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Tuesday's #1112904
06/05/17 10:06 PM
06/05/17 10:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
FRANK SCULLY

Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?

````````````

My brother and I own a car dealership in the north end of town. It was a busy Tuesday morning, when a large motor coach was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle badly needed repair and the whole thing looked like it was caught up in a hurricane. My brother asked the driver what had happened. The driver replied that he had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a cup of coffee!

We had to educate him about the difference between cruise control and auto-pilot!

`````````````

Bennett asks his friend Ernest, "Hey, can you lend me your book titled 'How To Become A Billionaire'?"

Ernest says, "Wait a minute, I'll get it for you".

When Ernest gives him the book, Bennett comments, "Thank you, buddy, but half the pages are missing!!"

Ernest replies, "So what? Isn't half a billion enough for you?"

````````````````

Kirk was telling his colleagues about a strange dream he had the previous night. He dreamt he was in the middle of action in the old west riding a stagecoach. All of a sudden, a cowboy riding a horse appears on the right side of the stagecoach and a horse without a rider pulls up on the left.

In a swift move, the cowboy bends down, pulls open the door of the stagecoach and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse. Kirk, confused by the events that were happening so swiftly, yelled out to the cowboy, "What do you think you are doing?"

The cowboy replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through."

````````````

Father Moore had a naughty little kitten named Batty who was always up to some mischief. Once, Batty climbed up a small tree in Father Moore's backyard and then refused to come down.

Father Moore tried hard to get the kitten down by calling out its name, also tried offering milk, sweets, but Batty would just not come down. As the tree was not strong enough to climb, Father Moore thought that if he tied one end of a rope to the tree and the other to his car and drove ahead to bend the tree, he could perhaps reach up and get Batty. He did it and felt that he should go a little bit further so that the tree is adequately bent for him to reach Batty. But as he moved a little further ahead, the rope snapped.

The tree went "boing!" and Batty sailed through the air and out of sight. Father Moore felt terrible. He went searching for Batty in the entire neighborhood and its vicinity, asked people if they had seen Batty but his attempts in locating the little kitten failed.

Father Moore committed Batty to the Lord's keeping and went back to normal life.

A few days later, he met a lady at the local store buying food and he noticed she was carrying a tin of cat food. He distinctly remembered that this lady hated cats so he questioned her about the cat food.

She replied, "You will find it hard to believe but my little boy Tommy had been pestering me for a cat, and I kept declining his request. Then one day, he begged again and I told him if God gave him a cat, I would allow him to keep it. I saw Tommy go out in the yard, get on his knees, and pray to God for a cat. And then, something unbelievable happened!! A kitten came flying out of the sky, and landed right in his lap!!!"


believe it...........or not

``````````````````

Three cowboys - Billy, Rex and Chuck - were drinking at the local bar. Billy said, "Did you hear that bugger Roy bought a new car. I bet he's going to start bragging about it the moment he enters this bar."

Rex said, "You should not be judgmental about him. Roy's a good lad. I am sure he's just gonna say a 'hi' when he walks in."

"I know Roy better than either of you," said Chuck. "He's a smart guy, he'll find a way to do both. Here he comes now."

Roy swung open the bar door and yelled, "Audi, boys!"

`````````````

Mike Sweeney goes to the pharmacy to buy an anti-infective skin cream. When the pharmacist gives him one, Mike reads the directions to use. It says : apply locally twice a day.

Mike says to the pharmacist: "But I can't apply locally, I'm going out of town."

`````````````

Mary called her old friend, Mrs. Cooper on her 101st birthday to ask how she planned to celebrate her big day.

Mrs. Cooper replied cheerfully, "My children will be coming to stay with me for the weekend."

Mary said, "I am sure you are looking forward to that."

“Of course,” Mrs. Cooper replied, "but it's a lot of work, cleaning and dusting, making up their beds.”

Mary said, “Why don't you let the children do it when they are arrive?"

"Oh no, I couldn't do that,” Mrs. Cooper replied, "they're all in their in their 80s!”

