-law, I found my seven-year-old son crying in bed. His grandmother had died the previous year, and he was taking it all very hard. "You know, Kyle," I said, "when we die, we’ll get to see Grandma and Grandpa again in heaven."

With tears spilling down his face, Kyle cried, "That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have that long!"

````````````````````````

War Veteran

When I took my school-age daughters to a lunch with veterans, I told them to ask questions. One of the men said he’d fought in the Korean War, and the girls were so impressed that the eldest wanted to know more: "Did you fight for the North or the South?"

```````````````````````````

What's My Name?

My five-year-old nephew has always happily answered to BJ. That ended when he came home from his first day of school in a foul mood. It seems his teacher took roll, and he never heard his name.

"Why didn’t anyone tell me my name was William!?" he complained.

``````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Welcome to the weekend! It's party time. yay


I hear Midgie has a hot tub, and I need to soak. shocked


My arm is still sore from the Tetanus shot I got Wednesday at the VA. razz


Or was that a distemper shot? taz


A back yard party with grilled hamburgers sounds awesome. woot


Anything I can eat sounds awesome right now. For the first time in my life I'm counting calories. blech


My body mass index is a little bit high on the 'mass' part. blush


Make my bacon cheeseburger a lite. haha


Anybody got a calculator?


joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (Yesterday at 10:34 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#1076144 - Yesterday at 10:47 PM Re: Surf and Turf Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 70386
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, you are so thin I can't imagine you are counting calories! What's on the agenda for the weekend?

Have a happy day all! Supposed to be another rainy day so not sure what the day will bring.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1076146 - Yesterday at 10:55 PM Re: Surf and Turf Saturday [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 31107
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
Ana I was at 194.7lbs. The last time I was there I was 188lbs. Six months before that I was 177lbs. At that rate, 'thin man' is not what they'll be calling me in another year's time. blush

Since I retired, eating has become one of my primary activities. razz

joe



Edited by gymcandy1 (Yesterday at 10:57 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#1076153 - Yesterday at 11:44 PM Re: Surf and Turf Saturday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 70386
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe, eating is fun though, isn't it? I'm sure your pups will be happy to help you burn off the calories by going for more walks. puppy
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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