What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight–it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER
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Lessons I've learned...I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just [blip].
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more messed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the
local paper.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
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Life Mathematics
ROMANCE MATHEMATICSSmart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETICSmart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATHA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICSA woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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RetirementMy nookie days are over, my pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal, is now my water spout.
Time was when, of its own accords, from my trousers it would spring.
but now I have a full time job, just to find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.
For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.
But now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its withered head, and watch me tie my shoes.
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There was this guy who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles everyday. One morning he looked in the mirror and admired his body and noticed that he was suntanned all over with one exception, his [blip]. He went to the beach, completely undressed, and buried himself in the sand except for his [blip] which he left sticking out. Two little old ladies were strolling along the beach. One was using a cane and upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, began to move it around with her cane. Remarking to the other little old lady, she said "There really is no justice in the world!!!"
The other little old lady said, "What do you mean by that?" The first little old lady said, "Look at that........
When I was 20............... I was curious about it.
When I was 30............... I enjoyed it.
When I was 40............... I asked for it.
When I was 50............... I paid for it.
When I was 60............... I prayed for it.
When I was 70............... I forgot about it.
And now that I am 80, the damned things are growing wild and I am to old to squat!"
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Gooooood Morning EveryBoomie!
Wow! 2017 is here. Remember when everyone was so hyped up about Y2K coming?
I was born in the middle of the last century.
When I was a kid I played with toy soldiers, and cap guns. We had black and white TV with very poor reception. We were always having to go outside and twist the antenna around to try and improve the TV picture.
We finally got transistor radios that we could carry around outside and listen to music, and I wished I could take my phone with me outside, and talk to my friend while I walked around my neighborhood. "Wouldn't that be cool?" I thought to myself.
I never imagined in my life that we would one day carry around phones, that cost $600 or more, that we could also watch TV on, and stick them in our pocket afterwards.
I like looking back at my life. All the way back to my very earliest memories. I get the warm fuzzies when I do, but I get very excited at the thought of all the new and fantastic changes that are coming still in my lifetime, with the explosion of technology, and advances in manufacturing, and science and medicine. There is a lot to look forward to.
I just have to take better care of myself in the mean time.
That's one of my resolutions.
I think 2017 is going to be an awesome year, and I hope that's the case for everyone.
Grab hold of the new year and have a happy day everyone.
joe
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