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Thursday's #1114886
06/21/17 09:23 PM
06/21/17 09:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
EDITH WHARTON

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

````````````

Madonna says to her father, "Daddy, I am head over heals in love with a guy, but he is so far away from me. I am in the US, he lives in India. We found each other on a dating site, got to be friends on Fb, chatted in Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Google Hangouts and we built our relationship on Snapchat. Daddy dear, please don't preach. Just need your love and support."

Madonna's dad says, "That's something! Why don't you marry on Twitter, have a good time on Tango, purchase your kids on Amazon and send them through Paypal. And if your husband is giving you a tough time, sell him on Ebay."

`````````````

My grandpa said to me, "I guess I am getting really old after all."

I asked, "What happened'?

Grandpa grumbled, "I went to Kaka's antique auction and four people bid on me!"

````````````

Sid left the bar and was on the way home, filthy and smelling like a pig.

He managed to board a bus and slumped next to a nun. Sid was quite a sight - his clothes were dirty and stained with lipstick marks, and every now and then, he took a swig of rum from a hip flask. He opened a magazine and began reading. Then he asked the nun, "Sister, what causes high blood pressure?"

The nun replied sarcastically, "It's the result of leading an amorous life, drinking too much rum, lack of discipline, and disregard for your fellow man."

"Oh my God!" muttered Sid, returning to his magazine.

The nun was felling a little guilty for her outburst and said, "Look, I am sorry, I didn't mean to be rude to you. How long have you been suffering from high blood pressure?"

"I don't, Father. But I was just reading here that the Pope does.

````````````````

John was a patient living in a mental hospital since many years. Lately, he had developed this habit of putting his ear to the wall and listening. The hospital doctor would watch John do this day after day. One day, the doctor finally decided to see what John was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to John and said, "I don't hear anything." John said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for almost a year!"

``````````````````

Daisy, a resident nurse at the City hospital, was not satisfied with her job, so she resigned. She was confident that she would easily find another job due to the high demand for nurses in her locality. She sent e-mails with cover letters to several potential employers and attached her resume to each one. A couple of weeks later, Daisy was disappointed as she had not received a single invitation for an interview. Finally she received a mail from a prospective employer which explained the reason she hadn't heard from anyone else. It read: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetarian burritos recipe."

````````````

During the proceedings of a court case, the lawyer asked the woman in the witness stand, "Ms. Maira, the defendant's wife has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Do you admit that you went to the Crescent hotel with Mr. Jones?" "Ah, yes," acknowledged Maira with a sob, "but I couldn't help it." The lawyer asked, "Why couldn't you help it?" Maira said, "Mr. Jones deceived me." The lawyer asked, "Be specific. What do you mean?" "Well, when we signed in," she cried, "he told the hotel clerk I was his wife."

````````````

Peter, the baker was about to call it a day when a man rushes into his bakery. "I want to have a cake made right now!" the man exclaims. "Well, I'm sorry," replies Peter. "But I was just closing shop. My staff has left, all my machines have been turned off. I'm afraid you'll have to come back tomorrow." The man insisted, "I cannot wait till tomorrow. It's absolutely essential that this cake be made right now!" Now, Peter hated to turn a customer back, so he says, "Let me see what I can do." He goes inside and turns all his machinery back on. He then comes back to the counter and ties on his apron. "Okay, what do you want?" The man takes out a sketch from his pocket and shows it to Peter. There is a nicely drawn image of a cake." It has to look just like this," says the man. "Exactly one foot wide, eight inches long, and six inches tall. White frosting, light blue icing, and a green cursive "R" in the middle. Just like this." Somewhat taken aback, Peter ponders the sketch for a few moments and replies. "I think I can do that. I will have it ready in about an hour." "An hour!" exclaims the man. "That's will be a problem. I need this in 30 minutes." "30 minutes?" responds Peter. "I'm not sure I can do that. I suppose I might be able to get it done that fast if I used some pre-made dough. The taste will not be as good though..." The man replies while checking his watch frantically "I don't care. Just get it done." So Peter goes back and makes the cake. He works harder and faster than he ever done before, and manages to produce the cake in just about half an hour. He presents it to the man fresh out of the oven. "Will this be adequate?" he asks. The man takes a measuring tape from his pocket. He checks the length, width, and height very carefully. He then compares it to the sketch. Suddenly, a look of horror comes across his face. "Oh no!" he exclaims. "The 'R' is the wrong shade of green! It has to be the same shade as the sketch. Oh, what will I do now?" "Relax," says Peter. "If the shade really is a problem I think I can re-ice it. It may take a few more minutes." "You think you can?" asks the man anxiously. "Well then, please do it fast!" So the baker quickly takes the cake back and puts on a new "R". A few moments later, he brings it back to man. "There you are. Is this what you wanted?" he asks. Once again the man examines the cake, checking every detail. He compares the shades of green, and this time decides they're all right. "Okay" says the man quickly, "this is good. Can I pay you now." "Of course," says Peter, quickly readying the cash register. "The boxes we have available are all over here. You can take your pick." "Oh no, that won't be required," answers the man. "I'll eat it here."

