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Happy Hump Day #1087363
10/25/16 09:23 PM
10/25/16 09:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween.

~Author unknown

````````````````

TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED...

10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".

9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.

8. The cat is on Valium.

7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.

6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.

5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.

4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.

3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.

2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.

1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.

```````````````

TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS...

10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet

8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."

5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

3. You're counting down the days until menopause.

2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

``````````````````

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...


10. Cats' facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

1. OTHER WOMEN

``````````````

TOP TEN THINGS MEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP WITH A VAGINA FOR A DAY...

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.


TOP TEN THINGS WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A [blip] FOR A DAY...

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Not going there!

8. Can't repeat that one either.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging [blip].

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his [blip] which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9......

``````````````````

TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

``````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


What a beautiful day it is! bravo


For some reason it seems like a Sunday to me, I don't know why. duh


It must be the laziness in me. wink


It was so nice yesterday, that I decided to go fishing. joy


I rushed around getting ready so as not to waist any time, and as I was about to leave I remembered that I don't fish. shame


I really like to eat fish though, so I went to the store and bought some salmon. turkey


When I got home I was about to cook it and it hit me........I don't cook either. taz


The real kicker, after all that, is that I keep gaining weight.


Go figure.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087367
10/25/16 09:52 PM
10/25/16 09:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
lol You crack me up Joe! Enjoy your new truck today! Road trip!!!! laugh

Have a happy day everyone! I am having all new kitchen appliances put in today. We bought them all together 17 years ago and they all breaking together. I need everything functioning for the holidays and entertaining so had to bite the bullet and get them all. It will be nice to have new stuff though, the kids were little with the others and scratched them all up. I'm excited!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1087368
10/25/16 10:00 PM
10/25/16 10:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
All new appliances? Congratulations Ana! bravo

You gotta be excited about that. yes


What color are they? happydance


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087373
10/25/16 10:39 PM
10/25/16 10:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Stainless Steel Joe. I've never had anything but white, so this will be new for me. It was much cheaper buying a bundle than buying separate so we got a great deal. Not the top of the line by any means but much nicer than what I had. joy


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1087377
10/25/16 10:58 PM
10/25/16 10:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I'm happy for you. You do a lot of cooking for a lot of people, and deserve to have nice appliances. yes


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087382
10/26/16 01:14 AM
10/26/16 01:14 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning everyone wave
Good to be back happydance
I hope everyone is ok,have a nice day. wavegirl


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087393
10/26/16 05:26 AM
10/26/16 05:26 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Jackpumpkin Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and everyone. Joe did you eat your fish? Good Luck with the new appliances Ana! Haroula welcome back! I've missed you here at the Diner! wave2 How are you and what's new with you? Coffee and tea are ready. Enjoy your day everyone! Jackpumpkin


Gerry
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087398
10/26/16 06:49 AM
10/26/16 06:49 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Hump Day. Welcome back Haroula. Ana, congrats on the new appliances. Joe, enjoy your new truck, it's beautiful. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. bat witch Jackpumpkin


Connie
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087401
10/26/16 07:19 AM
10/26/16 07:19 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers Jackpumpkin

Joe, enjoy your new truck and your fish. car

Ana, yay on the new appliances. woot

Haroula, welcome back. You were missed. welcome

Gerry, coffee please! woozy

Connie, have a great day! frenchie

Doc appointment for me this morning. Wishing everyone a super duper day! witch


Gail
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087409
10/26/16 08:16 AM
10/26/16 08:16 AM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Hi Haroula,
Nice to see back. Hope you and family are well.


wavegirl to everyone!

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087447
10/26/16 11:02 AM
10/26/16 11:02 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe congrats on the new set of wheels!! Enjoy! Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!

Wow Ana! Congrats on the new kitchen!!! Enjoy! Have a lovely day!

Welcome back, Haroula! Missed you! Hope all is well. Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie sounds like a nice evening, enjoy! Thanks for the Danish and have a lovely day!

Gail good luck at the doc appointment! Have a lovely day!

wave MaG!!! Have a lovely day!

witch
Nan

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087456
10/26/16 12:42 PM
10/26/16 12:42 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
NEW appliances! Sounds awesome Ana. All of mine went 'togerher' too just after my divorce. Everything broke right from the washer then dryer then fridge, then compactor, vacuum cleaner, and every lightbulb in the house! It was like a horror movie.

Glad you are getting new stuff. Stainless is soooo pretty. Just don't believe all the hype about 'no finger prints'. I tried some in the store when I was looking. Maybe it's just MY fingerprints, but I had no trouble making and seeing them on every one I tried. My appliances (except for the antiqueish stove are black. No finger prints there. thumbsup

Kitten news. All 3 are still going strong. Mom has now branched out and is leading them under the fence to the neighbor's yard for 'training'. They are all over there doing cat stuff like pouncing and catching and hiding and running to attack mom and vice-versa. So cute. I still worry more now since that is where the 'last' of the last litter disappeared. Sigh. Wish animals had no predators. Still, they are cute and at least 2 are males, so I'm happy that I won't have to worry about babies anytime soon from them. 3rd runt cat, Shadow, is still to be determined. I'm trying to let it feel safer when I can touch it. It still stays pretty far from me, but when hungry can be grabbed. Poor little runt kitty. So small, healthy, but half the size of the siblings. I'm thinking it's a female and is going to be slim like mom.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: Sorta Blonde] #1087494
10/26/16 04:29 PM
10/26/16 04:29 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087529
10/26/16 08:29 PM
10/26/16 08:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Oops, thought I was here earlier, but must have forgotten to hit 'submit.' It's been a busy day and it's time for bed.

Ana, all new appliances. Congrats joy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1087533
10/26/16 09:38 PM
10/26/16 09:38 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Congrats Ana and good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1087536
10/26/16 09:55 PM
10/26/16 09:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Wow Ana, you must be in heaven. Enjoy!

I'm gonna say good night. It's been a very long day for me. This is my day off. So now I need to find my pillow. Night all.

Midgie hearts wavegirl sleep


Just do it.
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