JAMES M. BARRIE

Always be a little kinder than necessary.

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The town's bank manager called the police station to report a robbery.

'You'll never believe what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my bank, the doors opened. Out comes these robbers and they lead an elephant out of the truck. The elephant then breaks through my plate glass window, sticks his trunk in, sucks up all the money. Then the gang lead the elephant back into the truck. The robbers close the truck doors and the truck pulled away.'

The desk sergeant said, 'Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an African elephant or an Indian elephant?'

'How can you tell the difference?' asked the bank manager.

'Well,' said the sergeant, 'The African elephant has great big ears whereas the Indian elephant has little ears. So which kind of elephant was used in the robbery?'

'How should I know? I couldn't see his ears,' said the bank manager. 'He had a stocking over his head.'

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Jany was reading a story from a book to her daughter. The daughter interrupted: “Mom, why does every story start with ‘Once upon a time’? Isn’t there any other line?”

Mom: “Sure there is. There's another line which begins like ‘Dear, there is a meeting in the office and I will be late.....’”

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Hilarious Book Titles

1) Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself (A book for woodworkers)

2) Knitting with Dog Hair

3) Wood Carving with a Chain Saw

4) Drying Flowers With A Microwave

5) Nuclear War: What's In It For You?

6) How Green were the Nazis?

7) Old Tractors and the Men Who Love Them

8) How to Avoid Huge Ships

9) Bomb Proof Your House

10)Waterproofing Your Child

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Sara was driving home from work when she noticed a Policeman following her. "Pull over!" the cop announced. Sara pulled over and rolled down the window as the officer approached her. "You were exceeding the speed limit, Ma'am," the police officer said. "You are also not wearing your seat belt. I'm going to have to write you a ticket." He then wrote her $25.00 ticket. Back home, Sara was wondering how she was going to explain this to her husband who would no doubt notice the fee in their checkbook. Suddenly she had a bright idea. Opening the checkbook register, she made the following entry: One Pullover, $25.00.

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Rita noticed that her friend, Julie, who was standing at a distance, was having a conversation with another friend. Judging by their gestures, Rita suspected that the conversation involved a secret. When the other woman left, Rita walked up to Julie ans asked "What did she tell you?" "Now you know I never repeat gossip," said Julie. "All right," Rita sighed. Immediately, Julie whispered, "So listen carefully the first time!"

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Bob had just finished his course in journalism and joined a newspaper agency. His boss sent him out on field to get some exciting news. At one place, he saw a mob gathered in a tight circle. He learnt that there was a fatal accident. Bob tried to get inside the circle but could not. He had a bright idea and shouted: “Move over, move over, I am related to the victim.” Immediately, the crowd made space for him. Pleased with his own quick wit, Bob proceeded and reached the spot and guess what? He saw a donkey lying dead.

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A physical instructor was giving practical demonstrations of various physical positions. He stood on his head and blood ran to his head making his face turn red. Later he asked: “When I turned upside down, blood ran to my face. Now tell me, why the same thing does not happen when I am on my feet?” A back bencher replied: “May be because your feet are not empty?”

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Good morning everyboomie.


Welcome to the weekend.


I'm ready to hit the hay, so I can get up early and drive out to the sod farm with Baby.


It's only supposed to get up to 83 degrees tomorrow.


Should be a good day.


I hope you all have a super Saturday.


joe

Joe, enjoy your day with Baby! Hope it's a successful one!

I'm going to be taking James to a Wild West Town in the country that I used to take my kids to when they were little. Good old fashioned fun, nothing high tech and flashy, just a fun place to stroll and pan for fools gold.

Have a happy day all!

Ana

Have a great day with Baby, Joe!

Have fun with James today, Ana!

I fell asleep with the light on and just woke up. It's been an exhausting week. Think I'll find a game to play later, but I'm going back to sleep now.

Have a great Saturday, everyone.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and all. Joe good luck hunting with Baby. Ana sounds like a fun day with James. Venus you're going back to sleep and I'm already up for the day! Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing everyone a happy Day!

Good morning Joe, Ana, Venus and Gerry. Have a great day.

Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Saturday. Ana, we had a place like that in Ocala, but they closed it. What a shame, it was so much fun for the boys when they were little. We always took them to the natural attractions too. Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke, at 8-8 Panda tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC.

Connie, that's too bad! Everyone wants the high tech, glitz and glamour! Little kids have a far better time at a slower paced, less sensory overload place. YOu don't see kids having tantrums and melt downs as often in the simpler places. THey get overwhelmed easily when there is too much going on.

Gail, hope all is well.

venus, enjoy your day off!

Gerry, how's things?

SpaceQ, doggie park today?

Ana

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, glad weather won't be too hot for you today.

Ana, sounds like a fun day with James today. I'm doing really good.

Venus, have fun gaming.

Space, have a great day!

Gerry, coffee....yes!

Connie, enjoy the Panda tonight.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend.

That is wonderful to hear, Gail!

I got up at 6am to have my coffee in peace before James wakes up, and he's still sleeping.

Super Saturday ya'll

Not sure what's up today. Should be fairly busy as son needs to get camping stuff ready and hubby needs to get ready for a business trip. It was raining when I got up.

Joe, have fun at the sod farm.

Ana, hope you find the motherlode. I woke up at 6, looked at the clock, shook my head, stuck a pillow over it, and went back to sleep

Venus, hope you slept well when you went back to sleep.

Gerry, have fun on your early day.

Space

Enjoy your evening, Connie.

Gail, any plans?

That is great news gail.

Heading to the park now Ana.

Hey everyone

Happy Saturday-Weekend one and all...wishing you a peaceful day with Baby Joe...good hunting!

Have fun at the park SQF!

The Old West Town sounds fun Ana!

So happy to hear you're doing good Gail!

Have a great day Venus Connie and Gerry

L4L

See you all later

soot. We had a blast.

I've been so lazy! Days of lovely warm weather (not the heat wave we are having inland). Overcast mornings, glorious afternoons. Summer is here.

Only fun is last night a HUGE truck pulled up out front, 2 guys got out, one with a chainsaw (no not spree killers) and walked off towards our main street. I figured maybe they were going for dinner and would be back in an hour or so. Nope. The truck is still there. It's a huge, lift bed, dump truck that has Tree Trimmer signs on the side. Looked it up, reputable company, good reviews, family owned for eons.

So it's still sitting there, blocking my view of the neighborhood, hampering my view driving in and out of the driveway. It's half full of limbs and leaves and has a very old wooden ladder on top. Maybe it broke down, but nobody has come back to get it. Very strange. Not stolen because they seemed to have keys and be concerned about parking it correctly at the curb.

I'm hoping by tonight someone comes to at least let ME know that it's disabled or at the very least, put a note on it. I'd do that if I had to leave a vehicle smack dab in front of someone's house that I didn't know. Maybe I'm just too nice. Drives me nuts wondering who, what, why, when. ugh.

Baking Tater Tots for dinner. Found out that the 'store brand' is far superior to Ore-Ida name brand. Sometimes the no name stuff is awesome. When I taught Home Ec in High School, we would bring in loads of products to compare. More likely than not, the store brand was preferred over the name brand. Blind taste tests so nobody would know which was which. Oh and just to let you know, we also experimented with food coloring that we tinted various foods (very unnatural) and we all agreed that azure blue bread tastes horrible! It's all in perception, but yuk, I couldn't even eat it.

Anyone want a psycho two year old? Dear God, I'm exhausted with him!

Bed time...sweet dreams all

THe sounds of silence....precious. What a looooong day!

Nighty night all...in the corner to work now.

Ana

Good night, everyone.