Mark Cuban
Sweat equity is the most valuable equity there is.
`````````````````
Jany was reading a story from a book to her daughter. The daughter interrupted: “Mom, why does every story start with ‘Once upon a time’? Isn’t there any other line?”
Mom: “Sure there is. There's another line which begins like ‘Dear, there is a meeting in the office and I will be late.....’”
`````````````
The town's bank manager called the police station to report a robbery.
'You'll never believe what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my bank, the doors opened. Out comes these robbers and they lead an elephant out of the truck. The elephant then breaks through my plate glass window, sticks his trunk in, sucks up all the money. Then the gang lead the elephant back into the truck. The robbers close the truck doors and the truck pulled away.'
The desk sergeant said, 'Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an African elephant or an Indian elephant?'
'How can you tell the difference?' asked the bank manager.
'Well,' said the sergeant, 'The African elephant has great big ears whereas the Indian elephant has little ears. So which kind of elephant was used in the robbery?'
'How should I know? I couldn't see his ears,' said the bank manager. 'He had a stocking over his head.'
````````````
Husband returned from office and wife drew a breath of relief: “Thank lord. Good that you are safe and sound.”
Husband: “Why, what’s wrong?”
Wife: “A few persons were talking near our window that a dumb looking man got crushed under a car.”
```````````````
Hilarious Book Titles
1) Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself (A book for woodworkers)
2) Knitting with Dog Hair
3) Wood Carving with a Chain Saw
4) Drying Flowers With A Microwave
5) Nuclear War: What's In It For You?
6) How Green were the Nazis?
7) Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them
8) How to Avoid Huge Ships
9) Bomb Proof Your House
10)Waterproofing Your Child
`````````````
Rita noticed that her friend, Julie, who was standing at a distance, was having a conversation with another friend. Judging by their gestures, Rita suspected that the conversation involved a secret.
When the other woman left, Rita walked up to Julie ans asked "What did she tell you?"
"Now you know I never repeat gossip," said Julie.
"All right," Rita sighed.
Immediately, Julie whispered, "So listen carefully the first time!"
````````````
All my life, I have struggled to break free from each of the four food groups:
the chocolate group,
the fried snack group,
the caffeine group,
and the whatever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is group.
````````````
Lisa checked in at the Gates of Heaven and requested to join her former husband, Watson Woods.
Saint Peter said, "We have a million Watson Woods. Give us a little hint."
Lisa said, "My Watson is handsome, has a mole on his cheek, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he would turn over in his grave."
Saint Peter instructed an angel, "Take her to Whirling Watson!"
``````````````````
Minister Reeves was waiting in line at the gas station to have his car filled. There were several cars ahead of him and though the attendant hurried with his job, it took quite some time before it was minister's turn to get his car refueled.
The attendant, while motioning him toward a vacant pump, said, "Reverend, sorry for the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
Minister Reeves laughed, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
````````````
Robert had invited his friend Sam for dinner. When Sam arrived, he was shivering from the cold.
The winter being treacherous, Sam commented, "It is really cold outside today."
Robert asked, "How cold is it?"
Sam replied, "It is colder than my mother-in-law's kiss!"
```````````````
John seemed to be upset, so his colleague Aaron asked what was bugging him.
John replied, "It's about my mother-in-law."
Aaron asked, "What is the problem?"
John said, "My wife has asked me to buy a present for my mother-in-law's birthday. Come on, it's her mother after all, why can't she buy it? Why does she always have to pass on the responsibility to me?"
"What did you buy her last year?" Aaron asked.
John said, "Last year I bought her a very costly cemetery plot."
"Ohh....hard to top that one," said Aaron.
John thought and thought but could not come up with anything. So, nothing was bought for his mother-in-law's birthday.
When the big day arrived, she was a little upset. At the family gathering for her birthday, she announced out loud to everyone, "Thank you all for coming and for the wonderful gifts. It's a shame my daughter and son-in-law weren't so thoughtful!"
John, retorted, "Well, the gift we gave you last year is still unused!"
`````````````````
Good morning everyboomie.
I'm having the strangest feeling of Déjà Vu.
Since 3:00 this morning, I've been up 16 hours. Any more and it'll be 17, wait a minute my calculator may be dead.
Work was work, but don't tell my feet. They're already about to fall off.
I did manage to talk my manager into managing to give me Saturday off. I told her if I didn't get Saturday off, I was getting in my wheel chair and leaving.
After stopping off at Walmart for my bi-weekly deposit, I came home to find two little mutts ready to climb all over me. THAT made the whole day worth it.
Now Missy is up to her her usual antics wanting to go outside, then in, then out, then in. I'm thinking of renaming her Mar's Curiosity Rover.
Baby, on the other hand......and won't get off of it. She's suffering from separation anxiety.
Tomorrow morning early I'm going to hit the sod farm links, and see how many points I can drive home with.
Have a happy day everyone.
Welcome to the weekend!
joe
acebook
witter
Joe ... I don't know how you do it ... but I am glad that you do it as the Diner is a high point of mine every day!
Have a great weekend Soot. 
Poor Baby! She misses you. 
Good Morning Joe, Space, soot, Ana and everyone. Sounds like a busy day Joe. Good Luck hunting! Space have nice weekend. Soot see you in the Garden! Ana have fun in the city. Coffee and tea are ready.
