Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything.
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State Mottos
This is a list of what state mottos should really be...Alabama:
At Least We're not Mississippi
Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona:
Dehyd-rific!
Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California:
As Seen on TV
Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Delaware:
(this was left blank--does this mean Delaware is too small to have a
motto?)
Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia:
We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois:
Gateway to Iowa
Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa:
Land of James T. Kirk
Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky:
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana:
We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine:
Cheap Lobster
Maryland:
A Thinking Man's Delaware
Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan:
First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota:
For Sale
Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else
Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada:
Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire:
Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Jersey:
You Want a #$@%#!@ Motto? I Got Yer #$@%#!@ Motto Right Here!
New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota:
Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!
Ohio:
Don't Judge Us by Cleveland
Oklahoma:
Like the Play...Only No Singing
Oregon:
Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island:
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina:
Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee:
The Educashun State
Texas:
Se Hablo Ingles
Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont:
Yep
Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington:
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
Washington, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family -- Really!
Wisconsin:
Come Cut Our Cheese
Wyoming:
Wynot?
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Stupid People
Can people really be this stupid?1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
7. My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
8. Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Where exactly do I find Hell's bells, and what do they sound like?
Well, Hell's bells, I'm getting this diner out super early tonight, because I just might be going to bed early.
It may only mean I'll wake back up at midnight and saty up the rest of the night, but right now I feel pretty ragged out.
I went to Walmart this morning, and then took the dogs to the park in town.
I did a few exercises, but I didn't run my two miles.
I didn't try napping, because I want to be plenty tired when I do to bed.......as if that would be a problem.
Sorta I'm sorry to hear you have food poisoning. That's ruff. There a lot of flu going around right now too. I hope you're totally over it, and back to your old self now, or tomorrow.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good Morning Joe, space, Ana and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a Happy Valentine's Day! 
If all goes well I will be at 8-8-8 Panda tonight celebrating Valentine's Day with dinner, dancing, and karaoke. 
They are always happy to be your Valentine. 
Have a lovely day!
