GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.

GB Reviews

Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games

GB Annual Game Lists

GB Interviews

BAAGS

GB @ acebook

About Us

Walkthroughs

free games galore

Game Publishers & Developers

World of Adventure

Patches

GB @ witter

GameBoomers Store

Print Thread
TGIF #1115815
06/29/17 09:07 PM
06/29/17 09:07 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Charles Caleb Colton

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.

``````````````

A man walked into a store.

The store owner asked him, "What do you want, Sir?'

The man replied, "I need optimism, toughness, the will to fight the evils of the world, the power to confront injustices."

The store owner replied, "Here you are sir, a bottle of premium whisky, and some chips to go with it."

``````````````

Funny Questions: The best of those stupid, dumb, funny, witty and silly questions. Some of them really make you think, some make your laugh, and some are just plain stupid…


How can there be self-help “groups”?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced tenty one?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered mothers from Asian countries use? Toothpicks?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

How did a fool and his money get together?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Can you get cavities in your dentures from using too much artificial sweetner?

````````````````

Some of the funniest deliberately bad opening paragraphs of would be novels.The Bulwer-Lytton literary parody contest is a yearly contest that seeks to find the worst deliberately terrible opening paragraphs to novels. It was named after Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), who originated the phrases “the pen is mightier than the sword,” and “pursuit of the almighty dollar.” He also opened a novel in 1830 with those now famous words that Snoopy plagiarized for years, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

Here are some of the best worst bad novel beginning paragraph entries in the 2006 contest.


David loved Marisela’s voice, which was like fresh honeydew melon wrapped in fine prosciutto, and pierced with a round, teal gourmet toothpick, set on a Lenox Fruits of Life serving plate upon a mahogany table in a brilliantly sunlit (albeit in need of redecorating) dining room, but he wasn’t very fond of anything she said.

Stephen V. Masse
Medford, MA

The sun, which much resembled the yolk of a sunny-side up egg, set over the slight hill like a cheerio falling off the back of a spoon when a spoon is upside-down on a table and a cheerio is set on top of it.

Katrina Medoff
Wilmington, DE

When he heard the woman upstairs scream, the Maytag man’s heart thumped in his chest like an off-balance washer full of heavy bath towels.

Linda Shakespeare
Elk Grove, CA

Gray hung over the morning like a gauze bandage, the kind you wrap loosely over an oozing wound to keep it covered but still let air in, but the eastern sky reddened slowly, like the first signs of blood poisoning moving up an arm.

Russ Winter
Janesville, MN

Despite the vast differences it their ages, ethnicity, and religious upbringing, the sexual chemistry between Roberto and Heather was the most amazing he had ever experienced; and for the entirety of the Labor Day weekend they had sex like monkeys on espresso, not those monkeys in the zoo that fling their feces at you, but more like the monkeys in the wild that have those giant red butts, and access to an espresso machine.

Dennis Barry
Dothan, AL

Our story begins with Raul, gently stroking Priscilla’s raven hair, gazing into her coal-dark eyes, eyes that reminded him of the blackness of the inside of a size 11 1/2 D shoebox, which in turn reminded him he needed to get his Bass Weejuns re-soled before that job interview next week with the owner of the janitorial service.

Gordon Bassham
Andover, KS

Sylvia leaned seductively back in her chair and downed the shot of cheap gin that Brad had poured for her, and speculated once again that, even if it did taste like something you’d rub on a horse, it had the pleasant side effect of softening Brad’s facial symmetry which had always reminded her of the collapsed, pocked surface of a cheese quiche that’s been cooked at too high a temperature.

Janna Harris
Littlerock, CA

He loved her like no other, their romance developing quickly, like the rapid growth of farm swine which grow from 2 to 4 pounds daily until they’re fully grown and put to market for slaughter, or like the rapidly growing cells that produce moose antlers until they fall off in early spring, and suddenly Bill sensed the imminent doom of his romance lying in wait.

Jeremy Perreaux
Sarnia, Ontario

Like a baleen whale inhaling krill–a collection of small marine crustaceans of the order Euphausiacea–or an anteater sucking up Formicidae– characteristically having wings only in the males and fertile females and living in colonies that have a complex social organization–her lips sought out mine in a passionate kiss.

Michael J. Sheehan
Cedar, MI

“Send a message back to Command Central on Earth and ask for their advice, which we will be able receive immediately even at this great distance, thanks to the ingenious manipulation of coherent radiation through a Bose-Einstein condensate and the bizarre influence of the Aspect effect, which enables us to impart identical properties to remotely separated photons,” Captain Buzz told the feathered Vjorkog at the comms desk, “and tell them our life-pod is going to explode in eight seconds.”

Christopher Backeberg
KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa

Cheralynn posed before the unblinking mirror, panting weakly, as her private surgeon hovered around her, tightening the straps on her custom-made girdle, and it dawned on her for the first time in her pampered, overindulged 49 years, that it was only a matter of time before she would succumb to Furniture Disease, and her chest would fall into her drawers.

Tracey MacDonald
Antigonish Nova Scotia

Butch glared balefully across the saloon at Tex, who had been stone dead since the scorpion he had unwittingly sat on had bitten him on the butt some half an hour or so ago, little suspecting that this was going to be his toughest staring contest since the one against old Glass-eyed Juan, during the great sand-storm of ’42, at the height of the Arizona conjunctivitis epidemic.

Geoff Blackwell
Bundaberg QLD Australia

`````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


How'd you like those paragraphs? smile


I have to admit most of them made me go "What?" and then go back and read them again. crazy


Some of them I still didn't know what the heck they were talking about.


