You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

DALE CARNEGIE

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Investment Terms

Here are some definitions of investment terms typically used...

STOCK - A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.

BOND - What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.

BROKER - The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell Broke.

BEAR - What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL - What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN - Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION - A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir? Ha ha ha, well, I'm a little short this month.").

COMMISSION - The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

YAK - What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call
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Investment Guide

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people, but keeps the building standing. It's called the stock market.

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal-Mart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and an investment banker: the pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!

5. The problem with an investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria - if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it.

7. What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds' I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's.

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Into The Future

Get a glimpse into life far into the future, in the year 2056...

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2058.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2057.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped!

Florida voters still don't know how to use a voting machine

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Good morning everyboomie.


We're almost back to normal now, with the holiday behinds us.


'Normal' may a bit of a stretch where I'm concerned though.


Anyway my boys are both gone now, and it's back to just me, the dogs, and the bird.


I doubt I'll see them again this year.


We had a wonderful Christmas though, although it was short.


I will miss it........especially all the food.


I've gotta go pay attention the the Cowboy's game now.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

So we got some snow in our mountains over the last few days. Not much, but enough to have everyone driving up the short 1/2 hour to play. Scenes of happy kids sledding, throwing snowballs, all that good stuff on the news. Happy right? UNTIL you realize that the story is about the little old mining town of Julian which is quaint and lovely and the place to go for snow fun.

There were the kids sledding down hills and parents with them, in the CEMETERY! Yep, our locals had no respect and families were using it as a playground. They were using the tombstones as a slalom course! I'm horrified, saddened, ashamed that parents don't seem to respect nor teach their kids to respect the dead.

They knew the news stations were filming them, but didn't care. What's wrong with people?

Glad you had a great holiday, Joe.

Sorta, . Why would anyone ever consider this a good idea?!

It's Monday night here, and I'm off to sleep. It's back to work again in the morning. I'm not ready, but work doesn't care.

Have a great Tuesday, everyone.

Joe, I'm so glad you had the boys come, even if it was short.

Sorta, that's just so disrespectful. Someone needs to say something to them!

venus, is your work partner back now?

Have a great day everyone!

I am in two minds about using the cemetery to have fun in the snow: yes it is disrespectful in some ways and obviously damage might be caused if care was not taken, but I suspect that at least some of those lying in their graves (and in some cases perhaps largely forgotten) might welcome some youthful joy - and if not they can always go and haunt the frolickers...(naughty Lex )

...and I hope everyone is still enjoying the festive holiday: yesterday was less about food to recover from Sunday, so today will no doubt redress the balance in this household. One of my presents was a Christmas sweater, so I'm all set for next year!

Good Morning Joe, Sorta, venus, Ana, Lex and everyone. Joe sounds like you enjoyed your visit with your sons. Sorta that's awful but I like what Lex said. It puts a different perspective on it! Venus I hope your work day is calm! Ana how are things? Lex I like your thoughts on Sorta's sledding incident in the cemetery! Coffee, tea, hot chocolate ready for everyone. Wishing you all a Happy Day!

Good morning everyone, have a Super Tuesday. Danish, BB Pancakes, French Toast, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Had a wonderful Christmas here with my family. All 6 kids were here with their families. Back to normal here today.

Wishing everyone a fantastic Tuesday. Only 362 more days till Christmas.

Terrific Tuesday ya'll

The dogs were in full rebellion last night with Soot gone, so I was up all night <insert temper tantrum smiley here>. Which meant when I finally did get to go to sleep, I slept way too late.

Anyway, I'm off to cook books

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! So glad to hear you had a wonderful Christmas! Have a wonderful Tuesday's as well!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Wonderful family Christmas at daughter and son-in-law's beautiful home! Many, many family attended and it was fantastic! Tonight's another family dinner and it should be fun!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Sounds like life is good, Darlene

Good afternoon Boomers.

Hi looney

hello everyone !

hope you're all staying warm today - very cold here ,and i've turned

up my heat but haven't defrosted yet

melodee has been hitting the new catnip toy on a regular basis

today , and is quite goofy in between napping - the bed has a very

suspicious looking lump in it right now , so she probably won't

blast thru at top speed any time soon

hope you all have a wonderful day !

Hi ya Space, Welcome Home

Niteowl, sounds like Melodee is having a blast.

Kittens have developed a routine. Breakfast, then playtime with toys on the deck and me dragging a shoelace all over for them to attack. Then off they go next door through the broken fence to play with Mom, all under the watchful eye of Uncle Ninja who puts himself out of reach on top of a trellis. All 3 kittens are adopting Ninja as the male figure and try to get close to him and play with him. He's being stubborn (was a pretty good loner) but shows signs of enjoying the chase. Only 11 more days till they 'get their tonsils out'. I can't wait. I'd love to keep one as an 'alpha male' to guard the yard, but I think it's better to not add to the population. Saved up the money for the Neuter Scooter Bus and will have to pay more since I don't want them to clip the ears. They are way too cute and I'm sure the hurt will be less if they don't. Ferals are 1/4 the cost but I'm going to use some of the extra 'tenant' money to cover this.

sorta - what is clipping the ears about ? why would that be done ?

Niteowl, I "think" it's to indicate those particular ferals have already been neutered to anyone looking....but I could be wrong.

for you, Sorta, for getting this done.

Edit: Well, time has come to move operations upstairs. Sweet dreams all :sleep:

You are correct L4L, that is why they clip the ears.

WEll, I cracked my camera lens in the cold tonight and I'm a very very sad lady. It's always something, but my camera and I have a bond. I'm spending the evening on ebay hoping there is a replacement.

Have a great night all!