ALBERT EINSTEIN
Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.
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Peter was walking down 35th Street in New York city when he was approached by a woman with a clipboard.
"Good morning, sir," she said. Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?"
"Just a few minutes?" Peter asked.
"Just a few minutes," the woman replied.
"Okay," Peter said, "But we're not going to get much done."
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Two girls were sitting in a coffee shop.
First: “My boyfriend, poor soul……lost everything in business.”
Second: “Good lord, you must be worried.”
First: “Oh yes, I keep worrying....after my marriage who is he going to confide in and share his sorrows with!"
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Top 10 Lies Told By A Graduate Student
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.
2. My job prospects look really good.
3. The department is giving me so much support.
4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/article.
10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.
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Christopher Columbus was the best deal maker in history. He left not knowing where he was going, and upon arriving, not knowing where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on borrowed money.
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Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work.
They are called 'Spec Taters'.
Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work.
They are called 'Comment Taters'.
Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands.
They are called 'Dick Taters'.
Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet.
They are called 'Aggie Taters'.
There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help.
They are called 'Hezzie Taters'.
Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not.
They are called 'Immy Taters'.
Then there are those who love others and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others.
They are called 'Sweet Po Taters'.
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Jacob says to his wife Geena, "Isn't today a fine day?"
Geena replies, "Yes, it is."
The next day, Jacob says to Geena again, "Isn't today a fine day?"
Geena reples, "It is, dear."
The next day Jacob asks the same thing to Geena. This goes on for a week till Geena can't take it any more and asks Jacob, "What's wrong with you, darling? I know the weather is good but why do you keep asking if its a fine day?"
Jacob shoots back, "Remember we quarreled last week and you had said you are going to leave me one fine day. well, all I was doing is remind you!"
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Dean was involved in a car accident. He was driving his car with his pet alongside him on the highway when a truck hit him from behind. The impact was severe. Dean was thrown out of his car on one side whereas his dog on the other. Both were badly injured. Dean sued the truck company and the truck company’s lawyer was cross examining him.
Lawyer: “Dean, didn’t you say to the cop that you were alright at the time of the accident?”
Dean: “It was like this. First I put my dog on the passenger seat…and…..”
The lawyer interrupted: “Yes or no? Did you or did you not say you were OK?”
Dean tried to continue: “After putting my pet in the seat, I started the car and reached the highway……”
Lawyer: “Your honor, this fellow is wasting the court’s time. Immediately after the accident when the cop asked him if he was alright, he said ‘I am alright’ and now he is claiming damages from my client. I have the cop here to testify.”
The judge said: “I love dogs myself. I would like to hear what Mr. Dean has to say, please proceed.”
Dean: “Thank you, your honor. It happened like this. I put my beloved pet in the side seat and drove my car on the highway. This truck came from behind and hit my car real bad. I was thrown out of my car and severely hurt. My pet was thrown out from the other side. He too was badly injured. He was groaning and in real bad shape. Thereafter this cop came on the site. He saw my dear dog groan and twist in pain. He commented that the dog’s condition was severe, pulled his gun and put him to sleep to ease him from the pain.
Next thing, he came to me with his gun pointing at me and asked "Are you alright? What was I supposed to say, your honor?”
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Dean and Martin were sitting in a bar nursing their respective poisons. Dean appeared to be depressed. Martin asked the reason.
Dean said, “Sometimes I really don’t understand how my wife and I ended up getting married.”
Martin said, “Huh, what’s bothering you?”
Dean went on, “My wife swore to God she would never marry me when I was drunk and I would never even dream of marrying her when I was sober.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
How is everyone? Are you ready for a new week?
I guess if you dig up a whole mountain of dirt, you'll eventually find an arrowhead.
I went out to the patch and dug around all day and only came home with one measly little broken, rough point, and two tips.
They're even harvesting sod from the back area on the side that has all the artifacts, and it got a real good rain washing last night, but I only found the two tips while looking over that area.
Also it was cold. It was in the 40s when I left, and eventually climbed up to 60, but the wind blew 30 to 40 mph all day. It's still blowing gale force now.
It all wore me down, but there's a bright spot in the night. There's always tomorrow.
Of course tomorrow, I have other chores I have to get taken care of, so I probably will not be going head hunting then.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Good Morning Joe, Ana and everyone. Joe hope you have better luck next time. Ana hope you see the sun shine! Coffee and tea are ready.
Sweet dreams!