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Tuesday's #1080287
08/29/16 10:41 PM
08/29/16 10:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
The conductor of an orchestra doesn’t make a sound. He depends, for his power, on his ability to make other people powerful.

BENJAMIN ZANDER

`````````````````

A Fax?

You’re sending me something via fax? What is it, an important document from 1993?

`````````````````

Unable to See

My husband works for a high-tech company that uses a sophisticated robotic mail-delivery system. The robot makes mail stops by following a clear painted line on the hallway floor. Recently the line had to be recharged by applying special paint. While it was drying, signs were posted warning, "Please don’t step on the invisible line."

``````````````````

Uninvited Announcement

Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements. Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into my office.

"Great news, Scott!" she announced. "We’re getting our regular room at the hotel!"

All eyes were on Gail and me as she suddenly realized she had interrupted a meeting with co-workers.

```````````````````

Rubbed the Wrong Way

I was halfway through a meeting with a photocopy salesman, when he suddenly mentioned his wife and children, and how contented he was. I was puzzled, but let him continue. It was only when I glanced down that I understood his reason for imparting this personal information: The table leg against which I had been rubbing my itchy foot wasn’t a table leg at all!

```````````````````

Problems on Both Ends

My nephew, a flight attendant, split the back of his pants one day during a flight. To save embarrassment, he decided to work in front of the beverage cart, facing forward.

The arrangement worked perfectly until he got to the last row and a passenger leaned over to him and said in a low voice, “Your fly is open.”

````````````````

Office Meeting

The company where I work provides four-foot-high cubicles so each employee can have some privacy. One day a co-worker had an exasperating phone conversation with one of her teenage sons. After hanging up, she heaved a sigh and said, "No one ever listens to me."

Immediately, several voices from surrounding cubicles called out, "Yes, we do."

```````````````````

Mouse Trap

My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he couldn’t see over the panels to find his way out, so he waited until he saw someone else leaving and followed him. He did the same the next day. On the third day he had to work late, long after his colleagues had left. He wandered around lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors, but then, just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle.

"How do you get out of here?" Jim asked.

The fellow looked up from his desk, smiled and said, "No cheese for you."

``````````````````````

Misunderstood

Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don’t know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader. Because of this, my fellow tellers and I often find ourselves having to explain how it’s done. One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she explained it. I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, “Strip down facing me.”

`````````````

Math Calculation

Another man and I share a locker at work. Noticing that it needed a new combination lock, my partner said he would pick one up on his way to work the next day. It occurred to me later that I might not see him in the morning. How would I find out the combination? I needn’t have worried.

When I arrived at work I found that he had used the locker before me and had left a note reading: “To find the first number subtract 142 from your high score the last time we went bowling. The second number is 16 less than that. To find the third number subtract 1.87 from the amount you owe me.”

``````````````

Locked Out

Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time. I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints, she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution.

"Is there another door I could use?"

````````````````

Lisp
The boss placed a sign directly over the sink in the men’s room at work. It had a single word on it: "Think!"

The next day when the boss went to the men’s room, he saw another sign had been placed immediately above the soap dispenser.

It read: "Thoap!"

`````````````````

Getting the Cold Shoulder
I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in the same neighborhood. On a Saturday night, I was finishing up the dinner shift at one restaurant and hurrying to report to work at the second place. But I was delayed because one table kept sending back an order of hash browns, insisting they were too cold. I replaced them several times, but still the customers were dissatisfied.

