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Sip and Surf Sunday #1079966
08/27/16 09:39 PM
08/27/16 09:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

JENNY BICKS

`````````````````

Job Hunting

I just saw an ad for a position I feel completely qualified for: "Wanted: bartenders. No exp. necessary. Must have: legal ID, phone, transportation, and teeth."

````````````````

Odd Job

Our daughter took the afternoon off from her job at the funeral home to visit her daughter in preschool. When one of the kids asked what she did for a living, my granddaughter answered for her: "She sells underground furniture."

````````````````````

Greener Pastures

Before leaving my assistant job for greener pastures, I was asked to reply to applicants hoping to replace me. "Very smart and intelligent," my boss had written on one of the applications. "Too good for this job."

``````````````````

So When Do I Start?

How do you get human resources to remember you? Try pulling some of these actual interview stunts.

Balding applicant abruptly excused himself and returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.

Applicant asked to see the reviewer’s résumé to see if the personnel executive was qualified to interview him.

Applicant phoned his therapist during the interview for advice on answering specific questions.

During the interview, an alarm clock went off in the applicant’s briefcase. He apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.

Applicant challenged the interviewer to arm-wrestle.

````````````````

Conference Call

During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Elated, I wrote down my phone number.

Looking startled for a moment, he drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left-hand corner.

````````````````

4 Creative Ways to Get Hired

How do you get hiring managers to hire you? Don’t pull these actual, creepily creative stunts:

Applicant put up posters of himself in the company parking lot.

Applicant announced his candidacy with a singing telegram.

Applicant rented a billboard, which the hiring manager could see from his office, listing his qualifications.

Applicant delivered prepaid Chinese food, including a fortune cookie with his name and phone number.

```````````````

The Dog Ate My Alarm Clock

According to careerbuilder.com, a full 15 percent of workers admit to getting to the office late at least once a week. And here are some of their excuses:

I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.

I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.

Someone stole all my daffodils.

I had to go audition for American Idol.

I was trying to get my gun back from the police.

````````````````

Help Wanting

Here’s a job to avoid: hiring manager. See what you’d have to contend with?

The candidate answered his cell phone and asked the interviewer to leave her own office because it was a "private" conversation.

The candidate told the interviewer he wouldn’t stay with the job long because he might get an inheritance if his uncle died—and the old man wasn’t "looking too good."

The candidate said she couldn’t provide a writing sample because all her writing had been for the CIA and it was "classified."

When the applicant was offered food, he declined, saying he didn’t want to line his stomach with grease before going out drinking.

The candidate flushed the toilet while talking to the interviewer during a phone interview.

````````````````

Evaluation

I input a junior manager’s self-evaluation, which said in part, "I have been on the job for three months, and I finally feel as if I’ve accomplished something." I made one mistake, however. I replaced the word job with John.

`````````````````

Resume Classics

What’s the finest example of fiction today? The résumé. Here are some classics sent to bemused hiring managers.

