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Sip and Surf Sunday #1113497
06/10/17 09:13 PM
06/10/17 09:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
ALBERT EINSTEIN

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

`````````````

A doctor, an engineer, and a fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates.

The doctor said how he'd healed the sick, helped the lame; but he was a sinner and was sent to Hell.

The engineer told how he'd built homes for the homeless, etc.; but he messed up the environment, so he was sent to Hell.

The fungal taxonomist was frightened by all this, but as soon as he mentioned his occupation, God said "You've already been through Hell, Welcome to Heaven."

````````````

What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone that can play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

````````````

Things you would NOT want to see happen at the ATM

- You go to get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says: "Not worth wasting paper", and ejects your card.

- You try to get a balance inquiry, and the screen says: "Account not found." and keeps your card.

- You insert your card, and try to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out your shredded card.

- You withdraw some money to pay some bills, count it, and the screen says: "What, you thought there was some EXTRA there? HA!", and ejects your card clear across the room.

- You think you've got $100 in your account and go to take out $50, and the screen says: "Not in this lifetime." and laughs as you bang on the machine, trying desperately to get your card back that the machine has taken.

- You go to the ATM, and there's a picture of you a-la-"Most Wanted" staring forlornly at the ATM camera with a caption that reads: "Wanted for trying to get water from a dry well."

````````````````

The new iPad went on sale this week. The picture's so fantastic, you can see with amazing clarity just how obsolete the iPad you got for Christmas is.

```````````````

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.

A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town.

"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'."

```````````

A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede. They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta."

A fellow at the front of the crowd asks, "When did that happen?"

"1215," answers the guide.

The man looks at his watch and says, "[blip]! Just missed it by a half hour!"

``````````````````````

Two cows were talking in the field one day.

First Cow: "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"

Second Cow: "Yeah, makes you glad you're a goat, doesn't it?"

```````````````

A story is told that Richard Wagner was walking on a street in Berlin one day and came across an organ-grinder who was grinding out the overture to Tannhäuser. Wagner stopped and said, "As a matter of fact, you are playing it too fast."

The organ-grinder at once recognized Wagner, tipped his hat, and said, "Oh thank you, Herr Wagner! Thank you, Herr Wagner!"

The next day Wagner returned to the same spot and found the organ-grinder grinding out the overture at the correct tempo. Behind him was a big sign: "PUPIL OF RICHARD WAGNER."

``````````````


Little Bunny Foo-Foo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice, and bopping them on the head.

Down-n-n-n came the good fairy. She said, "Little Bunny Foo-Foo, I don't want to see you scooping up the field mice, and bopping them on the head. If you don't behave, I will turn you into a goon! I will give you THREE chances!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo-Foo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice, and bopping them on the head.

Down-n-n-n came the good fairy. She said, "Little Bunny Foo-Foo, I don't want to see you scooping up the field mice, and bopping them on the head. If you don't behave, I will turn you into a goon! I will give you TWO more chances!"

The next day:

Down-n-n-n came the good fairy. She said, "Little Bunny Foo-Foo, I don't want to see you scooping up the field mice, and bopping them on the head. If you don't behave, I will turn you into a goon! I will give you ONE more chance!"

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo-Foo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice, and bopping them on the head.

Down-n-n-n came the good fairy. She said, "Little Bunny Foo-Foo, I warned you! I gave you three chances, and you didn't behave." She waved her magic wand, and POOF! Little Bunny Foo-Foo turned into a goon.

AND THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS:

Hare today, goon tomorrow!

```````````````

The story is told about a king in Africa who had a close friend he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.

As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."

"No," his friend replied, "this is good!"

"What do you mean, "this is good!" How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"

