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Saturdiner #1116894
07/07/17 10:51 PM
07/07/17 10:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
William Butler Yeats

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

``````````````

My son was born while I was serving abroad, so he was three 
before we met. When I got home, I decided it was time for a little father-son bonding time. I bought him a 
toy razor and invited him to “shave” with me. In the bathroom, I took 
up my razor and started shaving. 
I looked around to see how my son was doing. His foot was up on the side of the bathtub, and he was 
running the razor up and down 
his leg. So much for male bonding.

````````````

One of the most popular questions asked at our family restaurant is “What’s good tonight?”

Now, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good. So 
I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband.

He calmly replied, “Anything over $17.95.”

````````````

I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?”

My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”

```````````

What are the wildest things national park guides contend with? Questions from tourists, like these:

• How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

• Would the lightning be faster if 
it didn’t zigzag?

• What do you do with the snow when it melts?

``````````````

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. 
The husband called out to his wife 
in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but 
it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”

````````````

My daughter Amy was holding down two jobs: The first was as a manicurist at a salon; the other was raking leaves for a housing development. One day, she came back from lunch at the raking job to find a note. Her boss, who didn’t know about 
her other job, had taken down this phone message: “Amy, you have a man to cure on Thursday at three.”

````````````

My granddaughter was 
graduating from college, so I asked about any plans she had for the 
future. She hadn’t any, but she 
did know this much: “I certainly don’t want to sit in one of those 
cubicles and think all day.”

`````````````````

We were making leaflets for a 
local church, and the client wanted 
a logo designed with Earth being shielded by the hand of God. I sent the client a proof. Shortly thereafter, 
I got a call.

Client: The hand looks too human. Please use a hand that looks more like God’s.

`````````````

It was sheer brilliance. The ship’s operations officer entered 
the messdeck, his eyes bleary and at half-mast. He grabbed a bagel and took a seat. Unfortunately, the sun was shining through a porthole right onto his face. Rather than move, he called the bridge: “Hey,” he said, “can you shift the ship 15 degrees? Thanks.”

``````````


Letters to Soldiers from Children

Students are great about 
sending our troops letters, and the troops love ’em. You can see why:


“Dear Soldier, If you’re having 
a rough day, remember the most 
important thing in life is to be 
yourself. Unless you can be Batman.”

“Dear Veterans, You rock more than AC/DC or Metallica or Red 
Hot Chili Peppers.”

“I am so happy you are risking your life for the USA! My grandpa Bob was in the Navy. Now he likes peanuts.”

```````````

As he got his diaper changed, Daniel looked down and said, 
“I have a wee-wee. Daddy has 
a wee-wee.”

“That’s right,” said his mother. “That’s because you’re both boys. Do you know what 
mommies have?

Daniel did: “Earrings.”

``````````````

After catching her five-year-old son Lucas trying to pull a fast one, his mother demanded, “Do you think I have idiot written on my forehead?”
Lucas answered, “I don’t know. I can’t read.”

``````````

During a Pilates class, our thin teacher apologized to one of her larger students for blocking her view of herself in the mirror.

“Don’t worry,” the woman said. “I can see myself on either side of you.”

`````````````

During a visit with my grandmother, my husband noticed a birthday card from a local funeral parlor.

“That was nice of them,” he said.

She was unimpressed. “They only want me for my body,” she grumbled.

````````````

After an impromptu song, our pastor asked the church pianist, “What key did I sing that in?”

The pianist replied, “Most of them.”

`````````````

My 11-year-old grandson spent 
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, “Someday, you’re going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom’s basement playing video games all day!”

His reply: “I can only dream.”

`````````````````

As I waited for my luggage 
at the airport, a man lifted my 
suitcase off the baggage carousel.

“Excuse me,” I shouted. “That’s 
my suitcase.”

The man shot back defensively, “Well, somebody took mine!”

````````````

My sister didn’t do as well on her driver’s-ed test as she’d hoped. 
It might have had something to 
do with how she completed this 
sentence: “When the ______ is dead, the car won’t start.”