Candidate listed military service dating back to before he was born.
Candidate claimed to be a member of the Kennedy family.
Job seeker claimed to be the CEO of a company, when he was an hourly employee.
Job seeker included samples of work, which were actually those of the interviewer.

````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


I know this is true because I'm here, and you're here. woot


It's a beautiful Monday, and the start of a grand new week. bravo


I'm kidding. lol


I know it's Tuesday. wink


My plan for this day is to try and sleep in as late as possible, and not go out to the park. yes


I'm not holding my breath on that point though. smirk


My pooches are pretty good at laying the old guilt trip on me. puppy


Whatever you have going on today, have a happy one. wave


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 08/27/16 09:43 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1079967
08/27/16 09:50 PM
08/27/16 09:50 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
I just got home from a marvelous day and sis is staying another night. Storms are brewing and she is safer here.

Today is a work day. My last day and I can have the week off! WooHoo!

Have a happy day Joe and all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1079972
08/27/16 10:16 PM
08/27/16 10:16 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Sunday everyone. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1079988
08/27/16 11:46 PM
08/27/16 11:46 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope you're able to sleep in this time, Joe. smile However, if your dogs have their way, have fun at the park. grin

Glad your sister is staying safe in the storm, Ana. Hope work goes well today.

Have a great Sunday also, Space Quest.

It's Saturday night here. My voice lesson was cancelled today, but it's just as well, as I wasn't really feeling well today. Not sick really, but I think my sporadic sleep caught up with me, as I got a lot of inadvertent sleep this afternoon and later again in the evening. lol I'm off again Sunday, so I'll get some more rest, but I'll also sneak some practice and gaming in as well. grin

Hope everyone has a terrific Sunday. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: venus] #1079997
08/28/16 12:53 AM
08/28/16 12:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave2 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope you are able to get a good night's sleep and then able to enjoy a fabulous Sip and Surf Sunday!

Ana, happy to hear your sister is staying safe with you from the storms!

Howdy Space and venus!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still Saturday evening for me...

Been sooooooooo enjoying time with my new grandson! He is amazing! hearts

Nothing planned for Sunday. Hubby will play racquetball in the morning and then we'll see where the rest of the day takes us. smile

Have a great Sip and Surf Sunday!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080002
08/28/16 05:16 AM
08/28/16 05:16 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Space, venus Darlene and everyone. Joe hope you get to sleep in! Ana glad your sis is staying. Space enjoy your day. Venus sounds like you needed that extra rest! Darlene nice to see you. Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a peaceful stress free day! fall


Gerry
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080006
08/28/16 07:02 AM
08/28/16 07:02 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Sunday. Breakfast out and a Sam's trip today. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and Toast in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080007
08/28/16 07:41 AM
08/28/16 07:41 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Wishing everyone here and everyone on their way a wonderful Sunday! hamster


Gail
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: GBC] #1080016
08/28/16 09:08 AM
08/28/16 09:08 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning everyone. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: Space Quest Fan] #1080034
08/28/16 10:29 AM
08/28/16 10:29 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave2

It is sunny and very warm here already. I took the dogs to the park early when it was about 73 degrees. We're headed up to the low 90s today, and I think every day for the rest of the year. rolleyes

I slept last night, but I woke up many many times, especially after 4:00am. slapforehead

I got up at about 6:15. So much for sleeping in. razz

It wasn't the dogs. Actually I think they wanted to sleep in. lol

I hope everyone has a super day. joy


joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 08/28/16 10:29 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080035
08/28/16 10:32 AM
08/28/16 10:32 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe glad you slept a little better! Thanks for the laughs!

Ana glad you had a good time hiking and that your sis is safe from the storm there!

Space enjoy your Sunday!

venus sorry the lesson was canceled! Happy singing!!!

Darlene are you enjoying that new grandchild??

Gerry thanks for the tea!

Connie thanks for the Danish. Shoppity shop!!

Gail enjoy church and a lazy afternoon!

Have a lovely day everybody!!!

wave
Nan

Joe it was a nice 59F out there for my Sassy walk!!! Will warm to low 70's!!!

Last edited by auntiegram; 08/28/16 10:33 AM.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: auntiegram] #1080057
08/28/16 12:50 PM
08/28/16 12:50 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thanks Nan. Enjoy your day too. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080069
08/28/16 01:51 PM
08/28/16 01:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Sunday ya'll puppy

Laying low here....belting down tea like I'm trying to float the Titanic and relaxing. House is very quiet at the moment hamster


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: looney4labs] #1080074
08/28/16 02:18 PM
08/28/16 02:18 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
That sounds pretty good looney. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080089
08/28/16 04:33 PM
08/28/16 04:33 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Mini-Me, the feral female has definitely had her litter of kitties. She finally appeared at the feeding table yesterday evening after being missing for almost 2 days. She's really skittish (more than usual) and is running off to the driveway area and side yard where I think she has the litter under the deck or under some century plants. Also could be under the house, but so many possums and other critters have clear access there that I don't think she'd keep them there. Close to food is her thing. She came again for breakfast today and then for 'lunch'. Somehow all the Outdoorsies got trained to go to the food table if I went shopping mid-day. When I drive in, the head for the table. Guess it's my fault, but I gave them all some canned food and extra dry for the Mommy. She eats almost exclusively dry food. I'm hoping to have at least some survive this time, but it will be weeks before I will know. Gotta catch her. It's like playing Pokemon Go without benefit of GPS! joy


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: Sorta Blonde] #1080094
08/28/16 05:38 PM
08/28/16 05:38 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
luck Sorta blackkitty


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080096
08/28/16 06:25 PM
08/28/16 06:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hope you can catch her soon luck


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: looney4labs] #1080105
08/28/16 08:53 PM
08/28/16 08:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080107
08/28/16 09:36 PM
08/28/16 09:36 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1080108
08/28/16 10:10 PM
08/28/16 10:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sweet dreams, All sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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