AL LUBEL
Hard work pays off in the end, but laziness pays off now.
```````````````````
Brand New Technology
To commemorate his first visit to our library, I gave a six-year-old boy a bookmark. More familiar with electronic gadgets than old-school tools, he had no clue how it worked. So I demonstrated by placing it between two pages, then closing the book. "When you start reading again, voilà!" I said, opening the book to my bookmarked page.
"Wow!" he said. "That’s cool!"
`````````````````````````````
What Boys Want
"Boys just like one thing," my ten-year-old told a friend. Oh, no, the end of her innocence, I thought. Then she announced her finding: "PlayStations."
``````````````````````````
Changing Voice
My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up. Tyler was exuberant at the prospect. "Cool!" he said. "I hope I get a German accent."
`````````````````````````
Crisp Cookies
While I was making a huge batch of snickerdoodle cookies, I asked my ten-year-old to read the recipe and ingredients off the box to me, doubling them as he went along. He did as he was told. His first instruction: "Preheat the oven to 700 degrees."
````````````````````
Eat Well
Forget about Halloween. If you’re really eager to frighten the kids, just read them these headlines. "TV ads boost eating of obese children"
``````````````````````
On Paper
When he received a journal as a gift, my eight-year-old son was mystified. "Mom, what am I supposed to do with this? The pages are blank."
"You write down interesting stuff that happens to you," I said.
"So it’s like a blog … on paper."
````````````````````````
Retired
When my ex-Marine father-in-law was at my house, our six-year-old neighbor came by to play with my kids.
I asked her if she knew who he was. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and said, "I don’t remember what his name is, but I know he used to be a submarine."
``````````````````````
Like New
I love making clothes for my five-year-old granddaughter. And she, in turn, always seems happy to accept them. The other day, I asked if she would like me to make her a skirt.
"Yes," she said. "But this time, could you make it look like it came from a store?"
````````````````````````
Innocent Question
Up on the screen at our local multiplex, the star whispered to his female costar, "I want you to be my mistress."
"What’s a mistress?" my eight-year-old granddaughter yelled out.
Then the man gave the woman a passionate kiss.
"Never mind," my granddaughter said.
````````````````````````
Concerned Owner
The 6 a.m. regulars at the dog run are, not surprisingly, a pet-oriented group. Recently John started discussing his trip. "The flight was awful! We were delayed for a few hours, and when we finally boarded, the baby behind me didn’t stop crying for the whole flight."
Another dog run regular turned to him in surprise: "What did the owner do?"
``````````````````````````
Like a Rolling Stone
At my ten-year-old’s request, I loaded my Rolling Stones tunes onto his iPod.
"I had no idea you liked the Stones," I said.
"Sure. I like all that old-fashioned music," he said.
"What do you mean, ‘old-fashioned music’?"
"You know," he said defensively. "Music from the 1900s."
```````````````````````
Army Girl
"Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army."
"Baby," I answered, "I think the Air Force would be a better option for you."
"But I don’t want to be a pilot."
"You don’t have to be a pilot," I told her. "There are other jobs in the Air Force."
Her answer: "I don’t want to be a flight attendant either."
``````````````````````````
Learning to Drive
Every morning, I do a mad dash to drop off my son Tyler at day care so I can get to work on time. My impatience hit home one morning when he piped up from the back of the car, "Our car is really fast and everyone else’s is slow because they’re all idiots, right, Mom?"
```````````````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to a new day, a nuther Tuesday.
I'm very glad I got my air conditioner fixed. Our Tuesday 'down here' is going to be 101. Ugh!
I suppose that's what God made indoors for......and air conditioning of course.
I'm getting bored though. I'm going to have to find me a special purpose.
Maybe since I spend so much time on my back, I'll get some paint, and repaint the ceiling.
Then it'll be gleaming white as lie there and stare at it.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
looney 