When I was able to leave, I raced out the door and arrived at my second job. A server immediately handed me my first order. "Make sure these hash browns are hot," she said, "because these people just left a restaurant down the street that kept serving them cold ones."

```````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


It is the day after yesterday, and at that, I don't have to know exactly what day it is now do I? hamster


Except.....I have some energy efficiency people coming to examine my house on Tuesday, whenever it comes around. woot


If they can tell me how to save money and keep it cooler in my house, I'll be a happy dude. bravo


If they can tell me how to keep it cool outside, I'll give them all of my money....................that I have in my pocket. rolleyes


I actually feel sleepy tonight. That's a good sign. joy2


'You are now leaving Oklahoma' is also a good sign. joy


Have a happy day everyone. fall


joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 08/29/16 10:41 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080294
08/29/16 11:07 PM
08/29/16 11:07 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! I hope you sleep well!

Have a great day everyone!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080302
08/30/16 05:31 AM
08/30/16 05:31 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, Ana, and all.It's going to be a nice day today - less humidity! Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a stress free day! fall


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080305
08/30/16 06:37 AM
08/30/16 06:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Lots of rain here from the depression, may never get the pool finished. Robert is going on a fishing trip for the 3 day weekend. Fridge will be delivered tomorrow. Dinner and karaoke at Panda tonight. Danish, BB Pancakes, and French Toast. fall


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080309
08/30/16 08:15 AM
08/30/16 08:15 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts



good Morning Boomers puppy

Joe, hope you get some good ideas to stay cooler. Thanks for the morning laughs.

Ana, enjoy the day!

Gerry, coffee please and thank you.

Connie, glad your ne fridge will be there soon. Have fun tonight.

Walking Nina this morning. Cousin coming to visit this afternoon. Wishing everyone a great day! joy2


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080323
08/30/16 09:54 AM
08/30/16 09:54 AM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
joe , i just loved the jokes and stuff today ! lol

thank you guys for coffee and french toast - yummeeee !

l4l - i don't know about the pig thing , but not much bothers a rattlesnake.

have a wonderful day everyone !

catch you later... wave

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080336
08/30/16 11:13 AM
08/30/16 11:13 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Today will be book cooking as they only got a little stirred yesterday.

Joe, if they can tell you how to cool down the outside, you can sell the info and get rich. Course, I can tell you that....
Click to reveal..
Wait a few months rotfl


Have a great day, Ana

Less humidity is a good thing, Gerry wave

Connie, sounds like you have a fun couple of days. Will it be raining where Robert is going fishing?

Gail, enjoy your cousin's visit.

Niteowl, got curious and googled. Wild hogs have really thick, hard skin so they often kill and eat rattlers. However, then you have to worry about the hogs eek

Off to feed dogs lab


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080340
08/30/16 11:31 AM
08/30/16 11:31 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Nothing like a brand new clean sparkly refrigerator to make your day. Hope it arrives soon Connie! OH and just a hint, if your old one is being 'recycled', you might want to consider keeping the shelves and door inserts, etc. On my last one, my tenant asked if he could have them and he used them to customize a broom closet into a lovely shelving unit for all his things. Awesome. The delivery guys let us take out anything we wanted saying, "We just send it to the dump anyway". It was an easy 5 minute job of just taking all the loose drawers and shelves out, then unscrewing the 'track' at the back of the fridge to reinstall all of it in the closet. Works great and looks so custom. I'm always impressed when I see it.

Cool and cloudy again, but seems we are in for another hot spell. Wind is blowing from the desert towards the ocean and that means Santa Ana winds will be kicking up. Hot wind from the desert. Also means mega fire danger. Crossing fingers that nothing starts. We have had several small canyon fires from transients cooking and getting warm. Luckily our fire department(s) jump right on them. So far no homes damaged, but sure a lot of scary moments.

Mini-Me the new feral momcat came for breakfast again. She's getting a bit braver but still hisses at me if I get too close to her and then runs off. She comes back later to eat when I'm not outside. Must have at least one little kit hidden somewhere. I'm hoping for the best and NOT looking for them. Last time, she kept moving them when I found them. I want her to feel safe.

NEIGHBOR is acting weird (again). Not my tenant neighbor, but the guy across the street. Don't know what's up over there, but it's always drama. He's out late at night (11pm and beyond) burning papers in his 'firepit' in the front yard. Very strange behavior. Maybe he doesn't have a shredder. Wouldn't be so strange except the Landlord/lady/son were over there this week finishing up painting of the eaves, etc. Every time they appear, HE disappears with his family. He accidently came home early and when he saw the Landlord(s) he drove right by and went away for a few more hours. Just guessing, but maybe he's received a rent increase or isn't paying on time, or something. AND the Landlords went into his enclosed 'patio' area where they are fixing and painting a privacy fence and the Landlady came out with several loads of bottles and other 'junk' and filled BOTH the trash cans (recycle and trash). We as Landlords never touch a tenant's stuff whether it's junk or not. Either she had permission or just decided to make the yard clean and neat and safe. A lot of broken bottles back there. Not good if you are walking around trying to paint.

So when he came home the next day, he dragged the recycle bin to the patio and started going through it and then burning stuff. Then he came home from work late and his wife met him at the curb (never has happened in 3 years) and he handed her a legal size white envelope which they went over and over for 10 minutes. Something interesting in there I guess. Not sure what. Fun to speculate after his 'suspension' for 6 or so weeks recently. Maybe some sort of final disposition or something. Could be he's being sued for whatever happened. I know one of the times he was suspended from work it was for a fight with a co-worker. I'm hoping for the best on this. Don't want any bad stuff happening to him despite his weird behavior. Can't imagine getting NEW neighbors over there when everything else is calming down and the family is very quiet. In any case, it's something to watch and keep me busy. duh Hopefully no more police over there dragging him off to jail like last time.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080357
08/30/16 01:19 PM
08/30/16 01:19 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe hope your sleeping all night is improving! Thanks for the laughs!

Ana have a fun day!

Gerry thanks for the tea!

Connie we had nasty storms here last evening! Have fun with the new fridge!!

Gail enjoy your walk and your visit with your cousin!!

niteowl hope you have some fun things to do today!!

L4l happy book cooking!!!!

Sorta hope all works out well in the neighborhood!!!

Have a lovely day everybody!!!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: auntiegram] #1080373
08/30/16 04:47 PM
08/30/16 04:47 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Another hot one here today. crazy


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080377
08/30/16 05:10 PM
08/30/16 05:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Cooking cooking cooking hamster

Welcome home, Space wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1080382
08/30/16 05:34 PM
08/30/16 05:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thanks looney


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1080391
08/30/16 08:38 PM
08/30/16 08:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Time for bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1080392
08/30/16 08:51 PM
08/30/16 08:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night looney. wave2


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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