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Saturdiner #1110966
05/19/17 08:02 PM
05/19/17 08:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
WILLIAM HAZLITT

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.

`````````````````

Jan 30 - Day 68 of my confinement

These humans enjoy irritating me with strange little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill the humans by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile tormentors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time.

```````````````

Lawrence noticed this board on the gate of a house. “Talking dog for sale”

Intrigued, he knocked the door to inquire. The owner took Lawrence to the back of the house where a dog was casually sitting on the ground and left them alone.

Lawrence: “Is it true?”

Dog: “Sure.”

Lawrence: “So what’s behind all this? And why does he want to sell you?”

Dog: “I was born with this gift. My previous owner sold me to CBI and I helped them uncover biggest secrets because they let me loose on the job and nobody suspected that a dog could eves drop. But they made me travel a lot. So I left them and got myself employed with a minister who did not know my virtue. I discovered many scandals by this minister and informed the government. They gave me many awards for my services. I have aged now and finally I am leading a peaceful life with my family.”

Lawrence went back to the owner and asked the price. The owner said twelve dollars.

Lawrence paid the price without hesitation and asked: “This is a marvelous dog with amazing talent. Why do you want to get rid of him?”

Owner: "Because he talks, but he never tells the truth.”

`````````````````

There was mother unicorn and she had 3 baby unicorns. The first baby unicorn came and said "Mommy, why did you name me Daisy?"

The mother replied "Because the day you were born, a daisy fell right on your forehead."

She said "Ah that's sweet."

She kissed her on the cheek and left. The next baby unicorn comes in and she said "Mommy, why did you name Rose?"

The mother replied "Because the day you were born, a rose fell right on your forehead."

She said "Ah thats sweet." She kissed her on the forehead and walked away.

Then the third baby unicorn comes in and she was like "DERREDUBUDUBJEHDK" and the mom said, "Hush now Oak Tree and eat your dinner!"

```````````````````

The French will eat almost anything. A young cook, Jean Luc, decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city.

Jean Luc searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits. None could be found.

Finally, an old priest, Father Pierre, at the cathedral said he could have a small area behind the rectory for his rabbits. Jean Luc successfully raised a number of them, and when he went about Paris selling them.

One restaurant owner asked him where he got such fresh rabbits. Jean Luc replied with a smile, 'I raise them myself, near the cathedral. In fact, I have ... a hutch back of Notre Dame.'

```````````````````

George said to Fred, 'I put $20 on a horse last week and he came in at twenty five to one.',

'Wow! you must be loaded', said Fred.

'Not really' said George, 'the rest of the field came in at twelve thirty.'

