JOE CLARK
Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it.
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After accepting an invitation to dance with a rather prematurely balding man, Kate, 25 years of age, wanted to lighten the mood and said, "Well, God was good to you, gave you a handsome face and room for another one."
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A young boy went to an office to be interviewed for a job, and was asked his full name.
"Karthik Ganesan Muthuswamy," he replied.
"How do you spell that?" asked the rattled manager.
"Well...sir........can't you just put it down without spelling it?"
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Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and when he examines you he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."
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Two pals, Jo & Rob are enjoying beer at a pub.
Jo says, "I am sick of being bald."
Rob suggests, "Why don't you get hair transplant."
Jo replies, "I can't afford it dude!"
Rob says, "Well, you can get some rabbits tattooed on your head."
Jo asks him, "How will that help?"
Rob replies jokingly, "Well, from a distance they will look like hares."
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The man who is the world's leading expert on wasps is walking through Droitwich one day when he passes an old vinyl record shop.
Looking in the window, an album catches his eye: "The Sounds of Wasps from Around the World". He enters the store and asks the salesgirl if he can listen to the album.
"Sure...just go into the booth and put on the headphones," replies the shop assistant.
He does this and listens to ten minutes of buzzing noises until he can take no more.....he leaves the booth and says to the salesgirl, "I'm an expert on wasps and I have to say that I didn't recognize any of those noises".
"Oh, I'm so sorry," answers the assistant, "I was playing you the B side."
[ BEE.....]
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Luke, who lived in a small town, was teased everywhere he went as he had a completely bald head! Having put up with it for years, he decided to would not take it any more. So he climbed a tall tower and shouted for everyone to hear: "I am not bald, it just so happens that I'm taller than my hair!"
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There were two grocery stores in the same lane in Delhi-India. One was owned by Abdul and the other one belonged to Kumar.
Abdul had a sign outside his shop, "Peaches @ Rupees 150 a kilo". A lady, went in and asked for them.
"I am so sorry - they are out of stock right now, come back tomorrow and I'll have them ready for you", said Abdul.
So she ventured into Kumar's grocery store across the street. But his peaches were available for Rupees 200 a kilo! At least he has them in stock, she thought to herself.
"Your prices are very steep" she said. "Abdul sells them at Rupees 150 a kilo".
"You are right, says Kumar, "and when I run out of stock, mine will also be priced Rupees 150 a kilo!"
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Alice entered a butcher shop just when it was about to close.
She said to the butcher, "Thank God I made it in time! Do you have any chicken?"
The butcher opened his refrigerator and took out his only chicken, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs three and a half pounds.
"Don't you have anything bigger?" Alice asks.
The butcher returns the chicken to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the chicken. The scale shows four and a half pounds.
"Great!" says Alice. "I'll have both of them please."
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A sergeant noticed that one of the privates was behaving oddly. The private would pick up any piece of paper he found, sulk and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the sergeant arranged to have the private psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded that the private was mentally ill, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The private picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."
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Good morning everyboomie.
It's Monday, and it just so happens to be the last day I work, before the next time.
I have a few non working ones in between there.
After I got home yesterday, and walked my doggies, I was so incredibly happy to sit down and take my shoes off because DANG, my feet hurt!
I hope I get a chance to do some head hunting this week, but I know my window will be a narrow one.
In the mean time I'll happily spen my spare time here at Gameboomers with my friends.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
I'm off to sleep for another 4 am work day. 
