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Magnificent Monday #1093237
12/18/16 08:04 PM
12/18/16 08:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.

JULIA CHILD

````````````````

Hospital Message

Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...


"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ...

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, Social Security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

```````````````````

Hotel Slogans

This is a list of rejected slogans for that local 2 star hotel...


16. We're working on that smell thing, too.

15. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.

14. As seen on "COPS"

13. If We'd Known You Were Staying All Night, We'd Have Changed the Sheets

12. Not just for nooners anymore.

11. We left off the 9, but you know it's there.

10. You rented the room, now buy the video.

9. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but would you have money left over for a hooker?

8. We'll leave the Lysol for ya!

7. Hey, we're not the Ritz, but just try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!

6. We don't make the adultery. We make the adultery *better*

5. It's Hookerriffic!

4. Official Lodging of the 1998 Florida Marlins

3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962!

2. Cheap and Easy -- Just Like Your Mother

1. We put the "Ho" in "Hotel"

`````````````````

Hotel Translations

We all know how misleading the description of hotels and motels can be. So we put together a translation table to help you out... So when you see one of the phrases listed on the left, you will know what it really means by reading the translation on the right!


Old world charm ................................. No bath

Tropical ............................................. Rainy

Majestic setting ................................. A long way from town

Options galore ................................... Nothing is included in the itinerary

Secluded hideaway ............................ Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered rooms .......................... Already occupied

Explore on your own ........................... Pay for it yourself

Knowledgeable trip hosts .................... They've flown in an airplane before

No extra fees ..................................... No extras

Nominal fee ....................................... Outrageous charge

Standard ........................................... Sub-standard

Deluxe .............................................. Standard

Superior ............................................ One free shower cap

Cozy ................................................. Small

All the amenities ................................ Two free shower caps

Plush ................................................ Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes .................................. Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy ..................................... No air conditioning

Picturesque ....................................... Theme park nearby

Open bar ........................................... Free ice cubes

Concierge ....................................... Stand with tourist brochures

Continental breakfast ..................... Free muffin

```````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Weekends come and weekends go. No problem you can still spend the week with Joe. thumbsup12


On current events, and politics, I have little to say, but if you'll share yours, I'll share my day. bravo12


If you don't then I'll share mine anyway, so you may as well. wink12


If I'm not sharing my thoughts with folks here at Gameboomers, then I'm just walking around talking to myself. taz


I'm trying real hard to reach out and share my feelings with my dogs, but I keep getting that head tilt, and look of "Are you saying it's lunch time, or time to go to the park, because we don't want to hear anything else come out of your lips?" "Food, or Park?" puppy


At least I have more important matters to contemplate, like when I'm going head hunting again, and where. sherlock


Well....There's also football. woot


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 12/18/16 08:11 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093243
12/18/16 08:39 PM
12/18/16 08:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
JOe, I hope your Cowboys win tonight! As always, Bears lost. We wouldn't want to break tradition. grin12

Hubby will be on vacation after today so I'm looking forward to not having a schedule. Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1093247
12/18/16 10:04 PM
12/18/16 10:04 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Monday everyone and congrats Raiders fans. wink


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093254
12/18/16 11:13 PM
12/18/16 11:13 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a terrific day Joe, Ana, Space Quest and all who follow. wave12

It's Sunday night here, and I'm off to sleep before facing another work day.

Have a great Monday, everyone. tree


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093255
12/18/16 11:40 PM
12/18/16 11:40 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Hope you got some needed rest this weekend, Venus!

SpaceQ, do you have our cold?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093261
12/19/16 02:27 AM
12/19/16 02:27 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning all. wave12
Unusual cold here,for this time of year. winter
Have all a nice day. santadance


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093264
12/19/16 04:40 AM
12/19/16 04:40 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
tree Good Morning Joe, Ana, Space, venus, Haroula and everyone. Coffee, tea, and hot chocolate are ready. It is cold outside! shiver
Happy Day wished for you all! tree


Gerry
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093273
12/19/16 07:26 AM
12/19/16 07:26 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, BB Pancakes, French Toast, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. tree


Connie
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093279
12/19/16 09:07 AM
12/19/16 09:07 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers tree

Wishing everyone a super good Monday! santadance


Gail
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: GBC] #1093283
12/19/16 09:39 AM
12/19/16 09:39 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Ana we don't have it as bad as you did. We are at 16 degrees now.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093302
12/19/16 11:55 AM
12/19/16 11:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

Boys and I are hanging by the fire. It's 30 degrees out there which means it's a wee bit chilly in the den. I could, of course, turn on the heat, but what fun is that?

I'm cooking books today along with laundry and cooking a turkey breast for dinner. Boys will be with us for most of this week.

Hubby and I finished up shopping yesterday in the midst of the pouring rain. We were both beat, even though we didn't do that much shopping. Son and boys put up the tree while we were gone.

Joe, love the Julia Child quote! My dogs feel the same as yours.


Ana, sounds lovely. Hope whatever you all find to do, it's fun.

Space, you have a great day too. Any time off for Christmas?

Venus, have a great day.

Stay warm, Haroula.

Gerry, think I'll take advantage of the hot chocolate this morning. Thanks.

Connie, grabbing a bacon sandwich to go with my hot chocolate. Thanks.

Gail, have a great day.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093305
12/19/16 12:07 PM
12/19/16 12:07 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Off to my annual boobie squish. It's -11f out there. I hope the machine is warmed up. penguin


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093321
12/19/16 01:27 PM
12/19/16 01:27 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Holy Moly, Ana, that's awful


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093338
12/19/16 03:00 PM
12/19/16 03:00 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
I hiked in that last night. lol12 Bundled up of course! And boobie squish went well, so a little cold was worth it!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093353
12/19/16 04:45 PM
12/19/16 04:45 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,940
Lincoln, NE
GuybrushThreepwood Offline
Addicted Boomer
GuybrushThreepwood  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,940
Lincoln, NE
My cat has only one thing to say, and she repeats it every 20 minutes, "MEOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!" The translaton of which is "my dish is empty, fill it now!"


Currently Playing:
Adventure Game: Broken Age
Darkside: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093356
12/19/16 04:56 PM
12/19/16 04:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ana, you are amazing. I'd never go out the door in that cold of weather. Even 30's sends my asthma off.

Guybrush rotfl12


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #1093358
12/19/16 05:07 PM
12/19/16 05:07 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
So happy the Raiders won the game. Although I'm supposed to be rooting for the Chargers, I've decided they should definitely move to Los Angeles or anywhere else. Tired of them losing but asking for more money to build some new stadium and not agreeing to anything proposed. Blah! hardwall


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Magnificent Monday [Re: Sorta Blonde] #1093375
12/19/16 09:35 PM
12/19/16 09:35 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Sorta I couldn't believe how the San Diego stadium was full of Raider fans on Sunday.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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