Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

SATCHEL PAIGE

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Man Perks

Being a man definitely has its perks...

1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a hoot if no one notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

36. Christmas shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 15 minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

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Man Translations

"I can't find it," REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to explain," REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately," REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late," REALLY MEANS, "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard," REALLY MEANS, "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear," REALLY MEANS, "Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love," REALLY MEANS, "I forgot our anniversary again."

"It's really a good movie," REALLY MEANS, "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked women."

"You know how bad my memory is," REALLY MEANS, "I remember the words to the theme song of "F Troop", the address of the first girl I kissed, the Vehicle Identification Number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses," REALLY MEANS, "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe, wearing a thong."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself. It's no big deal," REALLY MEANS, "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house," REALLY MEANS, "I once threw a dirty towel near the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing," REALLY MEANS, "I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"You really look terrific in that outfit," REALLY MEANS, "Please don't try on another outfit. I'm starving."

"I brought you a present," REALLY MEANS, "It was free ice scraper night at the ball/hockey game."

"I missed you," REALLY MEANS, "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are," REALLY MEANS, "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework," REALLY MEANS, "I make the messes. She cleans them up."

"I don't need to read the instructions," REALLY MEANS, "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

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Good morning everyboomie.


IT'S FRIDAY!!


I've been waiting all week for the weekend.


There's only 4 ball games this weekend, and the Cowboys ain't in any of them.


At least we'll find out who they'll play in the next round.


I may be suicidal after the Super Bowl. Sooner if the Cowboys aren't in it.


I'm kidding.....


We've got a couple of days of sub freezing temps coming up.


I guess I'll just have to keep working on my body sculpting.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Bring on the weekend.

Today is the day the 3 kittens get neutered/spayed. They are happily in carriers. I managed to catch all 3 fairly easily at 5 pm Thursday. Getting them in the carriers was fun. Only on snagged sweatshirt and one claw gouge in my wrist. Not bad for the first effort to contain them. MOM however is outside crying her eyes out. She knows I did something. I'm trying to figure out whether to put the cages outside where she can see them, or to just let her panic until they are home. In at 7am am and back about 2pm I think. Mom will be frantic by then, but if I let them out or put them outside, it's wet out and I'm afraid they will get cold and wet. Oh well. Mom crying it is. She will hang around looking for them at least for a day I'm sure. Poor me, poor kittens, poor Mom. Hate days like this.

Joe, you are going to be ready for the Mr. Universe competition you keep this up!

SpaceQ, I'm ready too!

Sorta, couldn't you catch mom too maybe so they could be together? Thanks for taking them in.

Have a happy day all! James is coming this afternoon for the weekend.

Ana

Good morning,have all a happy Friday.

Good morning Haroula and all. Sorta you are a Blessing my Dear. I have another split shift today, and it's snowing. First one is light. Second one is more serious, that comes later in the day. I don't like to drive in it but I have to get to work.

Connie I could use some BB pancakes pleaseandthankyou.

Midgie

Good Morning Joe, Space, sorta, Ana, Haroula and everyone. It's snowing here. Looks beautiful but it is slippery! It should be over by 9AM. Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready. Hope you all have a stress free Friday!

Good morning everyone, have a Super TGIF. Some cold for Florida weather coming in late tonight. Dinner, karaoke, and dancing, at the VFW tonight. Danish, BB Pancakes, French Toast, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, happy Friday!

Ana, enjoy James for the weekend.

Sorta, poor Mom Kitty. She needs to be with them.

Space, have a great weekend.

Haroula, good day wishes.

Midgie, getting more snow then predicted here. Another storm tomorrow.

Gerry, coffee needed.

Connie, have a good time at the VFW tonight. Stay warm.

Happy Friday to all! Snowing here and more to come.

Good morning everybody.

Woke up this morning to SNOW!!!

What a surprise. I saw nothing in the forecast for it.

That doesn't mean it wasn't there.

I see that most everyone in the diner this morning has snow.

We barely got enough to cover the ground, and don't expect any more, so I'll enjoy this while it last.

I'll also enjoy a few more cups of coffee.

Have a safe day everyone.


joe

I don't have snow. I'm feeling left out. I do however cold. It's -1.

Ana I think the snow actually makes the cold more bearable.

You're doing a run tomorrow aren't you? You don't want snow for that.

I hope it warms up a bit for you though.

Missy is pretty interested in the snow. She's never seen it before. She's gone outside a couple of times, but didn't stay out long.


joe

I've been trying to catch the MOM cat for over a year. She's a wiley one. Can't get near her, she's fast, ignores all traps, etc. I've got to get a new plan, but so far I've been able to touch her twice while she ate and since then, she runs when I approach the feeding table. Smarty cat. Driving me nuts.

Kittens in at 7 am. I caught them at 5 last night. Saw my chance and took it. They stayed pretty quiet all night in the carriers which I put facing each other so they could see their litter mates. Worked well, UNTIL, I get to the place, did all the paperwork, and then they called my name. I set the carriers on the ground and the gal took the males in, leaving the female all alone in her carrier and she started howling. Ohhhhh! I told her they have always been together. Oh well. Hopefully this all works out. Pick them up at 1 pm and then nurse them for awhile until I can reunite them with Mom. I may just set the carriers outside so Mom can be near them. Might work. Day isn't too cold and no rain. Such a happy family with this group. After the neutering/spaying they may never come near me again, but time will tell. Took a long time to 'tame' the kittens to come to me and let me pick them up. Hope this doesn't undo all my work.

Sorta, You are a blessing to those kitties!

We have cold weather..woke up to the 30's. Supposed to be sleeting here and snowing up in North AL in a couple of hours. Good day to stay inside.

Ana it is cold here too.

Hi looney.

Hi ya Space, you staying "in by the fire?"

Kittens HOME. All with 'tonsils' out. Picked them up at 1 pm as instructed and was told to keep them caged for 24 hours and the 'collar of shame' on the female for 7 days. So the minute I took the carriers out of the car, MOM was right there meowing and getting howls back from 2 of them.

I took them inside as instructed and watched and waited and finally took off the collar of shame and the 'incision' is this tiny dip that looks like a belly button. Wow. SHE was hesitant to let me touch her, but anxious to not be in the cage. The boys were looking at me with big eyes, huge pupils. I thought it was the stuff they put them to sleep with, but it turned out to be just the darkness in my laundry room. THIS I determined when the 'active' one, Tippy, looked at me in the cage and did his 'roll over on the back trick'. THEN I knew I didn't have to worry. He was ready to go back to nature. So I let them out one by one, they made a beeline for the feeding table and woolfed down food and rubbed on Mom and then.... yeah, they ALL went right to the toys (shoelaces that I drag around and they chase) and were jumping and playing just like normal. Nice. I won't worry about them. AND they don't hate me. Hooray. 2 of them actually came right back to me to get rubbed.

Good day, I shouldn't have worried so much, but I can't help it. Poor little guys and all that Mom missing them stuff. Got to me. Now the 'family' is reunited. Awesome!

WooHoo, glad they are all fine. Good job, Sorta

Hi looney.

No fire but I do have my blankie.

Hard to beat a good blankie

Edit: It's snowing 10 miles from here...think I'll go turn on the heater...

Time to go watch Emerald City and huddle and cuddle.....Sweet dreams all

Good night Boomers.

Sweet dreams all...

Sorta, will the mom come in if you let her? Thank you for getting them fixed.