ANONYMOUS
The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
Anonymous is the smartest person I don't know.```````````````
Check out these types of crossbred dogs...Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists everywhere
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, a dog that....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed
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The Cynic's Guide to LifeThe journey of a thousand miles begins with a squeaking fan belt and a leaky tire.
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and...
Follow your dream. Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone.
If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.
If a motorists cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothings gets the message across like a good mooning.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bon bon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the 'thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge' group.
Just remember... You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor's car.
When you find yourself getting irritated with someone, try to remember that all men are brothers... and just give them a noogie or an Indian burn.
This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives say over.
Love is like a roller coaster. If you like it, you don't want to get off, and when you don't... you can't wait to throw up.
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DaffynitionsAdvertisement: The most truthful part of a newspaper.
Afternoon: The part of the day spent figuring how we wasted the morning.
Afterthought: A tardy sense of prudence that prompts one to try to shut his mouth about the time he has put his foot in it.
Agriculturist: One who makes his money in town and blows it in the country.
Ambition: A poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
Ambulance: A shuttle between a speeding motorcycle and a wheelchair.
Animals: Creatures that do not grab for more when they have enough.
Antique Collector's Song: “You take the highboy and I'll take the lowboy.”
Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.
Apartment: A place where you start to turn off your radio and discover you've been listening to your neighbor's.
Apologize: To repeat an insult with variations.
Argument: Something that gets better when you don't have facts.
Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.
Awe: Showing respect with your mouth wide open.
Baby: A perfect example of minority rule.
Bachelor: A thing of beauty and a boy forever.
Backbiter: A mosquito.
Bald: When one has less hair to comb but more face to wash.
Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.
Bargain: Something that's so reasonable they won't take it back when you find out what's wrong with it.
Benefactor: One who returns part of his loot.
Big Game Hunter: A person who can spot a leopard.
Budget: What you can’t do to a woman’s mind once it’s made up.
Buffet Dinner: Where the hostess doesn't have enough chairs for everybody.
Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
Business: Something which, if you don't have any, you go out of.
Businessman: The man to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom
Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
Checkroom: Where the sheep are separated from the coats.
Chef: An interior decorator.
Christian Nation: One that has Churches too many people stay away from on Sunday.
Classic: A book which people praise and don't read.
Class Reunion: Where everyone gets together to see who is falling apart.
Combustion: What takes place when there isn't enough goods in a store to cover the insurance.
Commercial: The warning you get to shut off the radio or television.
Community Chest: An organization that puts all its begs into one ask it.
Conceited Person: One who mistakes a big head for greatness.
Conference: A long coffee break.
Congress: A body of government that does not solve problems - it just investigates them.
Conscience: A still, small voice that tells you when you are about to get caught.
Contortionist: The only person who can do what everyone else would like to do - pat himself on the back.
Cookbook: A volume that is full of stirring passages.
Cow: A machine that makes it possible for people to eat grass.
Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
Croquet: Chess with sweat.
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Good morning everyboomie.
I hope you all had a great day yesterday with your loved ones.
I had a super day, the weather was awesome for taking the dogs to the park, I didn't exercise anything except my gluteus maximus, AND the Cowboys won their 10th game in a row.
That's all I got. Now I'm going to finish out this day with my pups.
Have a happy Friday everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Gotta head out and lock up the chickens and feed the barn cats and then it's me, my book, a glass of wine and my cozy corner for a couple of hours. Perfect end to a perfect day!
Good morning Joe, Trail, Drac, Ana, Haroula and everyone. Sounds like a lot of happy Thanksgivings! Black Friday is a day to relax for me! Never could get the courage to shop on a "Black Day"! Coffee and tea are ready. Enjoy whatever the day brings! 
