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Monday #1083624
09/25/16 08:21 PM
09/25/16 08:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

JOSH BILLINGS

````````````````````

Honest Brand Slogans

Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by 
a corporation.”

Ritz crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”

CliffsNotes: “They’re still going to know you didn’t read the book.”

Gillette: “We’re just going to keep adding blades.”

ChapStick: “You’ll misplace it before the tube’s empty.”

Hot Pockets: “Every bite is a different temperature.”

`````````````

Weird Questions Librarians Hear…

Before google, there were librarians. Here are some queries posed to the poor, suffering staff of public libraries:

• A woman wanted “inspirational material on grass and lawns.”

• “Who built the English Channel?”

• “Is there a full moon every night in Acapulco?”

• “Music suitable for a doll wedding to take place between a Shirley 
Temple doll and a teddy bear.”

• “Can the New York Public Library recommend a good forger?”

```````````````

I’ve been working on my PhD 
in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work.
As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get 
a job there.

Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”

“Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.”

`````````````````

The black lacquer stand 
holding his prized samurai swords was dusty, so my husband left our cleaning lady a note, reading, “Check out my swords.” That evening, he found the stand just as dirty as 
before but with this appended to 
his note: “Nice swords.”

`````````````

At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.

“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said.

“No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in 
our wall.”

``````````````

A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that 
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.

Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with 
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.

``````````````

Overheard At Our Diner…

Girl: Ick! Why does this sandwich have bacon on it?

Friend: You ordered a BLT.

Girl: Whaaaat? I thought the B stood for bread.


I hope that wasn't Joe's Diner. lol

`````````````````

E-mail Addresses It Would Be Annoying To Give Out Loud

MikeUnderscore2004@yahoo.com

MikeAtYahooDotCom@hotmail.com

Mike_WardAllOneWord@yahoo.com

AAAAAAThatsSixAs@yahoo.com

1OneTheFirstJustTheNumberTheSecondSpelledOut@hotmail.com

`````````````````````

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.

“I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.

“No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

`````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Welcome to Joe's Sunday Night Diner. snicker


I only say that because my Cowboys are playing tonight, and the game is just starting, so you might want to take a picture as I post this and sprint for the door.


I'll turn the diner over to you all. thumbsup


Last one out turn the lights off. razz


Have a happy day everyone. rah


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 09/25/16 08:25 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083627
09/25/16 08:55 PM
09/25/16 08:55 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Monday Joe. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083648
09/25/16 10:54 PM
09/25/16 10:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
I'm going to bed now so the person behind me can turn the lights out. smile

Midgie hearts wavegirl


Just do it.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083649
09/25/16 10:55 PM
09/25/16 10:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Have a happy day Joe! Hope your Cowboys win!

SpaceQ, yes, I know it's Monday, but try and make it a great day anyways!

Have a super day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083661
09/26/16 04:49 AM
09/26/16 04:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning all coffee and tea are ready. It's a rather chilly morning here! Wishing you all a great day! fall


Gerry
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083665
09/26/16 06:37 AM
09/26/16 06:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Monday. Outlaw gets his stitches out this morning. I know he will be happy to get the cone off his head. Danish, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083669
09/26/16 08:10 AM
09/26/16 08:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope you all have a magnificent Monday wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083674
09/26/16 08:30 AM
09/26/16 08:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers hamster

Joe, good morning. Hope you slept well.

Ana, have a great day today.

Midgie, enjoy the day!

Manxman, happy Monday!

Space, have a good day!

Connie, Outlaw will be really happy today.

Gerry, chilly here too. I have the heat on.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day. Brisk Fall weather here today. fall

Last edited by GBC; 09/26/16 08:31 AM.

Gail
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083680
09/26/16 08:59 AM
09/26/16 08:59 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope your team wins, Joe. rah

Have a great day, Space Quest.

Hope you slept well, Midge.

Have a terrific day, Ana.

Hope you're staying warm, Gerry.

