In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to remember seven generations in the past and consider seven generations in the future when making decisions that affect the people.
WILMA MANKILLER
There's something about her name........
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A neighbor finds a young boy sitting on the stairs crying. “What’s the matter, honey?” she asks him.
“It’s my father,” the boy says, sobbing. “He hit his finger with a hammer.”
“Then why are you crying?” she says.
“Because first I laughed!” he answers.
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As they leave the courthouse, a lawyer turns to his grim-faced client and says, “Janez, what’s wrong? You were acquitted.”
“I know, but now I’m really in trouble,” says Janez. “I just rented out my apartment for three years.”
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Did you hear about the giant who threw up? It’s all over town.
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How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
Put lox on it.
I'm sure somebody will get that one.
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Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit?
It was the herd shot around the world.
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Would You Like to Join …
The Yoko Club? Oh no.
The German Philosophy Club? I Kant.
The Compulsive-Rhymers Club? Okey-dokey.
The Codependence Club? Can I bring a friend?
The Procrastinators Club? Maybe next week.
Okey-dokey? They stole that from me, but it's Okie-Dokie with me!!
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Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
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The hashtag #literaryturducken asked Twitter users to combine the titles of three classic books into a single title. Here are some responses:
Anne of Green Eggs and Hamlet
You Are What You Eat, Pray, Love in the Time of Cholera
What’s Eating Gilbert Grapes of Wrath of the Titans
How Green Was My Valley of the Doll’s House
The Art of War and Peace in Our Time
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Reddit.com asked workers: What is rule number one in your profession? Here’s what came back:
Plumber: “Don’t chew your fingernails.”
Roofer: “You are fired before you hit the ground.”
Camp counselor: “Don’t lose the kid.”
Scuba diver: “If it moves, it wants to kill you.”
Photographer: “Take the lens cap off.”
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Did you hear about the cell phones that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was terrific.
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Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, ate very little, and often fasted, leaving him thin and with very bad breath. Thus he is often thought of as a super callused, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
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How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until it’s Bill Withers.
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How does Moses make tea?
He brews.
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I have a stepladder. It’s a very nice stepladder. But it’s sad that I never knew my real ladder.
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“Martin Levine, owner of a movie theater chain in New York City, has passed away at age 65,” read the newspaper obit. “The funeral will be held on Thursday at 2:10, 4:20, 6:30, 8:40, and 10:50.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to Thank God It's Friday!
I like it much better than Thank God It's Wednesday, or Thank God It's Thursday, or any of those other TGI days.
The theme of the week will corntinue, for your reading pleasure.
Aren't you really happy it's Friday though?
Have a really happy day everyone.
joe