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Thursday's #1113144
06/07/17 10:35 PM
06/07/17 10:35 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
MOHANDAS KARAMCHAND GANDHI

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

```````````

There are four tourists from India who are visiting London. They go to see the Big Ben. They all climb up the tower and decide to throw their wrist watches from the top, then hurry down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.

The first tourist, Amar, threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken four steps.

The second tourist, Vinod, threw his watch and had hardly taken three before when he heard his watch shatter.

The third tourist, Harry, threw his watch and by the time he had taken two steps, the watch hit the ground.

The fourth tourist, Santa Singh, threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a cup of coffee from a shop down the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.

"How on earth did you do that?" asked all his friends.

"Simple", Santa Singh replied, "My watch is slow by 30 minutes."

`````````````

Joey, a farmer from the country, went to the big bad city to see the sights.

He inquired with the hotel's clerk about the time of meals.

"Breakfast is served from 7 to 10, lunch from 12 to 3, and dinner from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.

"Look here," inquired Joey in surprise, "When will I get time to explore the city?"

``````````````

On entering a lab, if you see an experiment, how will you determine which class it pertains to?

The answer is simple:

If it is green and wiggles, it has to be Biology.

If it stinks, it has to be Chemistry.

If it doesn't work, then you know it's Physics.

````````````

An economist had finished his day at work and was leaving for home, when he noticed a small boy call out to him from the footpath where he was sitting with a dog. The boy said, "Sir, would you like to buy a dog."

The economist was surprised by the approach, but asked nevertheless, "How much are you selling the dog for?"

The boy replied "Twenty thousand dollars."

"Twenty thousand dollars for this dog!" the economist exclaimed. "Does he know any special tricks to make him worth so much money?"

The boy replied, "Sir, this dog never made a dime in his life. If you take into consideration the expenses on his food, I think you will lose money on him every year."

The economist did not want to let go the opportunity to lecture the boy about the principles of economics and explained to him the fact that a commodity needed to yield more returns than it consumed to equal a purchase price. He finished by saying that the five dollars could be the maximum sum that should be expected for the dog, that too from somebody who just wanted a companion. Feeling satisfied with the knowledge that he had imparted to the young boy, the economist went away.

A few days later, the economist again noticed the small boy was again sitting on the footpath but this time there was no dog in sight. He asked the boy, "Did you get the five dollars for your dog?"

The boy said, "No, I got twenty thousand dollars for him."

The business man was stunned. "How on earth did you get twenty thousand dollars for that dog?" he asked.

"It was a piece of cake," replied the boy. "I traded him for two ten thousand dollar cats."

```````````````

Do you know Psychology is actually Biology.

Do you know Biology is actually Chemistry.

Do you know Chemistry is actually Physics.

Do you know Physics is actually Math.


If you understand it and able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Mathematics.

If you understand it, but unable to prove it, then publish in a periodical/magazine of Physics.

If you cannot understand it, but are able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Economics.

If you can neither understand it nor are able to prove it, then publish it in a periodical/magazine of Psychology.

````````````````

Bob and Robbie were riding their snow bikes across the lake. All of a sudden Bob broke through the ice and sank with his bike.

Robbie went to the edge of the ice hole and saw Bob desperately pulling the starting rope.

Robbie shouted: “Hey Bob, open the choke and then pull.

```````````````

Rob and Bill both went to work for a lumber mill. They both worked on the band saw. One day while working and talking to Bill, Rob bent too close to saw and the blade sliced one of his ears off. Bill immediately picked up the sliced ear with intention of being helpful to Rob.

He said: “Rob, don’t panic. See I have your ear here. It may be possible for the doctor to sew it back.”

Rob: “You fool, that’s not mine. My ear had a pencil behind it.”

`````````````

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a hockey mom?

A: One nurtures its children, the other sends them out to play on a frozen lake.

````````````

A Swede man goes to a lumber yard to buy some lumbers of eight feet length in particular.

The salesman of the yard asked the Swede: “How long do you want them?”

The Swede: “Quite a long time, you see, I am building a house.”