She wrote: “Driver.”

````````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Welcome to the weekend gang! bravo


We're already a week into July. Another month and we'll be into training camp. hamster


I just had a new Cowboy cap delivered today. woot


I went into Lowe's today and talked to them. My manager text me this afternoon, and said don't worry about anything for the next week.


Hoping it's longer.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116900
07/08/17 12:13 AM
07/08/17 12:13 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
THat's great Joe, Glad you got some time off.

Race day today again. THis time a 4.5 mile obstacle course race called the BadAss Dash. It will be my third one.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116905
07/08/17 02:34 AM
07/08/17 02:34 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Great news, Joe. Glad they were understanding.

Hope the race goes well, Ana. luck

I fell asleep with the light on, and Jupiter just woke me up at 2:30 in the morning, trying to get some food out of me. I think he's a little early. lol

My voice lesson went very well this time. thumbsup And now, I have a three day weekend coming up. happydance It wasn't that way originally, but I saw that I could rearrange my schedule for my second job and still fit everything in, so I decided to give myself an extra day off. thumbsup Which will be nice, as the week after next is going to be especially hectic.

Okay, I'm off to get some more sleep. grin Have a terrific Saturday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116917
07/08/17 04:40 AM
07/08/17 04:40 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe nice you can spend more time with Baby. Ana good luck with the race! Venus have fun with your kitties on your 3 days off! Coffee and tea are ready.
Wishing you all a great Saturday! summer


Gerry
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116927
07/08/17 08:06 AM
07/08/17 08:06 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers hamster

Joe, glad you got the time off.

Venus, enjoy the day!

Ana, good luck in the race, thumbsup

Gerry, coffee please and thank you!

Wishing everyone a great day! wavegirl


Gail
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116929
07/08/17 08:33 AM
07/08/17 08:33 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Saturday. Had fun last night at the VFW with friends. Tonight is Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke at 8-8 Panda. My boys said I go out more than they do. Danish, Eggs, Grits, BB Pancakes, Hash Browns, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Saturdiner [Re: connie] #1116949
07/08/17 10:51 AM
07/08/17 10:51 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning everyone. It is looking like a beautiful day here today. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116961
07/08/17 11:18 AM
07/08/17 11:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Hubby is off getting the car serviced. Boys and son playing video games. I'm going to feed monkeys as soon as I post. I know there will be some vacuuming and board games with the boys in the day. Not sure what else.

Joe, glad you are able to be there for Baby.

Ana, luck

Venus, a 3 day weekend is a bonus. Did you schedule another voice lesson?

Gerry, coffee please.

Gail, have a good one.

Connie, I think it is very cool that you are so busy.

Space, are you getting out to the park today?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116966
07/08/17 11:42 AM
07/08/17 11:42 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Morning all. Or is it really morning? I stayed up WAY too late watching Big Brother After Dark. Was an accident. Fell asleep at 11 with the bedroom TV on news. Woke up at 2 am to Big Brother which was loud and raunchy. Not for KIDS. Yikes! I'm wondering what they are putting in the food! Like a bunch of rabbits. Geez.

OH Soot, that Squirrel Spa sounds delish. My Raccoon Resort is overbooked. I first saw Mom (or dad) with 3 babies. They went off and an adult returned with only 2 babies. Then that one left and came back with FIVE babies! I'm not sure if that was 3 different groups, or one adult with misc. kittens in tow. I won't know unless I see them again tonight. They didn't use the 'bath' facilities though. All clean water dishes this morning. Nice.

The cats are panicking. The possums are scarce. AND there is a dead 'something' under the deck (again). Dunno what but I'm guessing a huge possum I saw several days ago that looked very old and feeble. Found a poor dead mouse sized baby (took it from a cat) and saw another clinging to the old possum. Hoped for the best but I never know what dies under the deck or house. Thank goodness it's not under the house (this time so far). Smells awful either way, but under the deck is pretty much contained to the yard and doesn't drive me out of the house. Wheeeee.

Yard sale across the street again. They have tons of San Diego Chargers clothing and signs and all sorts of stuff. Now that we lost our team, people are selling or donating all the Chargers stuff, except of course, for the pile of things that they took to the Stadium the day the leaving was announced and made a bonfire of it. Was fun to watch. Sad but fun. Thrift stores are overwhelmed with Chargers things. Nobody wants them. No football team here in sight and who knows what will happen with the stadium. They will probably tear it down and build condos. duh


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116986
07/08/17 04:47 PM
07/08/17 04:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Good afternoon everyone!

Whew the day has gone zipping by so fast shocked

Up at the crack of dawn to walk the buddy boys before it gets too hot and then off to get car maintenance taken care of before I'm back on the road again week after next and then a quick dive in the garage to clear space to store camping gear and then off to get some local honey and then ... chirp ... chirrrp ... chirrrrrrp That's right I think I've got my chores and projects done ... I think think

Time will tell...

I'm hoping too Joe ... happy to hear you have a great boss! Enjoy!! angel

Oh my goodness Ana ... have fun at the BA Dash

Woo Hoo Hoo Venus ... enjoy the extra day off!

Drive safe Connie and have a good time at 8-8 Panda

Can you get someone to come and get the critter from under your porch SortaB? Hope so... Are your raccoons ever mischievous?

Wishing you a great day too Gerry, Gail, SQF and everyone who stops by for a treat

L4L hearts

Have a great afternoon everyone...see you later

wave2



Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1116991
07/08/17 05:35 PM
07/08/17 05:35 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
WooHoo! Aced the obstacle course today and my daughter did incredible! So proud of her! joy Another one for the books!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1116992
07/08/17 05:40 PM
07/08/17 05:40 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Awesome Ana. thumbsup

I just got back from the park looney. puppy


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1117002
07/08/17 06:45 PM
07/08/17 06:45 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Ah Soot, wish I could get the critters from under my deck. It's low to the ground, pretty much inaccessible to humans. The critters like to crawl under there and die in the dark, cool, spaces. Sad, but at least the have some 'safety' at the end. Then happily, the possums eat dead meat so they help dispose of the carcass, and when I see a mega trail of ants coming and going, I know it's something they are digesting piece by piece. Nature has it's cleanup crews. Smell is getting a bit worse with the hot weather, but in a few weeks, if all goes well, it will all be over. Someday when I'm gone, someone will tear out the deck and find a plethora of bones and probably some of my yard decorations and cat blankies that the possums dragged under. It will be like a treasure hunt.

Also under my old 1944 house on it's raised foundation, there have been mega animals gone in to die. Some were mine, some were just wanderers. I can't get under there anymore (too old and painful) but occasionally I manage to shove my camera under the opening and get a look at things. Gruesome, but then life goes on. Yuk!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
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