I'm trying to get this done at a descent time. I still haven't adjusted to Summer, and I'm thinking that when it gets dark, it's only 7:00 or 8:00. Then I look at the clock and "UH OH!" shocked


At least last night I slept almost through the whole night. That felt good. hamster


I started to say I almost slept like a baby, but it was more of almost sleeping like a drunk. sleep


Have a great Friday everyone. woot


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115827
06/29/17 10:14 PM
06/29/17 10:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Hope you get another good nights sleep, Joe! sleep I had about 4 hours last night, not feeling like tonight will be any better. Looking forward to getting out of the corner. 5 more days to go.

Have a great day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115844
06/30/17 04:45 AM
06/30/17 04:45 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, Ana and all. Joe sound sleep is good! Ana hope the stress is less today! Coffee and tea are ready.
Have a Happy Day Boomers! summer


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115854
06/30/17 07:23 AM
06/30/17 07:23 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful TGIF. No karaoke tonight, so I'm having a friend over for dinner and TV tonight. Shrimp Scampi, Salad, and Garlic Knots, are on the menu. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115876
06/30/17 10:24 AM
06/30/17 10:24 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers puppy

Joe, glad you got a better night's sleep. Hope it continues.

Ana, wishing you an easy day and a good night's sleep.

Gerry, coffee oh yes!

Connie, enjoy your dinner tonight with your friend.

Good and happy day wishes to all! Doc visit went good yesterday. angel


Gail
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115886
06/30/17 11:42 AM
06/30/17 11:42 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Ouch! I overdid it yesterday when I finally got the energy to use the electric hedge clippers and attacked the huge overgrowth of the Oleander 'hedge' that divides my driveway, from my neighbor's driveway. It needed to be done, the yard kid (who stole all that money and isn't welcome anymore used to do it), the morning was finally cool enough (until I started the job) and I soon found that had I done this chore a month ago, I wouldn't be gulping Advil today. The hedge, when trimmed to fence height, allows both she and I to see each other's driveways and is a quick way to see if the other is home (car there, we are home) so we don't leave phone messages endlessly.

Unfortunately, this morning, everything in my body hurts. Pulled a lower back/hip muscle, all arm joints and fingers are screaming (more than the usual arthritis stuff). BUT now we both can see each other and that's a load of security for us. Hope we don't get any more rain and this was the LAST time I have to trim for the entire year!

Lots of men wandered by, watching me do the awful chore, but did any of them volunteer to help? Nope. What ever happened to those guys who couldn't wait to help a damsel in distress? Maybe it was the ratty tied up hair, the dirty, old, T-shirt, the worn out blue jeans, or perhaps the sweat running down my face? haha


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115890
06/30/17 12:34 PM
06/30/17 12:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

I got up early (for me) to walk the dogs, but alas, it was raining. The rain wasn't hard, so thought I'd go ahead and walk them. Then the bottom opened lol

Son and boys hit the road a bit ago for a camping trip in South Carolina. It's supposed to rain all day. I hope it will stop long enough for them to get their camp set up.

Hubby is in the air on the way home, and I'm waiting on the plumber to call me back.

Joe, I can't believe it's almost July. Whoosh!

Ana, 4 hours eek Hope tonight is better.

Gerry, wavegirl

Connie, your dinner sounds scrumptious. Enjoy!

Gail, glad the visit went well. You have plans for the 4th?

Sorta, I'm sorry you are hurting. I think the times, they have changed. My son tells me all the time if women are "equal," then why should men do all that stuff that guys used to do. Of course, he does it for me cos I'm "mom," but he says that sometimes when he has offered to help, he'll be snapped at for "thinking a women needs a man's help" so now he just doesn't bother unless it is very obvious that help is needed (like the wreck where everyone just drove around the poor lady in the car until he stopped to help)


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115927
06/30/17 06:17 PM
06/30/17 06:17 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Yep L4L, I miss the days before 'women's lib'. Sure we are capable, but sometimes I just wanna have some hunky guy help out. evil


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115937
06/30/17 08:36 PM
06/30/17 08:36 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
I get it!

I'm off for a bath and then bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: looney4labs] #1115954
06/30/17 10:43 PM
06/30/17 10:43 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #1115961
06/30/17 11:58 PM
06/30/17 11:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night all...


Don't feed the Trolls
Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

Moderated by  BrownEyedTigre 

Who's Online Now
1 registered members (flotsam), 259 guests, and 0 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Staff, Mod
Newest Members
PierreLombardo, Dux, WillPowerGoat, Ebalon, J7769mon
9388 Registered Users
Powered by UBB.threads™