``````````````

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."

``````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Welcome to the weekend, and my Saturday starts at 4:00am. Work at 6:00am. shocked


I honestly don't know if I'll make it through the whole day. When I got home today, I could barely walk on my right foot. My foot and ankle were throbbing when I got home. smirk


I may have to dial it back to 6 hour days if this keeps up. yes


On the other front, the detour worked. We did not get one drop of rain all night. It wemt North of us, and right on by. blech


The same thing happened this morning. More storms passed just to our North, barely missing us. mad


The same thing is happening tonight. They're all West of us and moving Northeast. taz


I didn't want any rain anyway. All it does is make everything wet. tantrum


Have a happy everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 05/19/17 08:04 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1110967
05/19/17 08:19 PM
05/19/17 08:19 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Sorry your feet hurt, Joe. Do you have to work a minimum set of hours? Hope you can relax tonight.

Have a happy day all! Dinner and game night with friends tonight. Much needed!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1110975
05/19/17 10:16 PM
05/19/17 10:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Keep your feet elevated tonight Joe!

Have fun Ana

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1110983
05/19/17 11:39 PM
05/19/17 11:39 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, I think your detour signs sent the storms here. eek lol Hope your feet feel better, and you get a chance to rest!

Have fun at dinner and with your game night, Ana! happydance

Have a terrific weekend, soot!

It's Friday night here, and I have to sign off soon. It's been storming off and on, so I should really turn off my computer and unplug it. Tomorrow, I'll have a chance to play some more games. yes

Have a great Saturday, everyone. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1110990
05/20/17 04:58 AM
05/20/17 04:58 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
spring Good Morning Joe, Ana, soot, venus and everyone. Joe hope the foot isn't sprained. Ana have fun tonight! Soot see you in the garden. Venus get some kitty time in too! Coffee and tea are ready.
Enjoy your day everyone! spring


Gerry
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1110997
05/20/17 07:37 AM
05/20/17 07:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers dragon

Joe, hope your foot feels better today.

Ana, enjoy the night with your friends.

Soot, happy weekend wishes.

Gerry, coffee and thank you.

Venus, careful with the storms.

Wishing everyone a great weekend. lab


Gail
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1110998
05/20/17 07:44 AM
05/20/17 07:44 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Saturday. Joe, I hope your foot is doing better today. Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke with friends tonight at 8-8 Panda. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1110999
05/20/17 07:48 AM
05/20/17 07:48 AM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Thanks Connie. Hungry this AM; so will get one of each.

Hi Joe and everyone! wave Enjoy the weekend; rainy or sunny wherever you are.

Re: Saturdiner [Re: MaG] #1111001
05/20/17 08:13 AM
05/20/17 08:13 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
I hope your foot gets better Joe. Loved the jokes today. lol

Have a great day Boomers. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111010
05/20/17 09:28 AM
05/20/17 09:28 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning all. I'm buried under mounds of boxes. I wish the move was over, then I can relax and unpack as slow as I want. The move date is May 31st. I still have a lot to do though. I need to get more larger boxes from the grocery store.

Joe I'm sending healing thoughts and wishes to help make your feet feel better. Connie thank you for my BB pancakes. You're an angel. What do you have for breakfast?
Hi MaG wavegirl
Time to get off this chair and get back to work. Have a wonderful day everyone.

Midgie hearts wavegirl


Just do it.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111030
05/20/17 11:55 AM
05/20/17 11:55 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Gonna be a scorcher today. Yesterday only up to 80ish after days and days of gloom and gray skies. Then it hits. HOT, dry, almost a Santa Ana at times and lots of extra guys on the 'fire line' protecting our areas. Already 3 fires close to homes but they got to them quickly and all is well so far. Just waiting for another

When the humidity dips into the teens and twentys (yep went down to 19 last night) then we get fires. My area is all built up, just some huge empty back lots all over, but the neighbors keep them mowed down. Not totally worried, but ya never know. House next door (I call him the hermit) is falling down, as is the huge barn and 2 other structures. He keeps the weeds down, but the buildings are dry, rotted, etc. If one of them goes up, we could have a problem. I'm on constant watch. Kids, transients, always something to keep an eye on.

But in better news, the kittens are doing well. Still can't get the white foot to come out from under the deck unless Mom is around and then when it hears or sees me within 20 feet, its back under the deck. Scaredy cat for sure. The other 2 (all black) are playing and come to me at feeding time. I can pick them up, pet, etc. Tiny little things even at almost 8 weeks. Small cats but pretty healthy all in all.

Found out why the 'runt' was the runt. Mom actually called all 3 out last night to 'nurse'. Haven't seen her do that for days and days. All 3 rushed in but the runt couldn't seem to get into the good stuff. He finally gave up. Yep, they shut him out. He's mellow. If not for me with the kitty milk replacement and the bottle, he probably wouldn't have survived. Now he's eating real food and lapping milk. Tough little guy. I'm still hoping to find homes for the 2. The 3rd will probably never be caught just like Mom, who, yesterday HISSED and growled at me when I got between her and one of her OLDER kittens. At least she's guarding them. Scary though. I was thinking of just grabbing her sometime when she wasn't looking, but now, I'm not going to risk bites and scratches. Could be serious damage. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt for cat attack survivor. Ugh.

Off to scout the deck for critters and then pick up blowing papers and junk out front. Gotta make the house look lived in. woozy


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111042
05/20/17 12:31 PM
05/20/17 12:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Hot hot hot....you just knew I was gonna say that. We will have a "normal" day here....a little of this, a lot of that. Son is at work. Per is here. Cully went to other g'ma's.

Joe, sorry your feet hurt. Do you have good work shoes?

Ana, Enjoy!

Soot kissy

Venus, hope the storms don't cause problems

Gerry, thanks for the tea.

Gail, have a great day

Connie, have fun tonight.

MaG, wavegirl

Space, what's up for you today?

Midgy, I hope them move is soon over and the new place is wonderful.

Sorta, stay cool


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #1111054
05/20/17 01:25 PM
05/20/17 01:25 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Looney I just got back from my neighbors Little League game. Time for some reading. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111058
05/20/17 02:18 PM
05/20/17 02:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Did they win?

It's always time for reading! I just made smoothies and am folding laundry. I'd rather be reading!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111073
05/20/17 04:01 PM
05/20/17 04:01 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
just dropping in to say hi ! wave

and hope you all have a wonderful day !

catrub wave2

Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111077
05/20/17 05:22 PM
05/20/17 05:22 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wow, major storms....electricity and internet blinking in and out.....water in the den sad


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111084
05/20/17 06:19 PM
05/20/17 06:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
shocked

The rain was coming down so hard...

"How hard Soot?"

It was coming down so hard the water was 6 inches deep in front of the house and just about coming in the front door which is six and one half inches above the yard
eek

Spent 30 minutes out front pushing/sweeping water to a drain pipe next to the front door to keep the water from pooling which eventually seeps into our lower den (level)

L4L hearts

Hey Joe Ana MaG Connie Gerry NiteOwl SQF SortaB Midge Gail L4L and Venus laugh

You be careful with MaMa Cat SortaB kitty

Have a great Saturday afternoon everybody!!

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111094
05/20/17 08:10 PM
05/20/17 08:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
No, no, not more rain sad


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #1111097
05/20/17 09:05 PM
05/20/17 09:05 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1111111
05/21/17 03:41 AM
05/21/17 03:41 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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