VICTOR HUGO
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.
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Little Bobby always wanted to own a Hercules bicycle, so when his dad bought him one, Bobby was overjoyed. He spent most of his summer vacations riding his brand new bike, ringing the bicycle's bell and waving at all the jealous kids in the neighborhood. One day, some bullies in the locality stopped him, then drew a circle in the dirt road and told him, "Stay inside this circle. If you step out, you will get the thrashing of your life."
Then they picked up some iron rods and started hitting his new Hercules bicycle with the rods. When they were finished busting the bicycle, they looked back at Little Bobby and saw him smiling. They hit the bicycle some more, and he was still smiling. They walked up to him and asked, "Why the grin on your face? Don't you realize we smashed your new bike!"
Bobby said, "I know, but you never noticed I stepped out of the circle 12 times."
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Two Indian potatoes were sitting on the chopping table of a fast food joint.
One potato said to the other, "I’m about to change my nationality."
"How will you do that?" the other potato asked.
The first potato replied, "By becoming French fries!"
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It was my cat, Toby's 3rd birthday and I was worrying about buying a birthday present for her.
My wife commented, "Why don't you look something up in the CAT-ALOGUE".
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Dean was trying his first parachute jump. The trainer said: “You count slowly up to ten, then pull the first cord. If it doesn’t open, you have the option of the reserve chute. That’s it. When you reach the ground a car will be there for you.”
Off Dean jumped, counted to ten and pulled the cord. Nothing happened. Unmoved, he pulled the reserve chute cord. That too failed. Now in panic, as he went down he thought: “With my luck, the car won’t be there either.”
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Jeremy answers a knock at the door late one night. He opens the door to find a seven-foot tall centipede at the doorstep.
Without a warning, the centipede kicks him on the chest and walks away. The following night, he finds the same centipede back again at his front door. This time the centipede kicks him between the legs and runs away.
Jeremy is in pain and somehow manages to climb his bed and go to sleep.
He goes to see a doctor next morning. The doctor asks what happened and, Jeremy narrates the happenings of the previous 2 nights.
"Ah" says the doc. "There is a nasty bug going around."
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My wife is overweight and has taken up a diet plan. Though I try and avoid desserts myself, I could not resist an ice-cream I saw in the refrigerator on a Sunday evening.
My wife retorted, "You know what is the most difficult part of my diet plan? It is not watching what I eat, it's watching what you eat."
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The other day, my Grandpa was telling me that he always uses valet parking.
When I asked why, he replied that valets at least remember where they park your car.
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On a pleasant evening, a small boy was playing in the backyard of his house with his mother’s broom. He pretended to be a witch flying on the broom. By the time he finished his play, it was quite dark.
Unable to locate the broom in its usual place, the boy’s mother asked the little one about it. The boy confessed that he had left it in the backyard. The mother asked him to fetch it immediately upon which the boy said it was quite dark in the backyard and he was scared to step out to get the broom.
The mother patted him kindly and said: “God is everywhere. He is out there too. So don’t be afraid and ask for his help.”
The boy went and opened the back door a crack and shouted: “Oh god, my mother says you are out there. Can you please bring me my mother’s broom please.”
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You are a die-hard cyclist if:
# You learn someone had a crash and your first concern is "Hope the bike's okay."
# You sympathize with the roadkill.
# Biker chick does not mean leather, but spandex, and not Harley, but a Marinoni.
# You have spent more money on your bike clothes than the rest of your combined wardrobe.
# Wax is used on your chain, but not on your car.
# Your car's odometer has less miles compared to the miles your bike has covered.
# Your bike jerseys outnumber your dress shirts.
# You make it a practice to carry your bike along when you shop for a car - to ensure the bike will fit inside.
# You buy a mini-van and straight away remove the rear seats to allow your bikes to fit.
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It was bedtime for Little Ted and he insisted on taking his bicycle to bed with him.
His mother, a little surprised by the strange request, asked him why he wanted to do that.
Ted replied, "Mom, I don't want to walk in my sleep!"
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Sam, an American student, had not prepared for his Economics exam and was not expecting to do too well.
Sam read the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat does the United States export?
Regaining some of his confidence, Sam wrote, "In 1492, none."
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Good morning everyboomie.
IT'S FRIDAY!!! For what it's worth.
This morning I took Baby to the vet. She's been acting poorly. She hasn't been wanting to eat, and she cries in pain when I pick her up. We went to the park, and she could barley walk. At the vet they ran blood test, and came back and told me she has tick fever.
I give her a 3 month flea and tick pill, but I think it's been a little over 3 months. Unless she got it before.
I feel so sorry for her. I can see her misery in her eyes.
I have to give her two meds twice a day for 20 days and then do the blood test again, and see how she is.
An hour after I gave her the first pills, she threw up, but at least I was able to get her to eat quite a bit this evening and then gave her the medicine again.
I'm glad I'm off for the next 2 days, so I can give her lots of TLC.
Have a great day everyone.
joe