Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
CHARLES R. SWINDOLL
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When our students began raising donations for Child Abuse Prevention Week, the school administration did its part by setting up a collection box outside the principal’s office and displaying a banner by the front door of the lobby. It read "Please give $1 to help stop child abuse in the front office."
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An amateur pilot wannabe, I knew I’d finally made progress with my flight training the day my instructor turned to me and said, “You know, you’re not as much fun since you stopped screaming.”
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English is tough to learn, as these attempts from classes in English as a second language prove:
"Do you like this food? I made it from scratching."
"I never liked mushrooms, but now they are beginning to grow in me."
"Do you like your coffee cremated?"
"I usually worm up my food before I eat it."
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In lectures on human genetics, I explained to my college students that males determine the sex of the offspring by contributing either an X or a Y chromosome. So at the end of the year, I put it on the final exam: "How is the sex of the child determined?"
One student wrote, "By examining it at birth."
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A middle school in New Ipswich, New Hampshire, encourages freethinking. A sign outside the school reads, “You are unique—just like everyone else.”
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During my first meeting with my physically challenged students, I assured them that most people are handicapped in some way.
"Look at me," I said. "My eyes are so bad, I need to wear glasses. Because I can barely hear, I need a hearing aid. And look at my ears—they’re much bigger than they should be."
From the back, a boy added, "And your nose too."
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Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree but also admitted it. Now, Joey, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
Joey: Because George still had the ax in his hand?
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When our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my fellow teacher asked a student, "Why do you think Ms. Richardson is leaving?"
The third grader opined, "Because she’s read all our books?"
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One of our projects at military leadership school called for us to speak in front of the class on a topic picked by our instructor. A classmate gave an impassioned speech on the benefits of drinking liquor. Alcohol, he insisted, warded off colds, kept you alert, and even made you steadier on your feet.
"Good job," said our instructor when he finished. "Only one thing: Your topic was the benefits of drinking liquids, not liquor."
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I’d contacted a butcher to get sheep brains for a lecture in my neuroanatomy class and said I’d be by to pick them up. But when I arrived at his shop, it was closed. Taped to the door was this note: "Teacher, your brains are next door at the barbershop."
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"Guess what?" yelled my high schooler as he burst through the door. "I got a 100 on the Spanish quiz that I didn’t even know we were having."
"That’s great!" I said. "But why didn’t you know about the quiz?"
"Because our teacher told us about it in Spanish."
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Good morning everyboomie.
Sunday's here..........and so am I........like a lucky penny, I keep turning up.
Strangely though, I never really cared for turnips.
I do like Sunday's though. Somehow they always remind me of a cherished day off between work weeks.
Work weeks I don't care for so much. Makes me tired just thinking about them.
Don't care much for thinking either. Just thinking too hard puts me to sleep.
I like sleeping. Sleeping is good.
I think I shall do some of that now.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Hope he sleeps for you on the way there. 
