Time ripens all things; no man is born wise.

MIGUEL DE CERVANTES

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Redneck Medical Terms

Rednecks seem to have a slightly different view of medical term definitions than the rest of us, lets have a look at a few...

Artery = The study of painting

Bacteria = The back door of the cafeteria

Barium = What doctors do when the patients die

Caesarean Section = A neighborhood in Rome

Cat Scan = Looking for Socks

Cauterize = Made eye contact with her

Dilate = Live long

Hangnail = Coathook

Impotent = Distingquished and well known

Labor Pain = Getting hurt at work

Morbid = A higher offer

Nitrates = Cheaper than day rates

Node = Was aware of

Papsmear = A paternity test

Pelvis = A cousin to Elvis

Postoperative = Mail carrier

Recovery Room = A place to do upholstery

Seizure = A Roman emperor

Terminal Illness = Getting sick at the airport

Tumor = An additional pair

Urine = Opposite of you're out

Varicose = Nearby

Vein =Conceited

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Reasons To Be Single

Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.

I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.

I could leave the toilet seat in any position I [blip] well please.

I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".

I'd be painting the town instead of the house.

When I get home after work, I don't have to start work again.

I could show my girlfriend where I live.

I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.

The only weeds I'd be concerned with are the ones I'm rolling.

I would have saved $372,416.21 in groceries by now.

I wouldn't catch so much grief about those skid-marks in my underwear!

I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.

I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.

You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week!

Going to a strip club doesn't have to be a covert mission.

Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws.

I wouldn't have to watch sub-titled French films.

I could home drunk to sleep, instead of under a bridge.

I could use my own name at hotels.

I wouldn't have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.

When asked his opinion, a single guy can say "Hell yes, you're fat!".

```````````````

Rejected Cereals

Cereal companies have been working hard to come up with new exciting breakfast cereals we can all shove down our pie holes in the morning, here are some of their less successful concepts that got rejected...

Toxic Waste Puffs

Beerios

Kevorkian Krispies

Honeymoon Nuts

Chernobyl Charms

Eboli-O's

Cap'n Crack

Kellogg's Ganja Puffs

Lucky Tabs O' Acid

Colostomy Crunch

Phil Graham Crackers

Fruit & Fabio

Look Again -- Them Ain't Raisins

Post-Modern Toasties and Rococo Puffs

Limbaugh Logs

Kellogg's "None of Your damm Business"

Special AK47

UnaBran

CaCa Puffs

`````````````````

Good morning everyboomie!


I didn't have a bowel movement today. Is that a bad thing??


Well...Super Bowl Sunday has finally arrived.


I was looking at the TV schedule, and they're are 8 1/2 hours of football programs and pre-game shows leading up to the 3 1/2 hour game, which doesn't start till 5:30.


I expect a good game though.


This IS Sunday right?


Actually it's Saturday night, and I have a calendar on my computer.


Come on joe. Get it together.


Have a super day everyone.


joe

Enjoy your Super Sunday.

Joe, James went for you, it's ok.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday everyone! Who are you routing for? I'd rather watch the Puppy Bowl!

Wow! I think I missed two whole days of Diner. Geez. I've been working so hard on finishing my fence I've forgotten everything else. Didn't even watch my favorite Soap Operas.

All but ONE small panel (yet to be built) is remaining in the fence. Then the cleanup of everything. Dirt, plants to re-plant that got uprooted to allow for the fence. Yard is full of piles of 'stuff' Going to be a day's job to get it all gone.

Saturday noonish, I was dragging a huge limb that fell during our storms to get it out of the way. I had a hold on the top little branches and was pulling backwards when...the tiny branches broke off. Yeah, I fell backwards onto the ground, one knee folded under me with a 'crunch' and my head hit the ground hard. Thank goodness it missed the CEMENT blocks that I fell on. I have stepping stones all over the area and thank goodness my head missed them. Whomp! Hurt for a minute or two and a slight dizziness. Still have a tiny headache but nothing serious. AND that knee that folded up and went 'crack' when I hit doesn't hurt. How strange. I have awful knees and I was sure that would be a really big deal. Nothing. Maybe tomorrow will be different.

