ALBERT CAMUS
You are forgiven for your happiness and your successes only if you generously consent to share them.
````````````
Teacher : How do you spell "wrong"?
Bobby : R-O-N-G.
Teacher: That's wrong.
Bobby: That's what you asked for, isn't it?
````````````
Little Tina (sobbing): Mommy, I will never learn how to spell.
Little Tina's mom: Why is that?
Little Tina: The class-teacher keeps changing the words.
`````````````
Joey is arrested and the big policeman says to him, "I'm afraid you'll have to spend the night in the lock-up."
Joey says, "Do you mind telling me the charge officer."
The cop replies, "No charge to you. It's all part of the package."
``````````````
Tina, who is in her teens, goes shopping in a mall in Dubai.
As she approaches the perfume counter, the salesgirl shows her several brands like "My Sin", "Bliss", "Desire", and "Ecstasy".
Tina says to the salesgirl, "Hey, all I want is to smell nice, I am not looking to get emotionally involved."
```````````
Reasearch says that a man speaks 25,000 words a day while a woman speaks 30,000 words.
The problem is with the timing - while the husband consumes his 25,000 words at work, the wife's 30,000 start when the husband reaches home.
``````````````````
A beautiful girl called Rita was driving around in her yellow sports car when she noticed in the rear-view mirror that a policeman on motorcycle was following her.
The policeman finally pulled her over, and holding a ticket ready, said to her, "Ma'am, do you realize you have crossed the speed limit. Give me your name please."
Rita, not the brightest of women, replied in an irritated tone, "That's just great......and what am I going to be called then?"
`````````````
Jeremy, who joined the army, was considered slow by all his army colleagues. When he was taken to the indoor firing range for training, his trainer gave him some instructions, handed him a rifle and some bullets.
Jeremy fired several shots at the target and when the report arrived, it revealed that he had missed the target completely in all the attempts.
Jeremy looked at his rifle and then at the target. He looked again at the rifle, and then at the target. He put his finger over the end of the gun barrel and pressed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, and he shouted toward the target area: "It's starting from here just fine. The problem seems to be at your end!"
`````````````````
Did you hear about the horrible accident last evening involving a guy?
The guy was driving his pickup truck with his motorcycle in the back, when the truck lost control, ran off the road and plunged into the lake.
The guy died trying to get his motorcycle out of the back of the pickup. He drowned attempting to get the tailgate open.
``````````````
Bubba, an electrical technician, was out of work.
His friend suggested he take up some elevator jobs in new constructions close by.
Bubba said, "Nope, I don't do elevator jobs."
"Why??" the friend asked.
Bubba replied, "I don't know the route."
Now I ask you, who's dumber, Bubba, or that joke?
````````````````
I love April in the Summer
I love April on the Fall
I love April in the Winter
April is the finest girl of all.
Good morning everyboomie.
We had a bit of April here today. It started with showers, what else?
I didn't get out to go to the creek until 10:00.
It was cool, but oh so humid of course, and that's not all. It was muddy, and slippery.
You could hear me falling all over that creek.
By the time I got back, I didn't know which I was more of.....muddy, or wet.
I did come back with a point though. After a couple of hours of fruitless searching, on the next to last sand bar, I had searched the sandbar and in the water, and found nothing. I made one more sweep of the sandbar, and found this sweet little black point.
I should have swept a little harder.
It was still overcast, and hard to see down there.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe