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Tuesday's #1086312
10/17/16 10:39 PM
10/17/16 10:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
DUTCH PROVERB

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains

```````````````

Punography

I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

`````````````````


Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: Cost - $29.99
Clinton : Cost - $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bull---- artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing

```````````````````

{title}
Between Generations
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...

1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat handle comb in the back pocket was cool.

2. In your class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up.

3. You know by heart the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song (Just eat it, eat it, don't make me repeat it...)

4. You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"

5. Three words: ATARI, IntelliVision and Coleco, sound familiar.

6. You remember the premier of MTV, in fact, you remember the Friday Night Videos before the days of MTV.

7. A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.

8. While in high school, you and your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play Prince's "1999" until you passed out partying.

9. You remember when music that was labeled alternative, really was alternative. And when alternative comedy really was funny.

10. You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.

11 You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.

12. You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: When I was younger...When I was your age...You know,back when...

13. Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language (Conjunction junction, what's your function....).

14. You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna or Cyndi Lauper video.

15. The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during either "Crazy for You" or "Leather and Lace".

16. You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made our old Big Wheel quite obsolete.

17. The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.

18. You honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.

19. You had a crush on either Ted the photographer on The Love Boat, Gage from Emergency or Ponch the motorcycle cop from CHiPs.

20. Your hair at some point in time in the 80's became something which can only be described by the phrase, "I was experimenting."

21. You've shopped at a Benetton.

```````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Sometime today while my love is away,
I'll put in my teeth and I'll go out to play.
I'll give the old gals on my block a big smile,
they'll run from their yards and they'll chase me a while.
Then when I'm back home, and my love doth return,
she'll ask how my day was with loving concern.
I'll tell her I followed my Doctor's advice,
and went out for some aerobic exercise. burger


I really spent most of my day watching DIY programs of TV. thumbsup


I now know how to lighten age spots......which required another trip to Lowe's for a couple of more gallons of paint. pumpkin


I tried it on my girlfriend first however, and it worked great.


In fact I can't even find her now. shocked


I may be able to locate her if I put red paint in my new Ninja Blender and turn it on without the lid. razz


That will also give me that Jackson Pollock designer paint job on I've been thinking about. rah


What a great idea! woot


Have a happy day everyone.


joe





Last edited by gymcandy1; 10/18/16 01:12 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1086314
10/17/16 11:09 PM
10/17/16 11:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
rotfl THanks for starting the day with so many chuckles! Hope you have a day that is everything you want it to be!

I'll be going to Starved Rock. At least that is my plan as long as the weather cooperates.

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1086318
10/18/16 03:05 AM
10/18/16 03:05 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Jackpumpkin Good Morning Joe, Ana and all. Joe enjoy your day. Ana have fun! Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a great day! Jackpumpkin


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1086336
10/18/16 06:22 AM
10/18/16 06:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
bat Jackpumpkin Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Company arrived last night. Dinner and karaoke at 66 Panda tonight. Danish, BB Pancakes, Bacon Sandwiches, and Pumpkin Pancakes in the NC. witch ghost2


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1086345
10/18/16 08:25 AM
10/18/16 08:25 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers pumpkin

Joe, enjoy whatever the day brings around today!

Ana, have fun at Starved Rock.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Enjoy the weather.

Connie, have fun tonight. Think I'll try the pumpkin pancakes this morning.

Beautiful weather here today. An early walk with Nina then coffee with my neighbor. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! bat


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1086365
10/18/16 11:29 AM
10/18/16 11:29 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
lol Joe I can just see you doing that too! Thanks for the laughs! Have a lovely day!

Ana I hope the weather co=operates and you can get to Starved Rock! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the tea! Have a lovely day!

Connie have fun out tonight! Thanks for the Danish and have a lovely day!

Gail have a nice walk with Nina and enjoy the neighborly coffee time! Have a lovely day!

L4l sadly my Abbi days are few and far between now that she is in school all day! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1086370
10/18/16 12:04 PM
10/18/16 12:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Today is going to be a pondering sort of day. Pondering if I feel like getting out for a walk, and pondering the odd book to cook and pondering what we should have for dinner tomorrow that is healthy, delcious, and easy and fast wave

Off to ponder


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1086381
10/18/16 01:19 PM
10/18/16 01:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good, almost still morning, everybody. wave2

It's a sunny and windy 85 degrees here already today. yes

I had breakfast, and took the dogs to the park in Durant this morning, and then to Walmart. car

Everything is put up now, and I'm ready for some breakfast. I'm wishing I had bought some hot dogs at the store because that's what I suddenly have a craving for. rolleyes

Ah well, I've got plenty to eat. I'll find something else. happydance

Then it's nap time. tired

Have a great day everyone. thumbsup

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1086407
10/18/16 04:06 PM
10/18/16 04:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1086414
10/18/16 06:15 PM
10/18/16 06:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Welcome home, Space wave What's on the docket for tonight?

I just finished up the tacos, so it's time for me to sit and let my leg thaw until hubby and son get home wave

edit: Weatherman just said we broke a record that has stood since the 1800's today by 5 degrees, and our average temp by 14.....sad

Last edited by looney4labs; 10/18/16 06:18 PM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1086422
10/18/16 07:34 PM
10/18/16 07:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hi looney. A quiet night at home. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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