Michelle Amand
Love is not a matter of counting the years . . . But making the years count.
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We’ve been over this before:
Stupid doesn’t play well on job interviews. Hiring managers wish these
job seekers had gotten the memo.
• Applicant acted out a Star Trek role.
• Applicant asked for a hug.
• Applicant popped out his teeth when discussing dental benefits.
• Applicant crashed her car into
the building.
From CareerBuilder’s 2014 Interview Blunders Survey
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These are actual comments made by Georgia State Troopers that were taken off their car videos:1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that will be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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The topic of my student’s essay was the importance of trust, camaraderie, and toughness among football
players. “After all,” he wrote, “you don’t want a bunch of pre-Madonnas out there on the field.”
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It’s important that soldiers
learn from their mistakes; otherwise, they’re bound to repeat them at
inopportune moments. Here soldiers share what they’ve gleaned from
past gaffes:
• “I was cold” is not a sufficient
reason for being caught in the female barracks.
• Do not communicate with officers using only Madonna lyrics.
• Do not conduct live fire exercises at the general’s (unattended) jeep, even if it’s parked in an area clearly marked Live Fire Zone.
• Do not attempt to shave with fire.
• Do not use 27 packs of sticky notes to label everything in the barracks
so the general won’t have any questions during the inspection.
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On Facebook, the English
language has few friends.
Three examples:
Post: I can’t stand people
that don’t know the difference between your and you’re. There so dumb.
Response: Their, their, calm down.
Post: Is it me or does nobody have manors these days?
Response: I just have a normal house.
Post: I do not have patients for stupid today.
Response: Patience.
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Events had left my son-in-
law’s sister feeling sad, and she started tearing up. Luckily, our
two-year-old grandson was nearby
to dispense words of wisdom.
“Don’t cry,” he said. “Sometimes
batteries die and toys break.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
How is everyone doing?
I took Baby to the vet. The vet said it's pretty much up to Baby and me. I pretty much lost it and said I'm not ready, so I got more pain pills for her, and the gave me food I can feed her with a syring, if she is not wanting to eat.
Her appetite hasen't been very good for the last two days, but she ate quite a bit today, and she's moving around ok.
I don't think she'll last much longer though.
I won't let her suffer.
We're just a day away from the weekend, and I'm sure Lowe's will be wondering if I'm available.
Not yet.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good Morning Joe, Ana and everyone. Joe it is the worst possible decision you have to make, but for Baby it is the right one. I can relate because I've had to make that decision too. Ana have a nice day. Coffee and tea are ready.