Glad to hear Outlaw can remove his cone, Connie. thumbsup

Have a magnificent day also, manxman.

Enjoy your cooler weather, Gail. thumbsup

I'm off today, which means more time to practice and game. smile The weather's getting cooler here also, though it still only really feels like fall at night. I did need my space heater last night, so that's something. grin

Hope everyone has a great Monday. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday [Re: venus] #1083687
09/26/16 09:38 AM
09/26/16 09:38 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning gang. yay

It's a great day. The Cowboys won last night. woot

It's nice and cool this morning, in the low 60s, but we never got the promised rain they kept predicting for us. We got some light rain while heavy rain blanketed most of Texas and Oklahoma. You could watch it as on the radar as it simply vanished into thin air just as it reached us.......as if by design. frown

Since it's so nice outside I have to get going to take my doggies to the park. They are patiently waiting. haha

I have to get some new smoke, and carbon monoxide detectors. My CM detector started going off yesterday, and I could not call anybody but 911. They sent the fire department, who I tried to call first, and they came and tested for gas leaks and CM. There was none. My CO2 detector is no longer working. smirk

I hope everyone has a fantastic day today. yes

joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 09/26/16 09:39 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083697
09/26/16 10:23 AM
09/26/16 10:23 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama

Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Waiting on a call back from the dishwasher folks. It hasn't worked right since they were here..stopped leaking but also stopped cleaning correctly. Gonna give them a little longer to call me back and then heading out to price new ones as hubby and I were discussing the fact that this one is a little elderly.

Joe, love the quote. Glad the Cowboys won for you.

Space, hope work is fun.

Midgy, wave

Ana, anything fun planned?

Woo, hoo, Connie, you need to have a Party to celebrate. I feel so bad for poor babies with cones.

Manx, have a great day.

Gail, send some "brisk" our way please.

Heater, Venus? We are still running AC here at night sad


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083706
09/26/16 10:50 AM
09/26/16 10:50 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Congratulations, Joe. woot Have fun at the park with the dogs. puppy

Sorry to hear that, L4L. sad Not sure if it's any consolation, but it wasn't really that cold, only in the 50's. I just get cold really easily. lol It's still in the 70's during the day, which feels more like it should be late spring/early summer weather. Hope the dishwasher people call you soon.

Okay, time to find a game to play. grin


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083713
09/26/16 11:21 AM
09/26/16 11:21 AM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
morning , everyone . wave

way chilly here , too. woke up cold and briefly debated turning on the heat.

now it's cold . breezy , and overcast. feels more like early winter than fall.

looks like a good day for laundry ,and using the oven.

l4l - it's always something , isn't it ? good luck


have a wonderful day ! catrub

Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083715
09/26/16 11:32 AM
09/26/16 11:32 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
C02 detectors are fun Joe! I had a tenant (long since evicted) whose detector kept going off. We checked everything. Got a new detector and in days, it was going off all the time too. Finally I went to see the new detector and lo and behold, I found that it wasn't working because her DOG had been LICKING it right over the sensor area. Geez! Nothing like dog drool to ruin an expensive electronic item. AND they can't be cleaned. Tried that. My detector goes off in hot weather when the exhaust from cars waft into the house. Fun.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday [Re: Sorta Blonde] #1083744
09/26/16 03:26 PM
09/26/16 03:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083784
09/26/16 08:09 PM
09/26/16 08:09 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
The current temperature right now at my house is 101! Geez, it's not been this hot since I was in college. Wow wow wow! Thank goodness the humidity is only at 10 percent. Yup, 10. Terrible for the fire danger, but great for buffering the heat index. I'm actually not too yukky just sitting under my fan with the doors closed. When the sun goes down, I'll open the front and back doors and let the cool air blow through. Our normal temp is 70. Wheeeeee!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083789
09/26/16 08:38 PM
09/26/16 08:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
10% humidity...jealous jealous jealous!

We've never had 10% in AL in my memory.

Anyway, it's that times. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1083794
09/26/16 09:39 PM
09/26/16 09:39 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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