`````````

When I bought my daughter a bigger bicycle, she insisted on parking it next to her small old cycle.
She said, "The big one is the daddy of the small cycle - wait, I have a name for it - Popcycle."

```````````

When Marco Polo first opened the trade routes to China, he was quite impressed with their rockets. Now, these weren't quite the fireworks we now know, but they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty patterns. Strangely, no matter where he went, there were people who made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to demonstrate them for him.

"Not here!" they said. A confused Marco Polo came upon an ancient military fortification at the community of Chu'Lai. Here, fireworks were launched every night, and Marco was very impressed!

But still he wondered, "Why here?" At the end of every week, people came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks to launch. So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone came here to launch their fireworks.

Marc's guide replied: "Why honored Sir, we always set off fireworks on the Fort of Chu'Lai"

````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


I had an extremely busy day today, and again, after I got home my feet were just throbbing. tired


Don't know if I'll make it through the whole Summer, when I keep asking myself "How did I ever do this before?" shocked


I have an early morning tomorrow for an appointment, and I'm itching to get started on my preparations. sleep


I hope you all have a very happy day. rah hamster wink


joe




Last edited by gymcandy1; 06/05/17 10:07 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1112908
06/05/17 10:18 PM
06/05/17 10:18 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good luck on your appt tomorrow! hearts I remember your feet hurting all the time before Joe. And when your feet hurt, it tends to make your whole body miserable.

Have a great day everyone!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1112910
06/05/17 10:26 PM
06/05/17 10:26 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope you feel better, Joe! luck with your appointment.

Have a terrific day, Ana.

It's Monday night, and I'm off to sleep soon. It's going to be another 4 am start for me. crazy You'd think by now I'd be used to it, but it only seems to get harder. lol

Okay, off to sleep. Have a great Tuesday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1112912
06/05/17 10:32 PM
06/05/17 10:32 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
YOu never get used to it, venus. I did the 4:30 am wake up for work for twenty years and I never ever got into the routine. It goes against my natural rhythm. Have a great day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1112913
06/05/17 10:57 PM
06/05/17 10:57 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Ana, I know what you mean! I'm a natural night person, so early mornings and I do not get along. lol The only advantage is that I get off earlier than I would otherwise.

Hope you have a great day also! wave


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1112929
06/06/17 07:12 AM
06/06/17 07:12 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Lunch and Netflix with a friend. Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke tonight at 8-8 Panda. The Dr. appointment went well. I have to go back next week for my complete physical. Danish, Eggs, Grits, BB Pancakes, Hash Browns, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1112958
06/06/17 10:36 AM
06/06/17 10:36 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers hamster

Joe, hope the day will be easy on your feet.

Ana, have a good day!

Venus, early workday of good wishes.

Connie, have fun at lunch with your friend. And more fun tonight!

Wishing everyone a great day. Raining here again! rolleyes


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1112998
06/06/17 03:09 PM
06/06/17 03:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

I had an extremely restless night which resulted in my sleeping waaaaaaay too late. Son finally came up and woke me up to see if I was still alive. Anyway, I hope you all are having a wonderful day! wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1113009
06/06/17 05:03 PM
06/06/17 05:03 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113012
06/06/17 05:15 PM
06/06/17 05:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Welcome home, Space. I hope your day has been good so far!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1113014
06/06/17 05:53 PM
06/06/17 05:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Work drama looney but it is good to be home. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113023
06/06/17 07:46 PM
06/06/17 07:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Hello everyone laugh Have a great evening wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113026
06/06/17 07:56 PM
06/06/17 07:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Well here's hoping your night is drama-free, Space wavegirl

Soot kissy

Edit: Bed time has come. Sweet dreams all sleep

Last edited by looney4labs; 06/06/17 09:25 PM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113039
06/06/17 11:00 PM
06/06/17 11:00 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
NIghty night...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113044
06/06/17 11:26 PM
06/06/17 11:26 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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