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Sip and Surf Sunday #1100535
02/11/17 10:43 PM
02/11/17 10:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.

JÁNOS ARANY


Anyone happen to know Kate Beckinsale's number. joy2

`````````````````

Sister Logical

Two nuns went out of their convent to sell cookies. One is known as Sister Mathematical and the other as Sister Logical. It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.


Sister Logical: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?

Sister Mathematical: Yes, I wonder what he wants.

Sister Logical: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

Sister Mathematical: It's not working.

Sister Logical: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

Sister Mathematical: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

Sister Logical: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go the this way. He cannot follows us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then, Sister Logical arrives.

Sister Mathematical: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

Sister Mathematical: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

Sister Mathematical: And?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, dear! What did you do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! What happened then?

Sister Logical: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

```````````````````

Skiing Exercises

The ski season is finally here. This list of exercises will help you get ready..
.

- Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.

- Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.

- Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.

- If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.

- Throw away a hundred dollar bill - RIGHT NOW!

- Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically
drop things.

- Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.

- Buy a new pair of gloves and IMMEDIATELY THROW ONE AWAY!

- Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.

- Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.

- Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket, get on a motorcycle and ride fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

- Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.

- Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip onto your clothes.

- Slam your thumb in a car door and don't bother to go see a doctor.

* Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until you're ready for the real thing!

``````````````````

Small Towns

The US is full of small towns. For those never having traveled to or lived in one, the following will illustrate pretty much what life's like there.

My hometown was so small...


...the clinic was called Joe's Hospital and Grill

...long distance calls are delayed when the area code is busy

...the town Lady of the Evening stands under a flashlight

...in order to paint traffic lines, the road had to be widened

...instead of hoses, the Fire Department uses water pistols

...you had to make a reservation to use the parking meter

...during snowstorms, salt was spread using a salad shooter

...the local Motel 6 sleeps six

...during a boxing match, both men have to sit in the same corner

...the class valedictorian had both the highest & lowest averages

...the Mayor was also the Sheriff, Town Council & street sweeper

...we had no porn movie house; once a week someone left the shades up

...the municipal water system's pump was supplied by Water Pik

...before you visited, you could look out a window & see who was home

...there was no town idiot -- everybody had to take turns

````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I had a busy day today. I ran all the way, to Montego Bay. In my mind as they say. razz


I did run my treadmill run, ran to Lowe's, and ran the dogs to the park. lab


Later on I walked them around the block. woot


I think the dogs enjoyed the trip to Lowe's the most. I took them in, and they got a lot of attention. puppy


They sit in the cart, and put on their cute puppy act, with their big puppy dog eyes, and then tell everyone how much I neglect them. rolleyes


I'm putting them up for adoption tomorrow. taz


Have a happy day everyone.


joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 02/11/17 10:44 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100538
02/11/17 11:01 PM
02/11/17 11:01 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
See you tomorrow. Time to dream of bacon. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100546
02/12/17 12:47 AM
02/12/17 12:47 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! I am sure your pup believe you as much as mine believe me when I say that! What ever do we do without them? puppy

SpaceQ, now I want bacon!

Have a happy day all! I will be heading to Chicago to take some photos.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100556
02/12/17 06:17 AM
02/12/17 06:17 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
hamster Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana and all. Coffee and tea are ready. Have a great day! hamster


Gerry
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100566
02/12/17 09:03 AM
02/12/17 09:03 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Sunday. Going to a friend's Temple later today to listen to her choir sing. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Ham, Sausage, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Biscuits and Gravy, French Toast, Waffles, and Toast in the NC. lab


Connie
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: connie] #1100569
02/12/17 09:38 AM
02/12/17 09:38 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning Boomers. I hope you get some good photos Ana. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100576
02/12/17 10:03 AM
02/12/17 10:03 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers penguin

Joe, enjoy the day!

Ana, have a great day in Chicago.

Space, good day wishes.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie, enjoy the choir.

Wishing everyone a good day! Well, here we go again. Blizzard warnings. Maybe another 14 inches? eek12 Church canceled so we'll be home for the day. winter winter


Gail
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100594
02/12/17 11:36 AM
02/12/17 11:36 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Sunday ya'll puppy

It's hot...was over 70 in the shade when I got up a few minutes ago.

Son is sick and coughing, coughing, coughing. I'm trying to dodge the germ bullet again. I might spend part of the day cleaning my dvr..tis a tad full. We wanted to go see the new Lego Batman movie, but I really don't think son is capable of sitting through a movie right now. We'll see when he comes out of his bedroom.

Tainted, other than the cleaning part, it sounds like a great day wink

Joe, I didn't know you could takes dogs into Lowe's. Of course they get all the attention. It's their due! lab

Space, I cannot think of anything better to dream of whistle

Have fun, Ana. Anything special or just feeling the artistic need?

Gerry, you have a great day too.

Connie, dibs on the biscuit bottoms.

Holy moly, Gail. Stay warm!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100597
02/12/17 12:21 PM
02/12/17 12:21 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe good for you and all the running!!! lol Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!

Space enjoy your Sunday and have a lovely day!

Ana safe travel into Chicago and happy picture taking!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie are you near the Winter White House??? Enjoy the choir and have a lovely day!

Gail scared More snow??? Stay safe and take it easy removing all that snow. Have a lovely day!

L4l prayers that you can dodge the son's cough! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: auntiegram] #1100598
02/12/17 12:34 PM
02/12/17 12:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
The rain has stopped and it is time to walk the doggie. lab


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100604
02/12/17 01:41 PM
02/12/17 01:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
laugh Good morning Diner Gang

Yes it is Joe...all day long...sip n' surf while listening to my whale music, there's always some gardening to take care of...more music and yes, even some chores and projects round the house as they never stop lol

Have fun walking the dog SQF, that's such a mindful experience that we totally enjoy too

Hope you have a wonderful day Nan

Oh my Gail, maybe this will be winter's last gasp?

Oh yeah Gerry and Connie thanks for the morning treats and have a great day

Woo Hoo Ana ... can't wait to see your photo's...drive safe

Happy Sunday to all of you wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: soot] #1100620
02/12/17 04:06 PM
02/12/17 04:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks soot. Doggie time is my favorite.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100636
02/12/17 08:06 PM
02/12/17 08:06 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
any pet time is good for me - wish i was allowed more than one.

who wants wind ? we've got plenty to spare ! hoping we don't lose

power.

had the heat on this morning.it was cold inside when i got up ,partly

because i shut the system off last night at bedtime.

yesterday i had the ac on crazy

hope you're all having a great day , no matter what you're doing !

wave2

Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: niteowl07] #1100639
02/12/17 09:00 PM
02/12/17 09:00 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100641
02/12/17 09:24 PM
02/12/17 09:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Boys just left. I'm off to the bath tub. Son sounds like he is dying. I keep telling him to go to the doctor, but as he doesn't have insurance, he keeps ignoring me sad

Niteowl, I hate wind. You can keep it, thanks for offering though.

Sweet dreams, Space.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1100651
02/12/17 11:54 PM
02/12/17 11:54 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
I feel your pain with your son, L4L. Mine doesn't have insurance either. I hope he feels better soon. You can go to a CVS or WAlgreens clinic for not much money.

Just got home from a very long day. We helped Peter move and it got way late.

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
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