```````````

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150 .

```````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


I've had a busy day, and I'm running quite late. slapforehead


I was out at the sod farm before 8:00, and stayed until 12:00. I was quite worn out by then. I found two points, and some other pieces. tired


I have people coming to install gutters on my house tomorrow. bravo


My sleeping pills are kicking in, so I'm gonna shut her down. sleep


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113145
06/07/17 11:14 PM
06/07/17 11:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Great that you found some points, Joe! joy Sweet dreams...

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113147
06/07/17 11:39 PM
06/07/17 11:39 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Thursday Joe, Ana and all who follow. wave

Today was such a long day, and I had to do work related projects for both jobs even after I got home. crazy I think I've given up on actually getting to sleep early for a change. lol

All right, off to sleep for another 5 am wake up. Have a terrific Thursday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113170
06/08/17 07:44 AM
06/08/17 07:44 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Thursday. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113184
06/08/17 08:41 AM
06/08/17 08:41 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers dragon

Joe, hope you slept well. Glad you found some points.

Venus, have a great workday!

Ana, wishing you a super day today.

Connie, enjoy whatever comes your way today.

Good day to everyone. A walk with Nina this morning. lab


Gail
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113204
06/08/17 11:12 AM
06/08/17 11:12 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Had a fun day yesterday. Neighbor across who 'shunned' me for a few years now, has a broken arm. It happened over the Memorial Day weekend or just before. He is pacing back and forth on his phone, and is loud enough to hear clearly with our 'acoustics' here. It's like a megaphone and you have to be careful talking outside as it goes right across from my house to his and back.

Anyway, my other neighbor and I have been speculating on 'how' he broke his arm. This is the second broken arm in 2 years. We figured it was a skateboard accident as we had seen a new boyfriend for the younger daughter who had a hugely long skateboard. He was almost boasting about 'he hit me, so I hit him' and 'maybe I should be arrested'. Very agitated but sounding proud. Lots of calls to different people, but it all boils down to a workplace incident. And it's not the first time.

Then last night, company arrives (an old friend and wife from Arizona). The wife goes off in the truck and the hubby stays and he and the neighbor proceed to get stinking drunk. I mean REALLY drunk in the front yard to the point they were dancing around, hooting and hollering, and at one point, this neighbor, WAVES and shouts HELLO to a passing police car!

Lots of entertainment on a boring day!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113206
06/08/17 11:23 AM
06/08/17 11:23 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Sorta, I have new neighbors who do not understand the concept of silence at night. My bedroom is closest to them and they like to chat outside at 11am to 1am. You can hear every word and it keeps me awake.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113230
06/08/17 01:55 PM
06/08/17 01:55 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Yep Ana, it's annoying to say the least. One corner the guy who gets drunk and yells and the other, the new guys (in the old squatter's house) who hold parties all the time and have loud (boom boom boom) music playing until usually 1 am. Guess you can't have complete harmony, but you would think they would know the neighbors might wanna sleep.

Maybe we should record the chats and play them back on loudspeakers the next time everyone at those homes are fast asleep? rotfl


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113232
06/08/17 01:58 PM
06/08/17 01:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

Last night was another of those "I just couldn't fall asleep until 5 a.m." nights. Really sick of them! I was up at 8:30, but I'm moving slower than molasses. Hope you all have a great day!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursday's [Re: looney4labs] #1113248
06/08/17 03:58 PM
06/08/17 03:58 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hopefully tonight is better looney.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113255
06/08/17 05:53 PM
06/08/17 05:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Me too, Space, I have boys tomorrow so I need to be just a wee bit fleeter of feet and quicker of brain.

Welcome home wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursday's [Re: looney4labs] #1113264
06/08/17 08:25 PM
06/08/17 08:25 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thanks looney. I hope you come back strong for the weekend. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thursday's [Re: Space Quest Fan] #1113270
06/08/17 09:49 PM
06/08/17 09:49 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. See you all tomorrow. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113273
06/08/17 10:11 PM
06/08/17 10:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good night SQF .. I'm following in your foot steps

Hi everyone..hope your day was kind to you!

See you tomorrow wave2

sleep


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113280
06/08/17 11:04 PM
06/08/17 11:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night..


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1113281
06/08/17 11:04 PM
06/08/17 11:04 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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