The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren and to do good is my religion.
THOMAS PAINE
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Kid in the DarkThis guy walks into a bar and sees a lady sitting by herself. He goes over and buys her and drink and they chat a while and he leaves with her to go to her place. They are in the middle of having a good time when he hears a noise at the door and she says "It's my husband home for lunch... quick, hide in the closet!" So he does.
He's standing in the closet when he hears this small voice... "Gee, it's dark in here". He looks around trying to find out where it came from when he hears it again... "Gee, it's dark in here..."
He quickly whispers "Shhhh, who are you?"
The little voice says "That's my mommy and daddy out there, gee, it's dark in here, I'm scared, I'm gonna scream."
The man whispers back "No, PLEASE don't scream. I'll give you five dollars if you don't scream."
The little boy answers "Gee, it's dark in here, I'm pretty scared, I'm gonna scream..."
"I'll give you ten dollars if you don't scream."
"Gee, it's dark in here, I'm REALLY scared, I'm gonna scream..."
The guy says "Look kid, here's FIFTY dollars, it's all I have, don't scream."
"Ok." the kid whispers quietly.
So the guy waits in the closet till he hears the husband finish lunch and as soon as he hears the door close he runs out of the closet and jumps out the window and runs down the street. Later that afternoon, the lady is out shopping with her son at the mall when he sees a bike in the toy store window and says to his mom "Gee, I'd REALLY like that bike."
"Sorry, I can't afford to buy you a bike."
The kid says, "That's ok, I can buy it myself, I have fifty dollars."
She pulls him aside and asks him "WHERE did you get fifty dollars?"
"I'll never tell."
"You BETTER tell me where you got that money."
"I'll never tell."
"You must have done something bad to get that money. I'm taking you to church and you can tell the priest how you got that money in confession." So she does.
The little boy is in the confessional and the door closes and he says "Gee, it's dark in here..."
And the priest answers "Now let's not start THAT again..."
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Landlord Letters 
1. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.
2. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.
4. The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?
5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.
6. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
7. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
8. The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
9. Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.
10. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.
11. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink.
12. Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away.
13. Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.
14. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his [blip] wakes me up, and it is getting too much.
15. When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.
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Good morning everyboomie.
I can't believe how hard a time I'm having holding my eyes open right now.
I didn't get up until 7:10 this morning and after breakfast and coffee, I started washing towels, and stripping beds and doing sheets.
I did my exercising, and then took the puppies to the park. A good time was had by all.
We came back home and after I had lunch, I laid down for a nap, but couldn't really sleep. I got up and took the dogs for another walk this time around the block.
After that I walked for an hour on my treadmill.
I don't really understand why I'm tired. I may be crawling off to bed early tonight though.
I hope you all have a happy day.
joe
acebook
witter
I get more tired in the winter, I think it's the lack of sun. 
Good morning joe,Space, Ana, Haroula and all. Low vitamin D levels can make you tired Joe. maybe a little more sunshine would help. Coffee, tea, and hot chocolate are ready. 
looney
