Don't be cowed! True, this quiz involves puns, cow udders and filling in blanks. But don't take the risk of udder deprivation, accept the challenge! The quiz author will be udderly delighted if you do.
-1.Pierre the cow stands against the wall, blindfolded. The Nazi Colonel raises his saber. "Ready...aim..." But wait! Why is Pierre standing before a Nazi firing squad in wartime France? Of what "udder" organization is Pierre alleged to be a member?
-2.And while we're on the subject of udders, have you heard about the bull that hated teats? He held them all in _____________ ____________.
-3.Bessie's calf is named Displeasure, and Displeasure is now nursing. Oh yuck! Ants are crawling from Bessie's udder onto Displeasure's nose. What is Bessie doing with those ants? Bessie is giving _______ _______ to her Displeasure!
-4.The veterinarian with the curled, waxed mustaches and goatee carefully applied the salve to the cow's udder. The stable boy wondered why the farmer had hired this city slicker to treat old Betsy. Then, the boy suddenly realized that the salve was being painted on the udder in a disturbingly surrealistic pattern. The stable boy stood transfixed, knowing that, without a doubt, he stood in the presence of that master Spanish Veterinarian, _________ _______ _______.
-5.Timmy loved Hildegard the cow, but Hildegard refused to give milk. Timmy's father said that Hildegard had to go. What did Timmy's father say that Hildegard had become? _________ _________
-6.Edgar Allen Cow wrote a horrific story concerning the last surviving member of an illustrious cow family. It is entitled "The Fall of the _________ __ _________."
-7.Allan the cow didn't like summer camp. He missed his mom, and he missed his fodder. He wrote them a letter that began as follows: "Hello _______ ." (This later became the title of a very popular cow song.)
-8.Andrew was an innovative shoemaker. Realizing how tough and durable cow udders were, he made the bottoms of his shoes from them. Andrew's shoes were initially very popular, but Andrew was driven out of business by the clever advertising slogan of a competitor. His competitor vowed, "I will not be __________ __________."
-9.Doris the cow asks Gertrude the cow the question, "why does the chicken cross the road?" Gertrude answers, "to get to the ________ ________." Which words belong in the blank?
10.A sober individual desires a quiz that presents useful information in a rational manner with an appropriately somber tone. How might such an individual characterize this quiz?
a. All of these
b. Udderly ridiculous
c. Udderly useless
d. Udderly insane
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