MIA HAMM
Celebrate what you’ve accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed.
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It was bedtime for Little Ted and he insisted on taking his bicycle to bed with him.
His mother, a little surprised by the strange request, asked him why he wanted to do that.
Ted replied, "Mom, I don't want to walk in my sleep!"
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Little Johnny was riding his bicycle on the pavement when he hit an old woman and knocked her down. Initially shaken, she regained her composure and got up. Visibly upset, she turned to Little Johnny and yelled, 'Don't you know how to ride a bicycle?'
'I do,' Little Johnny answered, 'but I haven't learned how to ring the bell yet.'
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Little Johnny was riding his bicycle on the pavement when he hit an old woman and knocked her down. Initially shaken, she regained her composure and got up. Visibly upset, she turned to Little Johnny and yelled, 'Don't you know how to ride a bicycle?'
'I do,' Little Johnny answered, 'but I haven't learned how to ring the bell yet.'
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The story of the day in the first grade was the Three Little Pigs. Mrs. Taylor, the teacher was reading out the story when she came to the part where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
She said, "And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?' "
Then Mrs. Taylor had a question for the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know the answer... . . . . 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!!' "
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The History teacher had just finished a chapter on World War I.
She asked the class, "How many of you are against war?"
A number of hands shot up. The teacher said, "Ok, Little Johnny, you tell us, why are you not in favor of war?"
"I hate war, miss." Little Johnny said, "That's because wars end up making history, and history is my least favorite subject."
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The math teacher saw that Daphne wasn't paying attention in class. She called on her and said, 'Daphne! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Daphne quickly replied, 'ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!'
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My brother, John, and his wife, Rebecca, had just finished tucking their children into bed when they heard crying sounds coming from the kids' room. They rushed into the room and found little Suzie crying hysterically.
She had accidentally swallowed a 5p piece and believed she was going to die. No amount of convincing would console her. Trying to calm her, John took out a 5p coin that he had in his pocket and pretended to remove it from Suzie's ear. Suzie was delighted beyond words and in a flash, snatched the coin from her father's hand, swallowed it and insisted cheerfully - 'Do it again, Dad!'
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A little boy goes up to Old Tom the gardener and says, ‘What do you put on your rhubarb?’
‘Well, usually rotted horse manure,’ replies Old Ned.
‘We have custard.’ says the little boy.
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Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."
"That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her u are the only child?"
"She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"
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A small boy is helping his grandfather dig up potatoes.
‘What I want to know,’ he says, ‘is why you buried them in the first place.’
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Jack:"There is something I can do that nobody else in my school can do. Not even teachers!"
Rob: "What's that?"
Jack: "Read my handwriting"
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Little Sonia was looking intently at her mother.
Mother: “What’s the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Sonia: “Some of your hair are white mom.”
Mother: “That’s right. Whenever you make a mischief, one of my hairs turns white. That’s how some have become white.”
Sonia was thoughtful: “Are all of grandma’s hair white due to the same reason?”
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Good morning everyboomie.
Thanks for the kind words regarding my flower bed. As I said, I'm not a gardener, but I am glad you like it.
And then there was this:
New carport ................
Really happy to have shelter for my truck now.
Today was my first day back at Lowe's, and what a welcome!
I even had one customer tell me he was glad to see me back. That's the best feeling.
One full time kid, and one part-timer in Inside Lawn and Garden, separately asked me what department I work in, and when I told them, "This one", they almost had tears in their eyes.
They are REALLY short handed.
Wait till they get to know me. Then they'll really have tears.
As the Joker would say, "Wait'll they get a load of me."
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good morning Joe, MaG, Ana and everyone. Nice carport Joe. Hi MaG. and Ana. Coffee and tea are ready. Have a great day Boomers! 
It's still raining here. Who's hogging the sun? Please send it my way. I'm very tired of the rain. Joe what a nice carport. Thanks for sharing. I have a doctor's appointment this morning. Then I have the rest of the day off. 
