Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
THEODOR SEUSS GEISEL (DR. SEUSS)
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After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Enclosed is a check for $150. If
I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”
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Pulling into my service station 45 minutes late one morning, I shouted to the customers, "I’ll turn the pumps on right away!" What I didn’t know was that the night crew had left them on all night. By the time I got to the office, most of the cars had filled up and driven off. Only one customer stayed to pay. My heart sank. Then the customer pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and handed it to me.
"We kept passing the money to the last guy," he said. "We figured you’d get here sooner or later."
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I requested identification from a department-store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase. After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.
It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.
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My husband, an attorney, is frequently consulted by clients who, after learning what the cost of legal services will be, decide to do without his aid. Recently the elderly minister of a small, struggling church came in with a legal problem.
After patiently listening to an explanation of my husband’s fees, he left the office with a prudent: "Thank you, sir, but I believe I’ll just pray this one through."
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On a billboard ad for a safe company:
"If your stuff is stolen, it’s not our vault."
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Freelance newspaper writers don’t get nearly as much attention as writers with regular bylines. So I was delighted when I finally got some notice. It was at the bank, and I was depositing a stack of checks.
"Wow," said the teller, reading off the names of publishers from the tops of the checks. "You must deliver a lot of papers."
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Lying on his deathbed, the rich, miserly old man calls to his long-suffering wife. "I want to take all my money with me," he tells her. "So promise me you’ll put it in the casket."
After the man dies, his widow attends the memorial service with her best friend. Just before the undertaker closes the coffin, she places a small metal box inside.
Her friend looks at her in horror. "Surely," she says, "you didn’t put the money in there."
"I did promise him I would," the widow answers. "So I got it all together, deposited every penny in my account, and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."
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The pastor decides to use one rich parishioner to set an example. "John," he says, "you’re a successful businessman; surely you could contribute more to the building fund."
John replies, "But my mother is in a nursing home, my daughter just lost her job, and my son is starting college … If I can say no to them, I can say no to you too."
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After cashing a check at the bank, the woman in front of me stood staring at her money. "Did I give you enough back?" asked the teller. "Yes," she said. "But barely."
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Visiting a college campus, the prospective student spots a building called Hemingway Hall. "That’s nice," he says, "a building named for Ernest Hemingway."
"Actually," says the tour guide, "it’s named for Joshua Hemingway."
"Was he a writer?" the student asks.
"Yes. He wrote a big check."
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We were eating at one of the trendier restaurants in town when my friend pointed to the menu and told the waitress, "I’ll have the 24."
"Uh, Jim," I whispered, "that’s the price, not the meal number."
"Oh," he said. "Then give me the 12."
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Good morning everyboomie.
Sundays are always good.
Saturday was good also. I had a good fight with two blinds. I was good and frustrated.
Hanging blinds is a piece of cake. Removing slats to shorten them is a nasty bitter chunk of chewing tobacco.
I took the other blinds back and got some different ones that match one I had hung in my living room, which I never had shortened. I hung the one in the bedroom, and found out the bottom of the window opening is about a 1/4" narrower than the top. The blinds fit perfect at the top, and would not fit at the bottom until I defaced the opening.
Then I had to shorten both sets, which took about 10 hours.
I decided to keep the single CD player. I can only listen to one at a time anyway.
I wonder what adventures I'll have Sunday.
Have a great day everyone.
joe
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witter
Enjoy your adventures today. 
with your photos, Ana. I'm sure they'll turn out beautifully. 