Still can't believe we are almost done with the 87 feet of 6 foot high fence. Took out ALL of the neighbor's old rotted fence. Wasn't going to, but eventually, it was the best thing to do. He can decide what to do with all the broken pieces which I piled neatly in his yard. Gotta be a good neighbor and I think he likes the new fence as much as I do. Even if he sells the property, at least I have a 'buffer' there now. Can't see over it very well. Good for me.

Off to recouperate and wait for the pain to set in.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, Sorta and all. The game starts after 6PM so it will be a long night! I'm watching the kitten Bowl at 12 noon today! Sorta hope the knee is okay. Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a great day!

Good morning everyone, have a Super Sunday. Breakfast out and a BJ's trip today. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Ham, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, BB Pancakes, French Toast, and Muffins in the NC.

Time to start Super Sunday with a super breakfast. Ummm bacon.

Joe enjoy the long day of preliminary super bowl stuff and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

Sorta glad your head missed the stones and pray you feel fine today! Have a lovely day!

Ana have a lovely day!

Gerry enjoy the kitten bowl and thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the Danish and have a lovely day!


Nan

Nan

Super Sunday ya'll

So, who is Super Bowl watching today? We will be here cheering on the Falcons. I don't expect them to win, but it would be fun if they did.

Joe, those redneck terms were funny. Must say I don't understand the "cat scan" one though. Maybe I need more coffee, or more sleep.

Space, anything fun on the agenda today? Bacon

Ana, I love the puppy bowl. Puppies are never a bad thing!

Sorta, glad you missed the cement. Eeeeeek! Bravo on the new fence.

Gerry, Kitten bowl sounds fun too.

Connie, enjoy you breakfast and shopping!

Nan, what's up for you today?

I think Socks is the Clinton's kitty L4L

Good morning Diner Gang

Sip n' Surf, Gardening and lots of Whale Music for me today...

Happy SuperBowl Sunday to you and yours!

Good morning to folks on the West coast, and howdy to everyone else.

Baby steps......

I just ran for 3 miles on my treadmill, and I'm about to pass out. I can't EVEN IMAGINE running almost 10 times that amount.......yet. UGH!

You guys are my support group ok(?) although in my mind, there was a whole stadium of fans cheering "GO JOE, YOU CAN DO IT!"

....and one person yelling "IF YOU STOP JOE, I"LL BEAT YOUR A--!"


It's still overcast here, but today is warm....63 today....77 tomorrow.

What does a groundhog know?

I haven't watched any Superbowl warm up shows yet. Dallas ain't in it so that stuff doesn't interest me as much, just the Superbowl itself.

I've been watching Secretariat, and now I need to take my dogies to the park......if I can walk that is.

I hope you guys all have a nice Sunday.


joe

Just watching the game looney.

Go, Joe, Go! Run 3 miles for me.

Space, I think we are going to play some games with the g'kids and then watch the game. We are a house of plague with all the adults icky so no one is feeling too frisky.

I hope everyone feels better soon looney.

Hi All. Well, I'm off to work again. Luckily Mike will be watching the Super bowl so I can watch it over there. See ya.

Midgie

I hope everybody has a fantastic Super sip and Surf Super Bowl Sunday including kiddies too.

Me too, Space

Midgy, glad you will be able to watch at work. Wish you could be watching at home with your feet up.

Thanks, Tainted, you too

The FENCE is DONE! 11 days and finally finished except for picking up piles of vegetation and dirt. Still not sure what to do with the dirt as my 'compost' pile is long gone. Too awesome to throw away, so I'll have to find a nice place to pile all that soft, wonderful dirt for use later.

Rearranged some of my plants that were in barrels and gained a neater back yard. The fence really looks nice. A few months down the line, after some more rain, and we can readjust and tighten some of the bolts. Right now, the 'panels' are in not perfect positions, but after some settling they will be fine.

Watching the KITTEN Bowl. It's better than the Super Bowl.

Wooo, Hoooo, Sorta, well done

Congrats Sorta.

new englannd won 34 to 28 falcons.

Good night Boomers.