ROBERT COLLIER
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
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The children of two movie actresses were talking.
Tina: “Somebody told me you have a new father, how is he?”
Rita: “Really nice. Come to my place, you can meet him. I am sure you will like him.”
Tina: “I have already met him. Last year, he was my father.”
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Warning Signs that you are spending to much time Online
# Tech Support calls "YOU" for queries.
#. When an office colleague shares a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.
# You discover yourself trying to [blip] your head 90 degrees when you smile.
# You like to have your lunch in front of the computer.
# Your children are used to eating cereal in all their meals.
# When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "screaming" at you.
# When at work, your senior frequently reminds you that the word "i" should be capitalized.
# You barely notice anymore when someone has a typo.
# You discontinue talking in full sentences.
# You fail to type with proper capitalization or punctuation.
# You have formed the habit of double clicking your TV remote.
# You dream in codes.
# You have an identity crisis when you learn of someone using a screen name close to your own.
# You are confused as to who you are, having changed your screen names so many times.
# You say "Scroll up" when a friend asks, "What did you say?"
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Bob had just finished his course in journalism and joined a newspaper agency. His boss sent him out on field to get some exciting news. At one place, he saw a mob gathered in a tight circle. He learnt that there was a fatal accident. Bob tried to get inside the circle but could not. He had a bright idea and shouted: “Move over, move over, I am related to the victim.”
Immediately, the crowd made space for him. Pleased with his own quick wit, Bob proceeded and reached the spot and guess what?
He saw a donkey lying dead.
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On her way back from the concession stand, Julie asked a man at the end of the row, "Pardon me, but did I step on your foot a few minutes ago?"
Expecting an apology, the man said, "Indeed you did."
Julie nodded, and noted, "Oh good. Then this is my row."
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The Library of Congress has collaborated with Twitter to store every tweet ever posted in their archive of historical documents. Now you know why Congress is so busy.
The Library of Congress is home to some of the most important documents in history including the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and now it will also include tweets from Razorasher, who loves to share his homemade marshmallow recipe.
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A village was facing a problem of speeding cars resulting in accidents every now and then.
The local council could not afford a speed camera, so they put up a sign saying:
Slow down Old People's Home. It had no effect.
At the next meeting, it was decided to work on the paternal instincts and put up a sign:
Danger - Children at Play.
No discernible reduction in traffic speed.
Then the chairman had a brain-wave and suggested they try a sign with:
Cloth-less Colony.
As a result of the notice, white vans and lorries crawl throughout the village now.
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I was traveling with my wife in Kanyakumari, India, one of the windiest places on Earth. Braving our way through the crosswind, we made our way to the tollbooth where I asked a bespectacled attendant, "What do you guys do in Kanyakumari when the wind quits?"
Adjusting his rims, the guy answered, "We take the rocks out of our pockets."
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What could be the extent of your jealously?
I know of a woman who was so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hair on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
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The chocolate rules
- If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
– Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
– The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the shop in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the car park.
– Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take the edge off your appetite and you will eat less.
– A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
– If you cant eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you?
– If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
– Money talks. Chocolate sings.
- Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
- If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top tights. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
– Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
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Good morning everyboomie.
I hope everyone is looking forward to a great Tuesday.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but after Tuesday I work 5 days in a row.
I'm gonna try and get that changed to 4 days, but at least it will give me a chance to get a lot accomplished in my department.
So, Tuesday I'm going to do a little trekking in search of some more artifact sites.
I may have a new place to search close to the sod farm.
Today I went to the park in town, bought groceries, mowed the lawn, and exercised.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
But they love you and need you! 
Good Morning Joe, Ana, and everyone. Joe good luck today! Ana hope your weather has improved! Coffee and tea are ready.
