What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
HENRY S. HASKINS
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Women's VocabularyFine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
Nothing - This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".
Go Ahead - (With Raised Eyebrows!) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
Go Ahead - (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
<Loud Sigh> - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
<Soft Sigh> - Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".
Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "You're welcome".
Thanks A Lot - This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".
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Women Timeline
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big breasts.
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Word DefinitionsAtom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Sunday Sunday. So good for me.
I hope it's that way for you all as well.
I got my couch and chair delivered early Saturday which was great, except that they came out with only the chair........
.......They had to run back to town for the couch they forgot.
I had to run back in to Walmart to get different covers for them, because I didn't care for the way the first ones I bought looked and worked.
I can't have my critters making a mess of my new furnishings.
Really the biggest threat is Pepper. She's a perpetual poop machine.
It really wasn't a good day to do much else. I took the dogs to the park. It was very windy.
I did some exercises. No running though.
I went into Lowe's today and my old boss was running on the treadmill for the benefit of MDA. Last year he ran 30 miles, and raised a lot of money.
I was talking to him, and he asked me if I was interested in coming back to work part time this Summer.
I told him I would certainly consider it. I miss it.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Good Morning joe, Space, Ana and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready. 
looney, you too.