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Tuesday's #1079194
08/22/16 10:26 PM
08/22/16 10:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.

GEORGE BURNS

``````````````````````````

Security to Aisle Three…

From an ad for an acting job: “When we finish the commercial, 
it will be shown on screens in over 200 supermarkets. It’s a great opportunity for you to expose yourself in front of everyone!”

````````````````

Things Could Get Graphic

If you’re a freelance graphic designer, the only thing worse than no clients might be these clients:

“You think it’s right to charge us for things just because we don’t have the ability to do them ourselves?”

“Make everything bold so it all stands out.”

“OK, the project has been approved, unless our client wants changes. In that case, it’s not approved.”

````````````````````

Teach A Man to Kvetch…

Comedian Daniel Tosh is no fan 
of the expression “The worst day 
of fishing is better than the 
best day at work.”

“I’ve watched The Deadliest 
Catch on Discovery,” 
he said. “I’ve never once 
been at work, capsized in 
40-degree water, watched all my coworkers die, and been like, ‘Hey, at least we’re fishin’.’”

``````````````````````

What’s the 311?

In New York City, if you have a complaint or a question, dial the city’s 
311 hotline and you might get it solved. We doubt these callers did.

“Who won American Idol?”

“Can you check to see if my boyfriend is married?”

“Can I claim my dog on my income tax?”

`````````````````````

Thanks, I Think


I recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favorites. You were mean to everyone.”

``````````````````

Prove It!

Scene: Me at our auto dealership, cold-calling customers.

Me: Hi, I’m calling on behalf of…

Customer: Is this a recording?

Me: No, I am not a recording, sir. May I please speak to…

Customer: I don’t believe you!

````````````

Going in for a job interview? Don’t mess it up with questions like these from real candidates:

“Can my husband finish the test for me?”

“Would you consider going on a date with me?”

“Can I place my desk near the cafeteria?”

“Do I have to be at work every day?”

````````````````````

Mike went into work an hour late, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent.

“What happened to you?” his boss asked.

“I fell down two flights of stairs.” Mike said.

His boss was aghast. “That took you a whole hour?”

`````````````````

I could barely understand my client due to a lousy phone connection.

“Sorry,” he said. “I have the AT&T every-other-word plan.”

````````````````

When I interviewed for a job six months after my 70th birthday, 
I was asked my age. With nothing to hide, I replied, “I’m halfway to my 71st birthday.”

The interviewer looked skeptical. “No offense,” he said, “but you look older than 35.”

```````````````````

Here are actual comments bosses made to employees during their 
salary reviews:

“I’ve got great news. You managed to avoid a salary decrease.”

“No, we don’t promote family members first. It’s just coincidence.”

“Before you came to my department, you were such a shining star—full of new ideas and enthusiasm. What happened to you?”

“This is a salary review. Let’s not focus on the money.”

`````````````````

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.

“Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night,” he says.

“Have you tried counting sheep?” asks the doctor.

“That’s the problem. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

```````````````````

Reddit.com asked workers: What is rule number one in your profession? Here’s what came back:

Plumber: “Don’t chew your fingernails.”
Roofer: “You are fired before you hit the ground.”
Camp counselor: “Don’t lose the kid.”
Scuba diver: “If it moves, it wants to kill you.”
Photographer: “Take the lens cap off.”

``````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


WHEW! Monday's over and the pressure's off. The rest of the week is all weekend. snicker


All in all Monday wasn't really bad. I took the dogs to the park. It was very overcast and foggy, and cool too. The pups had a good walk. Then back home doing a little laundry, and then a lot of gaming. I'm playing LOTR Battle for Middle Earth. Frodo's still at it. bravo


We also got a couple of heavy rains. They didn't last very long, but it was much needed rain anyway. yay


The next two days are supposed to be in the mid 90s........yahoo. rolleyes


I was afraid to look any further ahead than that. blush


Well I have a new past time to fill the hours with. I went down here to the senior center and joined the knitting club. hamster


I'm working on a sweater for the cold weather that's coming. penguin


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079196
08/22/16 10:44 PM
08/22/16 10:44 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great day Joe and all who follow. wave

It's Monday night for me, and I have work in the morning again. Then, I'm meeting my friend afterward. thumbsup

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079198
08/22/16 10:59 PM
08/22/16 10:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
So...are you really going to knit, Joe? Sometimes, I'm just not sure. lol

Hope work goes well and enjoy your visit, venus!

Have a great day everyone. I'll be working in the corner again.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079207
08/23/16 04:57 AM
08/23/16 04:57 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, venus, Ana and all.Coffee and tea are brewing. We had a beautiful cool sunny day yesterday! Got to leave the windows open all day! Nice! Enjoy your day everyone! fall


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079212
08/23/16 06:00 AM
08/23/16 06:00 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning Joe, venus, Anakissy, Gerry, and all who follow. I hope you all have a great day today. I have another split shift today. Tomorrow is my day off. Can't wait.

Midgie hearts wavegirl


Just do it.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079217
08/23/16 06:43 AM
08/23/16 06:43 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Tuesday. Dinner and karaoke at Panda tonight. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Waffles in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079222
08/23/16 07:24 AM
08/23/16 07:24 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers fall

Joe, enjoy whatever you decide to do today.

Ana, have a great day! Easy work wishes.

Midgie, hope work is easy for you today.

Venus, happy workday!

Gerry, enjoy the cool weather. I was surprised it was only 50 degrees here when I got up this morning.

Connie, have fun at the Panda.

Nice cool weather here today. Walking the dog and then taking the girls school shopping. lab


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079242
08/23/16 10:47 AM
08/23/16 10:47 AM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
joe - hope you enjoy the knitting lol maybe you could play cards or pool if you run of yarn !

and a hearty good morning to everyone else - sounds like it's gonna be a good day ! happydance

not much happening here except housework ,but that's good - we've got some cooler air the next couple of days promised so imma take advantage !

later ! wave

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079258
08/23/16 11:33 AM
08/23/16 11:33 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
When my Dad joined the Navy (well joined as in drafted) they actually had knitting class for all the guys, along with sewing (for badges and darning socks, etc.) He enjoyed it all and ended up being very good at sewing and mending and actually made a huge, one of a kind, car top tent for our traveling as kids. It's even in a travel magazine from the 50's. Awesome thing. If I can find the picture and upload it, I'll let everyone see.

Keep up with that knitting, Joe, we might see a whole clothing line with your name on it soon?


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079285
08/23/16 01:58 PM
08/23/16 01:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Hot out there, but that's ok, it's cool in here. Hot weather makes for good bread baking which I will be doing in just a few minutes. Bake or clean...bake or clean. Guess which one is more fun?

Sorta, I was laughing at someone on son's FB who said they didn't know how to sew on a button. Really!

Joe, didn't Rosey Grier do needlework? Knitting is fun as long as you don't have arthritis in your hands. thumbsup


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1079305
08/23/16 03:46 PM
08/23/16 03:46 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hi looney. I vote for baking. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079318
08/23/16 05:38 PM
08/23/16 05:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thanks, Space, I did too. Bread dough rising, and filling for little piroshkis made and cooled. Will be shaping, filling, and rising again in a few minutes.

How was work?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1079332
08/23/16 07:48 PM
08/23/16 07:48 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Work was good today looney. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079362
08/23/16 10:54 PM
08/23/16 10:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Up late and off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1079373
08/24/16 02:24 AM
08/24/16 02:24 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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