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Tuesday's #1091828
12/05/16 09:41 PM
12/05/16 09:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

`````````````````

Funny British Signs
A collection of seriously funny signs found in Great Britain, but could really be found pretty much anywhere...

1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

3. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.

4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

5. ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)

6. OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

7. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

8. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

10. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.

11. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

12. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

13. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

14. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.)

15. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

``````````````````

Funny Instructions
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

`````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Life marches on.......or should I say time marches on. wink12


I just hope it keeps time with the band. yay12


Today is the first day of the rest.......... lol12


No, today I am dog sitting. My friends across the street, have to go to Oklahoma City for medical appointments, and I am keeping their two dogs all day. bravo12


One of them is Missy's brother Beau, and the other is a 10 year old Sheltie named Lanny. He's a sweetie, and so is Beau. puppy


So, not many plans other than that. Not sure if I can get Lanny to go to the park. He's doesn't care for car rides. lab


I don't either when my sister's driving. wink12


I didn't think I was going to make it to Dallas and back alive. pacify


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 12/05/16 09:47 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091831
12/05/16 10:01 PM
12/05/16 10:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Tuesday everyone. wink


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091832
12/05/16 10:32 PM
12/05/16 10:32 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
reindeer Joe. Thanks.

wave12 SpaceQ and everyone. Enjoy the day!

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091839
12/05/16 11:22 PM
12/05/16 11:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, when are you headed to Dallas? Have fun puppy sitting! You are going to need lots of extra hands to keep them all adequately petted. puppy

SpaceQ, have a great day!

MaG, hearts how much snow did you get?

Good morning all! It's a painting day. Yuck. :lol:


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091847
12/06/16 12:06 AM
12/06/16 12:06 AM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
No additional inches. Most are melted now.
Had oral surgery today. cry12

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091848
12/06/16 12:28 AM
12/06/16 12:28 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Oh no!!! sad HUGS!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091860
12/06/16 02:12 AM
12/06/16 02:12 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning all. santa
We had our fist visit from the tooth fairy yesterday. happydance12
How exciting. happydance12
I hope you all have a happy day. santadance

Last edited by Haroula; 12/06/16 06:19 AM.

I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091867
12/06/16 06:12 AM
12/06/16 06:12 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
happydance12 Good morning Joe, Space, MaG, Ana, Haroula and everyone. Joe enjoy your day with all the pups. lab Space have a great day too. MaG hope you are feeling better after the oral surgery. catrub Take care. Ana maybe the painting won't be so bad! grin12 Haroula I'll bet that was exciting for the little one. yes Coffee and tea are ready. Happy Day everyone! happydance12


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091875
12/06/16 07:56 AM
12/06/16 07:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Hugs MaG. flowers I think I will address Christmas cards today. Dinner,karaoke, and dancing at 88Panda tonight. santadance Danish, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. tree


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091878
12/06/16 08:14 AM
12/06/16 08:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers santa

Joe, enjoy the pups.

Ana, hope the painting goes smoothly for you.

MaG, hope you're recovering good. hugs!

Harouls, I'll bet Junior was excited about the Tooth Fairy?

Gerry, Coffee sounds inviting this morning.

Connie, I got my cards done yesterday. Enjoy tonight out.

Wishing everyone a super duper day! happydance12


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091905
12/06/16 10:42 AM
12/06/16 10:42 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Gail, enjoy your day!

Connie, sounds like a fun night!

Gerry, Peter is coming to help me so at least it will be entertaining. My son is like a mobile party. lol12

Haroula, how exciting! He's growing up!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1091911
12/06/16 11:11 AM
12/06/16 11:11 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. santa

I woke up at 4:30 this morning needing a bathroom trip, and then didn't sleep much after that. I got up at 6:30 and started getting my breakfast and coffee before the neighbors brought the dogs over. Then at 8:15 my neighbor called me and told me that they called and cancelled her appointment just when they were ready to leave. duh12

That's a 2 1/2 hour drive. Glad they called early. slapforehead

So now I think I'll be going to Walmart today for groceries. Those guys might call back and want her there tomorrow, when I was planning on going for groceries.

It was very overcast early, but the clouds are starting to thin out a little. It's going to be 51 for the high point today. They are saying we'll have 'episodes' of sunshine. I hope they're not reruns. wink12

Ana I went to Dallas last month, and I made the mistake of letting my sister drive. We were driving through very heavy traffic in pouring rain through downtown Dallas, and I thought I was going to die. lol12

God bless my sister for giving up her day off to accompany me down there. I love her, but I thought she was going to drive my new truck into the concrete construction barriers that are all over the place down there, because of all the construction that never ends. I know I could have put my arm out the window and touched them, and I almost rolled the window down to try and push them away. I kept saying, "WATCH IT, WATCH IT!! scared

We were both a wreck by the time we got there. haha

Have a great day everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 12/06/16 11:28 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091920
12/06/16 12:14 PM
12/06/16 12:14 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe sorry the pups won't be coming for some fun times. Sounds like a scary ride. Almost like us driving home from Chicago Sunday in the rain/snow. Though I
m glad I wasn't doing the driving! Have a lovely day!

Ana have fun painting and glad Peter will be there to entertain you!! :lol: Have a lovely day!

Haroula how exciting!! Have a lovely day!

Space hope you have a lovely day at work!

MaG hope that you are feeling better today!! HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie have fun with the cards and enjoy yourself tonight!! Thanks for the Danish and have a lovely day!

Gail have a lovely day!

wave2
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091952
12/06/16 02:13 PM
12/06/16 02:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Dogs and I are back from a nice walk in the neighborhood. It was raining at the top of the hill, but not in any other part of the neighborhood. Then I sat down to send out my "tag" and got diverted by the internet until Sky decided to remind me that they needed to be fed.

MaG, I hope you heal quickly.

Ana, what room(s) are you painting? What color?

Haroula, tooth fairy! How fun!

Joe, I hate driving next to those concrete barriers. Scares me to death.

Nan, did you have fun in Chicago?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091978
12/06/16 04:01 PM
12/06/16 04:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Happy Tuesday to everyone! I think I finally finished my Christmas Shopping. Whew! Then I added up all the money I'd spent over the last 2 weeks and screamed. I must admit I'd bought some good stuff for good people, and a lot of essentials for ME, but wow, the cash just flies away. Amazing. I've resolved not to use any credit cards this month so let's see how that one goes. think


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1091984
12/06/16 04:50 PM
12/06/16 04:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sorta, the money does fly. luck


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1091987
12/06/16 05:20 PM
12/06/16 05:20 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave12


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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