We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.
WILLIAM EWART GLADSTONE
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Superb answers to "Why Aren't You Married Yet?"
You haven't asked yet.
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
Because I just love hearing this question.
Just lucky, I guess.
It gives my mother something to live for.
My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
It didn't seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Why aren't you thin?
I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
(Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
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New Year resolution
2005: I will get my weight down below 180.
2006: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2007: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2008: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2009: I will work out 5 days a week.
2010: I will work out 3 days a week.
2011: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
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Henpecked Husbands
* He comes right out and says what she tells him to Think.
* She does not have to raise the roof, all she has to do is raise an eyebrow.
* He always has the last word - he says, "I'm sorry".
* He was a man about town; she has turned him into a mouse around the house.
* The last big decision she let him make was whether to wash or to dry.
* He was a dude before marriage - now he is Subdued.
* He goes to a woman dentist - it's a relief to be told to open his mouth instead of to shut it.
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Ways to tell someone their fly is open.
11. I can see the gun of Navarone.
10. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
9. You've got Windows on your laptop.
8. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
7. Your soldier aint so unknown now.
6. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
5. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
4. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
3. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
1. I thought you were crazy, now I can clearly see your nuts.
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Women think they already know everything, but wait… training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears – The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
20. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You've Worn Before
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Good morning everybnoomie.
It truly is a magnificent Monday.
After 8 hours of walking around on that concrete floor, my feet are having second thoughts about going back to work.....and third thoughts, and fourth thoughts.
It's going to be a long Summer.
Magnificent Monday means the first of three days off, and boy howdy do I have a new appreciation for days off.
Not sure what I'll do. Everything needs cleaning, and I'm not sure where I want to start.
I think that Monday I'll start giving it some thought.
No need to be hasty.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good morning Joe, Ana and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready. 
