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Happy Hump Day #1079340
08/23/16 09:04 PM
08/23/16 09:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

````````````````````

Happy Birthday, Valued Employee!

My boss gave me a generic birthday card. It read “Happy Birthday, Greg!” with the word Greg crossed out and my name penned in above it. Greg was fired last month.

```````````````````

Think Globally, Work Scarcely

From the news: “Bob” was considered a star at the computer company where he worked. He made a six-figure salary and routinely received excellent performance reviews.

And now we know why: Without his boss’s knowledge, “Bob” had outsourced his entire job to a company in China—for a fifth of his salary. He then spent his days at his desk playing games, shopping on eBay, and watching cat videos.
—Source: nydailynews.com

```````````````````

Suit: Do you have what I call a Sharpie?
Secretary: … What you call a Sharpie?
Suit: Yes.
Secretary: … You and no one else?
Suit: It’s like a felt-tipped pen.
Secretary: Oh, I know what it is.
Suit: Well, do you have one?
Secretary: Yes, I do. I keep it here in what I call a drawer.

``````````````````````

Can I Speak To Dad?

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, Mom.

—From fmylife.com

`````````````````````

We asked prospective job applicants at our business to fill out a questionnaire. For the line “Choose one word to summarize your strongest professional attribute,” one woman wrote, “I’m very good at following instructions.”

`````````````````````

Is the Client Always Right?

A graphic designer on the phone with his client.

Designer: Hi. I’m just updating the copy for your form and was wondering if you meant to say “programs” for the third question.

Client: No! What I sent along was completely accurate. Just copy it over exactly as it says. I’ll explain it nice and slowly for you.

Designer: “Please indicate which pogroms you’ve attended”?

Client: Yeah, that should be programs.

```````````````````

My brother delivered prescriptions to people too ill to go out. Since the neighborhoods he visited were often unsafe, he decided to get some protection.

"Why do you need a pistol?" asked the clerk at the gun shop.

My brother had to explain, "I deliver drugs at night and carry a lot of money."

``````````````````````

How to Ruin an Interview

When you’re interviewing for a job, you want to make an impression.

Hiring managers report that these people made one—just not the right kind:

Applicant hugged hiring manager at the end of the interview.

Applicant ate all the candy from the candy bowl while trying to answer questions.

Applicant blew her nose and lined up the used tissues on the table in front of her. Applicant wore a hat that said "Take this job and shove it."

Applicant talked about how an affair cost him a previous job.

Applicant threw his beer can in the outside trash can before coming into the reception area.

Applicant’s friend came in and asked, "How much longer?"

```````````````

Sensitive Employee

Strengths and Weaknesses
A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"

"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality—telling what’s real from what’s not."

"Okay," said the interviewer. "And what are your strengths?"

"I’m Batman."

```````````````````````

To the batroom Robin

A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"

"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality—telling what’s real from what’s not."

"Okay," said the interviewer. "And what are your strengths?"

"I’m Batman."

`````````````````````

Weirdest Interview Questions

Job hunting is stressful enough without having to answer these interview questions posed by hiring managers:

"Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten how weird you are."

"How many basketballs can you fit in this room?"

"An apple costs 20 cents, an orange costs 40 cents, and a grapefruit costs 60 cents. How much is a pear?"

"How many bottles of beer are consumed in the city each week?"

````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Happy Hump Day to you! hamster


No, I'm not really knitting Ana. wink


I was just spinning a yarn. cool


I was only pulling the wool over your eyes. grin


I was setting up those two jokes. haha


My new treadmill is broke. After walking on it today for 6 hours, I looked at the digital display and it only read 20 minutes. lol


So, I took a hammer and broke it. rotfl


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 08/23/16 09:28 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079345
08/23/16 09:26 PM
08/23/16 09:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Wednesday Boomers. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079347
08/23/16 09:29 PM
08/23/16 09:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! I'm just never sure with you! hearts Have a wonderful day my friend!

