-1.SEC.STATE Colin Powell was recently approached by an Iraqi
newspaper reporter and accusingly asked, "Isn't it true that only
13 percent of young Americans can locate Iraq on a map?"
Secretary Powell stopped, turned, and stated "Yes, it's true. But,
unfortunately for you, all 13 percent are U---e- S---e- m-----es"
2.Never slap a man who's --e---- t-----o.
-3.Never kick a cow chip -- a h-- d--.
-4.Pearl: How was your blind date last night?
Shirl: Terrible. He showed up in a 1932 Rolls-Royce.
Pearl: Wow,that car must be worth a fortune!
What's so terrible about that?
Shirl: He's --e o------l ---e-.
-5.A Panda was in a restaurant, pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter dead.
The barman rushed over and said: "Argh!! You just shot my friend!!!" The Panda calmly replied: "Do you know what I am?" "Of Course I do," the barman answered, "you're a Panda!" "Good," the Panda replied, "now go home and look me up in the dictionary." And with that, the Panda walked out of the bar.
The barman was a little unsure, but he was very eager to be enlightened on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary and after a while he found 'panda' and quickly read the definition...
PANDA: 1. A black and white bear native to China. e--- s----s --- l----s.
-6.Memo from the boss: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER s---s ---- -e t---n.
-7.Rejected Hallmark card:
You had your bladder removed,
and you're on the mends...
here's a bouquet of flowers
and a box -- -e-e--s.
-8.Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a b----- f-----!
-9.What do you call a man whose father was a Canon ?
A --- -- a --- !
-10.How can you tell twin witches apart?
It's not easy to tell w---- w---- -- w----.
acebook
witter
