The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
DOUG LARSON
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Housekeeping Tips
Tomorrow I will do the housework, NO EXCUSES!!! (unless they're good ones)1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!
3. The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.
4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.
6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.
7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.
8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.
9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
11. Simplify... hire a maid.
12: My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being Hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
13. I'm not going to vacuum until someone makes one you can ride on.
14. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
15. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
16. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.
17. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
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How Cold Is It?
Its amazing what effect temperature has on things...60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe).
50 Miami residents turn on the heat.
40 You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.
35 Italian cars don't start.
32 Water freezes.
30 You plan your vacation to Australia. Minnesotans put on T-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. British cars don't start.
25 Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.
20 You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation further south.
15 French cars don't start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10 Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 You plan your vacation in Houston. American cars don't start.
0 Alaskans put on T-shirts. Too cold to skate.
-10 German cars don't start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don't start.
-25 Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 You plan a two week hot bath. The Mighty Monongahela freezes. Swedish cars don't start.
-40 Californians disappear Minnesotans button top button Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip south.
-50 Congressional hot air freeze Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 Hell freezes over Polar bears move south.
-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
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How's Your Job?
You could only find jokes more cheesy than these if you worked at a cheese factory...Q. How's your job at the clock company?
A. Only time will tell.
Q. How's your job at the banana company?
A. I keep slipping up.
Q. How's your job on the new highway?
A. I'm so busy I don't know which way to turn.
Q. How's your job at the travel agency?
A. I'm going nowhere.
Q. How's your job at the swivel chair company?
A. It makes my head spin!
Q. How's your job at the lemon juice company?
A. I've had bitter jobs.
Q. How's your job at the pie company?
A. It didn't pan out.
Q. How's your job at the balloon factory?
A. We can't keep up with inflation.
Q. How's your job at the crystal ball company?
A. I'm making a fortune.
Q. How's your job at the history book company?
A. There's no future in it.
Q. How's your job at the clock company?
A. I'm having second thoughts about it.
Q. How's your job on the farm?
A. Problems keep cropping up.
Q. How's your job at the sewing shop?
A. Hanging on by a thread.
Q. How's your job at the eye glasses clinic?
A. I have clear job objectives.
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Good morning everyboomie.
It has been really cold here for two days.
I found that quote very appropriate though. Today I threw a snowball at my neighbor, what fun.
It was actually just a ball of mud and rock though, because we have no snow.
My neighbor was really angry.
No Christmas spirit at all.
I was very sluggish today because it was 11 degrees when I got up, and we were slated to get up to only 36 degrees.
I managed to get around and do my exercising, and after I finally got my breathing back to normal I started getting bundled up to go out. I still didn't want to go out, but my dogs were doing back flips, so at about 23 degrees, we went to the park. We had very bright sunshine today, and like I said, I was bundled up, and there was no wind, so it wasn't too bad.
Besides, I can't complain seeing what type of temperatures Ana, and Nan, and Midge, and some others go out in.
After we got back, I vacuumed the whole house, and did laundry, so my day was busy enough.
I hope you all have a very happy day today.
joe
acebook
witter
and celebrating Christmas. 