"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you!"

``````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Busy busy day today at work. It's like everybody thinks it's Summer or something, and are all wanting to do home projects at the same time. razz


I walked my feet off today.....which is good. Now I don't have to worry about them anymore. slapforehead


Now my stubs are killing me. blush


I expect after Sunday I'll have shin splints. woot


Ah well, if it weren't for the heat and work I'd have no fun at all. hamster


Wait..... think


I think there's something rotten in Denmark......and it smells like my shoes after work. haha


Said the man with no sense of smell. wink


Now to Google 'fungal taxonomist'.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 06/10/17 09:53 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113505
06/10/17 11:51 PM
06/10/17 11:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks for the laughs Joe. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113506
06/11/17 12:01 AM
06/11/17 12:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Have a great day Joe! You would have been in heaven where I ran yesterday! Points and heads everywhere! Too bad I had no way to keep them!

SpaceQ, enjoy your day!

I succeeded in my Spartan Race yesterday. It's been a really long day and I had 4 hours sleep. I'm just getting on the computer for the day. I'll be collapsing shortly!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113514
06/11/17 03:47 AM
06/11/17 03:47 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Have a great Sunday Joe, Space Quest, Ana and all who follow. wave

I'm writing this post from my new computer. grin I've been installing games, pictures, etc. a lot longer than I'd intended, and it's way past my bedtime. Good thing I don't have to work tomorrow. lol The good news is, everything I've installed on Windows 10 is doing well so far. I'm sure I'll still need 7 for some older games that never got a GOG or Steam version, however, so I'll probably install some of those tomorrow. yes In the meantime, I'll be going back and forth between this computer and my older one until I have everything set up the way I want it.

Okay, off to sleep now . . . hopefully. lol Hope everyone has a terrific Sunday. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113516
06/11/17 05:09 AM
06/11/17 05:09 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. I'm back from vacation and visiting family. Had a wonderful time! Hope all is well with everyone. Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing you all a Happy Day! summer


Gerry
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113523
06/11/17 07:30 AM
06/11/17 07:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers dragon

Joe, enjoy the day today.

Ana, glad you made it through the race. rah

Venus, enjoy your new computer today.

Gerry, welcome back. Coffee please and thank you.

Wishing everyone here and everyone on their way a wonderful Sunday! joy2


Gail
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113526
06/11/17 07:46 AM
06/11/17 07:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning and have a Wonderful Sunday everyone. Breakfast out and some shopping today. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Ham, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Biscuits and Gravy, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113528
06/11/17 08:04 AM
06/11/17 08:04 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Venus, glad you got your computer up and running! Hope you have lots of great game time on it!

Gerry, we missed you! How was the visit?

Gail, how you doing? hearts

Connie, Thanks for breakfast! any special plans?

I'm off to see James for awhile this morning!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113541
06/11/17 11:51 AM
06/11/17 11:51 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Sunday ya'll puppy

We are all enjoying a quiet morning! Hubby is saving the chipmunks from the 4-legged terrors. Son is watching Monk. Boys are playing Minecraft, and I watching Seagy out of the corner of my eye whilst sipping and surfing. We may be heading out to Wonderwoman later. Then again, we may not. wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113542
06/11/17 11:58 AM
06/11/17 11:58 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
See you after work Joe laugh

Venus...have fun with your new computer!!! smashpc

We missed you Gerry, here and in the Garden...hope you had fun!

Good morning SQF, Gail and Connie...what are you up to today?

Ana, have fun and drive safe.

I think...

Yes, I do see L4L coming up the street...I'm thinking she'll stop by to hang out in the NC...ah she beat me here hearts

Project today was to reinforce the chipmunk entrance for the little buddies so our dog buddies can't get to them

I'm off to Garden now while enjoying my music.

We might go see Wonder Women today think

Have a wonderful Sunday!!

wave2



Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: soot] #1113559
06/11/17 02:52 PM
06/11/17 02:52 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Lawn work soot. eek


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113572
06/11/17 06:40 PM
06/11/17 06:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Back from Wonderwoman. Now killing Werewolves (hopefully) in One Night a Werewolf wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113573
06/11/17 06:55 PM
06/11/17 06:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
How did you like it, L4L?


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1113574
06/11/17 07:46 PM
06/11/17 07:46 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Did you like the movie looney? I heard it buried The Mummy in sales this weekend.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113576
06/11/17 08:10 PM
06/11/17 08:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
I loved it. I had a little trouble understanding the dialogue at the beginning but that is common for me at the theater. I use CC at home all the time and brain has to switch gears when I don't have it. Once I "adjusted," it was all good. We all really enjoyed the movie. It was not one of those that I was looking at my watch.

Middle son liked it too, but had some CGI issues with it, but I'm just not that critical. I just like the story.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113579
06/11/17 08:37 PM
06/11/17 08:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
No lawn work today SQF...I'm still good from last weekend...that may change if I get serious about the lawn...thinking about going back to a normal lawn to reduce mosquitoes...which will mean more work lol

Went to watch Wonder Woman ... oh my goodness what a really neat movie/story ... loved it! Gonna get it on DVD Blue Ray when it comes out! Pro Tip: go see Wonder Woman if you like fictional super hero's!! rah

Good night everyone ... I'm off to Garden a bit and then hit the hay as I have two big weeks ahead wave2

sleep


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Sip and Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #1113600
06/11/17 11:17 PM
06/11/17 11:17 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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