````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave


I want to say thank you all for your kind sympathies, and support. thanks


To be honest, it's very hard for me to find either humor or joy right now, but I do find solace among my friends. I know that many of you, if not all of you have been in my shoes, and you know the pain I'm feeling.


Baby is a blessing, and she is my everything. As much sweetness as she has brought me, my only hope is to make her remaining time here as sweet as possible.

I'm going to work in the morning, but I'm telling them to take me off the schedule for a week or so.


I have to try and keep one foot in reality, or else I'll sink in self pity. That's why I am posting tonight.


I went to have my colonoscopy this morning, and I'm glad to say I passed it with flying clear liquids.


After it was over with I rewarded myself with a bit of gluttony at IHOP.


I hope you all have a fantastic day.


Thank you Ana. hearts


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114888
06/21/17 09:44 PM
06/21/17 09:44 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Hugs for you - Joe and Baby. Great that you passed the big C test.

wave to all.

Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114890
06/21/17 09:57 PM
06/21/17 09:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
Yeppers Joe, the "C" test is one of life's adventures!

I'm keeping you and Baby in my prayers angel

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114894
06/21/17 10:18 PM
06/21/17 10:18 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, you and Baby are in my thoughts. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. hearts

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114899
06/21/17 10:40 PM
06/21/17 10:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Sorry to hear about Baby, Joe. sad I know what you are going through. I still miss kitty version Venus every day.

Have a great day, MaG, soot and Ana. wave

I'm off to sleep. It's another long work day for me.


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114912
06/22/17 04:10 AM
06/22/17 04:10 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, MaG, Ana venus and all. Joe I have been in your shoes so I understand what you are going thru with Baby. Sending hugs and love to comfort you.
Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a peaceful day. summer


Gerry
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114923
06/22/17 06:47 AM
06/22/17 06:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Thursday. Joe, Big Big Hugs on the way for you and baby. I still miss Outlaw. Congrats on passing the big C. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114928
06/22/17 07:17 AM
06/22/17 07:17 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Wishing everyone a super duper good day! hamster


Gail
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114930
06/22/17 07:24 AM
06/22/17 07:24 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,222
Canal Fulton, OH
Sparkle Offline
Addicted Boomer
Sparkle  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,222
Canal Fulton, OH
Sorry to hear about your pup, Joe. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers in the days ahead.

Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114958
06/22/17 11:55 AM
06/22/17 11:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday, ya'll puppy

Rain is the order of the day. So the dogs and I will hang out til it's time to take Keoki for his Laser treatment.

I short-stopped in the kitchen this morning as I usually do. Heading back up there in a second to get breakfast and make smoothies before son heads out to work.

Joe, hugs for you and Baby. We have been there too many times, and are keeping you in our prayers and thoughts. Colonscopies are proof that growing old is not for sissies. Glad it's over with.

MaG wave

Soot kissy

Ana, you still in the corner?

Venus, the good news is since today is shorter than yesterday, maybe the work day will be as well.

Gerry, wishing you a peaceful day also.

Connie, are you getting this rain?

Gail, hope the day is super dooper....

Hi ya, Sparkle


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursday's [Re: looney4labs] #1114988
06/22/17 04:54 PM
06/22/17 04:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Hi looney. wave


Joe,

I'm glad Baby has you. My prayers go out to you both.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114989
06/22/17 04:56 PM
06/22/17 04:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Welcome home, Space wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursday's [Re: looney4labs] #1114993
06/22/17 06:34 PM
06/22/17 06:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
thanks looney. Did you have a good day?


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114994
06/22/17 07:10 PM
06/22/17 07:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
I did. Had to go out in the rain to get Kman to the vet...
But we survived


How bout you?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursday's [Re: looney4labs] #1114998
06/22/17 08:53 PM
06/22/17 08:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
The best part about it is that tomorrow is the weekend. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1114999
06/22/17 09:05 PM
06/22/17 09:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Yes it is!

And in preparation for that, I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1115000
06/22/17 09:25 PM
06/22/17 09:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,658
Alabama
Hi everyone...I got home earlier tonight and can see the light at the end of the tunnel yes

L4L hearts

Sleep good everyone sleep


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1115003
06/22/17 10:20 PM
06/22/17 10:20 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
I'm off to sleep for yet another long work day. I probably won't have time to post in the morning, so I will wish everyone a great Friday now. wave

Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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