Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
GEORGE ELIOT
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What would it be like if men were put in charge of organizing weddings?There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" until the cops showed up.
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not.
Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.
June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.
Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man".
There would be "Tailgate Receptions".
Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.
Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really do add up.
Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub, tavern or donut store.
Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.
The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her arse.
Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of b-b-q.
No one would bother with that "Veil Routine". But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding (what's the difference) or something.
Invitations would read as follows...
Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain...
He's getting married. He either:
A) Knocked her up
B) Couldn't get a different roommate or
C) Caved in to her ultimatum...
Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him. For the rest of his life at Soldier Field Stadium. On the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza.
Oh yeah... BYOB!
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Management Styles1. MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.
2. MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.
3. MANAGING BY POST-ITS Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-Its while you are talking.
4. MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY These managers just delegate everything to the secretary.
5. MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with irrelevant anecdotes.
6. MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them. They will always have something to talk about.
7. MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all.
8. MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they have more work to do.
9. MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.
10. MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.
11. MANAGING BY STUDYING Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.
12. MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.
13. MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.
14. MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.
15. MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.
16. BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS ) This management style is ATRASACWOC ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication ).
17. MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.
18. MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
19. MANAGING BY BELIEVING These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all.
20. MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is too low to remember.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Well I don't want to give you a lot of wordy evidence that I have nothing at all to say today....or on most days for that matter.
Just more dribble, about cold weather nipping at my nipples, and me going out and walking my dogs in it, then cleaning house, or buying groceries bla bla bla.
I did do my seven minute exercises twice today, except for the one exercise that's really hard on my shoulders. Especially my right one that I fell and separated at Lowe's.
Then I did separate exercises for my legs. Those stressed out my right ankle that I broke, so tomorrow I'll really be wishing I had a hot tub here.
Uh Oh! I'm being wordy.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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witter
Good Morning everyone. Coffee, tea, and hot chocolate are ready! 
