Jonas Salk
I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams.
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Scene: Horseback-riding stable.
Mom: Those horses are awfully big for my daughter.
Me: Our horses are very sweet …
Mom: Don’t you have something smaller? What about that one over there? It’s the perfect size for her!
Me: Um … that’s a goat.
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Gauging from these exam
excerpts, my college dance students had better stick with pliés.
“The costumes were vindictive
of the style of dance.”
“I commend Bill T. Jones for
his acts of true kindness and
selfishness.”
“Dancers must have long limps.”
“At first, I had a hard time
understanding and interrupting
his movement.”
“Savion Glover’s purpose is to cross all racial and ethical barriers with his dance.”
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During college, I worked on
a conveyor belt. One day, I was
on a blind date, and she asked me about my job.
“I work at the end of a belt,” I said.
With an ebullient smile, she asked, “Are you the buckle?”
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My gunnery sergeant and
I were inspecting a Marine training exercise when we spotted a second lieutenant ambling about. “Where is your foxhole, Lieutenant?” I asked.
He snapped off a salute and
responded, “I don’t know, sir!”
Turning to the sergeant, he asked, “Gunnery, where is my foxhole?”
“You’re standing in it, sir,” said
the sergeant. “All you have to do is remove the dirt.”
```````````
I phoned a local restaurant to
ask if it was on the north or south side of Main Street. The person on the other end answered, “That
depends on which direction you’re coming from.”
````````````
Spotted in the classifieds: “For sale: cemetery plot, $200, so
I don’t have to spend all eternity
beside my ex!”
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For serving as flower girl for her aunt, three-year-old Sydney received
a doll and bridal-themed gifts. Sydney was so thrilled, she ran to her aunt and announced, “I want this for all your weddings!”
```````````
Delta Airlines is infusing its cabins with a lavender-and-chamomile scent called Calm. The Week asked its readers to come up with a better name to match “the ambience of the packed economy cabin.”
“Eau the Humanity” —Serena Meyer
“Giorgio’s Arm-on-me” —Wade Etheredge
“Chanel No. 5 Inches of Legroom” —Austin King
“Claustrophobique” —Cynthia Pocali
“Mist Connection” —Cary Berkowitz
“The 99 Per-scent” —Julia Flagg
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Wandering inside a pet store,
I stopped in front of a birdcage to
admire a parakeet. We watched each other for a few minutes before it asked, “Can’t you talk?”
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My son and I were checking out
a house he was interested in buying. When the owner came to the door, she looked at me and said, “Larry?
I know you. We went to school
together. I’m Elaine. Don’t you
recognize me?”
I drew a complete blank.
She took out our old yearbook and showed me her graduation picture—still nothing. “Let’s look at your
picture,” she said.
She flipped the pages until she came to me. Under my photo I
had written, “Elaine, I will never
forget you.”
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“Halt!” shouted our drill
instructor. He had noticed that, for the umpteenth time, a recruit kept going to his right on a left command. Our instructor approached the
directionally challenged Marine
and stomped on his left foot. “Now,” he said, “when I say ‘left,’ it’s the
one that hurts.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
Another Friday is here and I'm really ready for it.
Of course, I'm ready for every day......pretty much.
This morning I got up and went out to mow the lawn. I mowed my lawn inside the fenced area with my push mower. It took a while, but it looked better. It didn't leave big piles of grass everywhere.
After going in and drinking a couple of bottles of water, and letting my shirt dryout, I went back out and mowed outside the fence, and the neiobor's yard on my rider.
The grass was all wet. The bar ditch had standing water in it.
At least last night's storms stopped just South of us. I mean I could see them and hear them, but they didn't come over my house.
Tomorrow I'm going in and talk to my manager. They've been very understanding, but I still don't know what to tell them. Baby is seeming holding her own for the moment. I don't want to leave her alone though.
Have a great day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
And prefer my yard in it's natural state.
TGIF 
L4L 