SpaceQ, you snuck in while I was typing slowly. It's Hump Day! The weekend is coming!

I have to be up at 4:30 to take my sister for a procedure. shocked It's going to be a long day. lol

Have a great day everyone!

Ana wave

Last edited by BrownEyedTigre; 08/23/16 09:31 PM.

Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079375
08/24/16 02:28 AM
08/24/16 02:28 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific day Joe, Space Quest, Ana and all who follow. wave

It's really late Tuesday night here. crazy Luckily, I don't have to work tomorrow, but I do have a voice lesson. So I need to get at least some rest for that, which means I'm off to sleep. yes

Hope everyone has a fantastic Wednesday. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079380
08/24/16 04:56 AM
08/24/16 04:56 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Space, Ana, venus and all. Joe you do may me laugh! Ana Will be thinking of you and your sister. Hope all goes well. Venus maybe some to play with kitties time today too? Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a great day! fall wave


Gerry
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079385
08/24/16 05:52 AM
08/24/16 05:52 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Wishing everyone a super duper day! wavegirl


Gail
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079386
08/24/16 05:52 AM
08/24/16 05:52 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
venus, enjoy your day off!

Gerry, thanks! She could use some positive thoughts these days! hearts

Nothing says a good day like three hours sleep. lol

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079396
08/24/16 07:19 AM
08/24/16 07:19 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Hump Day. Ana, positive vibes for your sis's procedure. Danish, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: connie] #1079407
08/24/16 09:12 AM
08/24/16 09:12 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

I am majorly tired this morning. I feel like I didn't sleep at all last night. tired

It's warming up fast outside. I guess I'd better hurry up and take to doggies for a walk. lab

Actually it's more like they take me for a walk. razz

I know I can't wait..........to get back home. lol

Enjoy your day everyone. thumbsup

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079414
08/24/16 10:41 AM
08/24/16 10:41 AM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
joe , you crack me up ! are there pictures of your dogs somewhere ?

thanks gerri and connie for breakfast !

ana , best of luck for your sis !

morning gail and spacequest !

venus , have fun with the voice lesson ! do you sing with a choir or group ?

hope everyone else coming in enjoys their day to the fullest ! woot !

off now to see what i can get done for today - see you all later ! wave

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079437
08/24/16 02:40 PM
08/24/16 02:40 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the laughs!!!

Space half way there!!!!

Ana sending HUGS and Prayers!!!

Gerry thanks for the tea!!

venus have a great lesson!!!

Connie thanks for the Danish!!

Gail, you have a super duper day also!!

niteowl hope you can get lots done!!!

Have a lovely day everybody!!!!

wave
Nan

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: auntiegram] #1079450
08/24/16 04:12 PM
08/24/16 04:12 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079463
08/24/16 05:20 PM
08/24/16 05:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon SpaceQ and all wave

I'm so sleepy but I have a long evening of work ahead. I was gone much longer than I anticipated. Thanks for the good wishes for my sis! hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1079464
08/24/16 05:26 PM
08/24/16 05:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
I hope your sis heals up fast Ana. hearts


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079470
08/24/16 06:37 PM
08/24/16 06:37 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
hiya , space quest !

hope you can take a power nap , ana !

pretty good day today for me - got a few things done, and didn't have to save any

neighbors from snakes, and melodee stopped coughing up hairballs , so life is good lol

hope you all found something nice today too ! wave

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079473
08/24/16 07:05 PM
08/24/16 07:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ooops, thought I'd posted this morning, but guess I got distracted by the soup I was making. Still fighting this "ick." Hopefully, the soup will help.

Ana, hope your sis recovers quickly and you get some rest. wave

Off to finish dinner wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1079483
08/24/16 08:56 PM
08/24/16 08:56 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079485
08/24/16 08:59 PM
08/24/16 08:59 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Night Space. Sweet dreams sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1079496
08/24/16 09:29 PM
08/24/16 09:29 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thanks looney


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1079524
08/25/16 12:53 AM
08/25/16 12:53 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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