When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
BOB MONKHOUSE
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Here are the Top 10 funny mistakes and bloopers by English Language Students, about love and romance, for Valentine’s Day.
(We all make a lot of mistakes learning a new language, and some are going to be a little humorous to native speakers of that language. For instance… )10. I fell in love with her the first time I sawed her.
9. He had such a worm heart.
8. We were two sheeps passing in the night.
7. We have hated each other for so long. I want to borrow the hatchet.
6. My dentist makes me blush twice a day.
5. I don’t know if he will propose, but I am expecting.
4. I have something exciting to tell you. My girlfriend and I got enraged last night!
3. The groom was wearing a very nice croissant.
2. He lifted the veal off her face and gave her a big kiss.
1. I think she is really glad she got marinated.
Some other innocent mistakes from new English from the pages of InnocentEnglish:Recipes: Next, chop all the vegetarians into little pieces.
Health: It is dangerous to smoke while you are becoming pregnant.
Sports: It was so exciting to watch! The cheerleaders threw up high into the air.
Politics: The President got off the plane and gave a big kiss to the first ladder.
Grammar: Should I have a coma in the middle of this sentence?
Music: When he was through singing he had a standing ovulation.
Food: Do you like this food? I made it from scratching!
Parents: My bed has three blankets and a large guilt my parents gave me.
Weather: Rain makes old cars lust. So be careful about that. Once a car starts lusting, there’s no way to stop it!
Travel: You can’t sleep with me because it is too crowded. But you can probably sleep with my sister. That’s what most of my friends do when they visit
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Funny student bloopers about schoolUnfortunately, the school board was forced to
cut fifteen percent off all teachers.
Every day I study hardly.
I have really good news.
I passed both my testes last week.
College is expensive.
But it can help you live a bitter life.
If I study really hard,
I will graduate in 2004 years.
I am studied hard in science class.
After four years of college I can finally attend grade school.
Such behavior will result in
immediately being exploded from the university.
My essay is in the American President.
The New Years potty was so boring.Only a few people sat around, only a few people danced and the food was not so fresh.
My earliest memory was in kindergarten
but I can’t remember what it was.
My major was tourism management.
I thought a tour guide would fit good on me.
After class we will all go out and drink Wisk until we are sick. Do you want to come?
My mother really didn’t want me to go away to college. She bought me special snakes so I wouldn’t live.
She what?
She bought me special snakes so I would not live.
Oh, do you mean she bought you special snacks so you would not leave?
Yes. Why are you smiling?
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Good morning everyboomie.
All day Monday I kept thinking it was Sunday.
I hope that doesn't mean this is Monday again.
Remember that attic insulation that I bought? This morning I went and got the blower from Lowe's, and my friend came out here, and I got to crawl through the attic playing in the insulation.
Talk about torture! I don't recommend that for anyone.
After taking the machine back, and a short trip to Walmart, I picked myself back up, and went home.
I took the girls, and Beau, to the park, and then took a drive over to the old creek, to check the level. It seems somebody flushed, and the creek is all wishy washy.
When I got back I did some exercises for the first time in 3 days.
I'm ready for bed.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Space and all.Joe you need a day of rest! Ana have a good one. Space enjoy your Tuesday. I'm off to the dentist today. Wish me luck. Coffee and tea are ready. 
looney. 
