Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
JIM ROHN
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Software Developers
It's strange, after being a user of computer software for a while, you begin to pick up on some disturbing similarities to a not so squeaky clean industry out there. Is this telling us something?Drug Dealers
Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"
Strange Jargon : "Stick", "Rock",
"Dime Bag", "E"
Realized that there's tons of cash
in the 14 to 25 year old market.
Job is assisted by the industries
producing newer, more potent mixes.
Often seen in the company of pimps
and hustlers.
Their product causes unhealthy
additions.
Do your job well, and you can sleep
with sexy movie stars who depend
on you.
Software DevelopersRefer to their clients as "users".
"Download a free trail version..."
Strange Jargon : "SCSI", "RTFM",
"Java", "ISDN", "Pentium"
Realize that there's tons of cash
in the 14 to 25 year old market.
Job is assisted by industry's producing
newer, faster machines.
Often seen in the company of marketing
people and venture capitalists.
Doom, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem,
'nuff said!
[blip]! [blip]! [blip]!!!
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Southern Terms
Southern Medical TermsBenign......................... What you be, after you be eight.
Artery......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die.
Caesarean Section............... A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
Coma........................... A punctuation mark.
D&C............................ Where Washington is.
Dilate......................... To live long.
Enema.......................... Not a friend.
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................... A small lie.
G.I. Series.................... World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail....................... What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................... Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................... A higher offer.
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................... I knew it.
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................... A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative................. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................... Pretty near killed him.
Secretion...................... Hiding something.
Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
Tablet......................... A small table.
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour.......................... One plus one more.
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out.
Varicose....................... Near by/close by
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Stages Of Life
The Male Stages Of Life AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 vodka
35 scotch
48 double scotch
66 Maalox
SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fianc�e is away for the weekend.
48 My wife is away for the weekend.
66 My second wife is dead.
FAVORITE SPORT
17 sex
25 sex
35 sex
48 sex
66 napping
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "tongue"
25 "breakfast"
35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 "Got home alive."
FAVORITE FANTASY
17 getting to third
25 airplane sex
35 menage a trois
48 taking the company public
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
HOUSE PET
17 roaches
25 stoned-out college roommate
35 German Shepherd
48 children from his first marriage
66 Barbi
WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17
The Female Stages Of Life AGE DRINK
17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17 Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to colour my hair
48 Need to have Francois colour my hair
66 Need to have Francois colour my wig
FAVORITE SPORT
17 shopping
25 shopping
35 shopping
48 shopping
66 shopping
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "Burger King"
25 "Free meal"
35 "A diamond"
48 "A bigger diamond"
66 "Home Alone"
FAVORITE FANTASY
17 tall, dark and handsome
25 tall, dark and handsome with money
35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 a man with hair
66 a man
HOUSE PET
17 Muffy the cat
25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35 German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat
WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66
IDEAL DATE
17 He offers to pay
25 He pays
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast
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Good morning everyboomie.
Come Monday it'll be alright.
I need Monday to recoup, cause Sunday was a real exercise in relaxation.
I didn't do much.
My dogs didn't like it. Grrrrr!
So I took them to the park. Not to Lowe's.
L4L Lowe's allows dogs in the store to boost sagging employee morale. Not really. They don't sell food, so they could allow dogs. Still, some people allowed their dogs make messes on the floor, and then ignored the mess, and walked off.
Now my dogs will never be allowed back in Lowe's....
Gotta go now, I have two awards shows to watch tonight.
I don't really like watching awards shows.
Then why are you watching two of them? ask the voices.
Boredom, nothing else on, plus the fact that I've really had trouble sleeping the last few nights........or even in the daytime for that matter.
I really miss my naps.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
rah rah
Life is just such a fun ride!
looney.