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Happy Thump Day #1118349
07/19/17 09:57 PM
07/19/17 09:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Oscar Wilde

[E]very saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

`````````

Supervisor: This project isn’t something we can finish off quickly. It’s like an onion. It has layers that we have to peel away, one by one.

Coworker: And it will make us cry a lot.

``````````````

It’s Winter break time, and a lot of people will be traveling. Which means it’s also a great time to be the person who gets to approve visa requests, like these handed in by travelers to England.

• “I want to be closer to Elton John. He doesn’t come to Togo. Do you see him much in Britain?”

• “Do you know if it’s easier to find a wife in England? I’m struggling here [in Peru].”

• “Is everybody friends with the queen?”

```````````

My cousin once called in sick to work because of a “death in the family.”

I was her boss.

````````````

For much of her bartending shift, my wife had to contend with 
a rowdy customer. At the end of the night, he demanded, “Where’s the bathroom!?”

“Go down the hallway, and you’ll see a door marked gentlemen,” she said. “But don’t let that deter you.”

````````````

From a church bulletin: “The new parking area looks great. Thanks to the men who turned out Saturday to help with the groveling.”

````````````

Our neighbor brought over a delicious homemade meal, eliciting this comment from my daughter: “No offense, Mom, but Kristi’s dinner makes you look like a really bad mother.”

My older daughter quickly jumped to my defense.

“Parker, that’s absolutely not true,” she said. “Kristi just makes Mom look like a really bad cook.”

````````````

Have a date for Valentine’s Day? Hope it doesn’t end up like these 
@FirstDateHell dates.

• He couldn’t remember my name, so he asked if I would mind if he just called me Amy instead.

• In a restaurant, she said she did a great impression of a fax 
machine. Then she beeped loudly while unraveling a napkin from 
her mouth.

• He said, “From your photo, I thought you were too good for me. I’m glad to see you’ve got flaws.” Then he listed them.

````````````

It’s easy to get disoriented when visiting New York City. One 
befuddled tourist asked his hotel concierge, “The last time we were 
in NYC, we got out of a subway, and we saw some water and some boats. Do you know where that is?”

`````````````

I was visiting my mother one day, when she passed the candy dish full of chocolates and took one for herself.

“I thought your doctor told you to stop eating candy,” I said.

“Oh, I don’t have to listen to him anymore,” she replied.

“Why not?”

“He died.”

`````````

My daughter said something to me that I didn’t think was very polite. I told her she needed to say it again in a nicer way—so she repeated it with a British accent.

```````````

I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my nine-year-old asked, “How did you text on it?”

My 15-year-old daughter roared with laughter, until a thought occurred to her: “Wait, where did you store 
your contacts?”

``````````

My grandmother called to tell me she’d gotten an e-mail account. “Great,” I said. “Send me a message so I’ll have your e-mail address.” I waited and waited, but she never sent it. Several days later, an envelope arrived—Grandma had written her info on a piece of paper and mailed it to me.

``````````

Whoever said not to cry over spilled milk has obviously never had to pump before.

```````````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


My granddad used to pump milk right from the cow to our mouths. razz


It was very warm.....yuk! taz


I like my milk colder than a witche's...you know what. Especially if you're a witch. duh


Not that I think anyone here is. oops


When I got up this morning I had a case of focus pocus. eek


I thought my eyes were playing tricks om me. cool


Then I realized I went to sleep with my sun glasses on. slapforehead


How long now till we fall back?? headscratch


Have a happy day everyone.


joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 07/19/17 10:01 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118351
07/19/17 10:47 PM
07/19/17 10:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
lol I fall back into bed every night Joe ... wishing you a blessed day tomorrow.


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118355
07/19/17 11:18 PM
07/19/17 11:18 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, your future's so bright, you gotta wear shades! lol

soot, it seems I need to run a marathon in order to just go to sleep. My body fights it every dang night!

Major storm here right now. Mother natures fire works!

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118358
07/19/17 11:43 PM
07/19/17 11:43 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, I like the one about the daughter repeating the sentence in a "nicer" way by using a British accent. lol Hope you have a great day with your sunglasses on. grin

Soot, I'm about to fall back myself tonight. lol

Ana, as a night person, I feel your pain. grin Hope the storm passes quickly!

It's Wednesday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have an exceptionally short work day tomorrow, and then I have Friday off. Then I have to work on Saturday (unnatural lol) and have a voice lesson on Sunday. This is a weird week and is messing up my understanding of the way weeks are supposed to work. lol (Yes, I know, before someone points this out, I used to have to work weekends and have weekdays off, but it's been a few years since that was a regular thing. wink)

Okay, off to sleep now. Hope everyone has a terrific Thursday. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118360
07/20/17 04:14 AM
07/20/17 04:14 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
dragon Good Morning Joe, soot, Ana, venus and all. Joe love the funnies. Soot enjoy your day. Ana I've been up since 3AM. No matter what time I go to bed I always wake up early! Venus it sounds like a busy few days ahead! Coffee and tea are ready.
Happy Day to you all! dragon


Gerry
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118364
07/20/17 06:19 AM
07/20/17 06:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. Another hot, sticky day today. I have added time to my work day today. Mike will be gone all day today so I'll be leaving a little later this morning and I'll arrive a little earlier than my usual 5 to 8 shift. It's going to be a long day today, at least I'll be able to run the A/C today. Mike won't be home so I can run it. Barbara doesn't mind the A/C running.

Well, have a great Thursday everyone.

Midgie hearts wavegirl


Just do it.
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118372
07/20/17 07:46 AM
07/20/17 07:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Thump Day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118375
07/20/17 08:23 AM
07/20/17 08:23 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Wishing everyone a great day! summer


Gail
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118397
07/20/17 10:08 AM
07/20/17 10:08 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
I kind of know what you mean Ana...WOM works hard at trying to sleep too...wish I could invent something that would help you ladies think

Enjoy the short work day Venus...those are 'always' fun laugh

Wishing you a great day to Gail

I hope your work day passes quickly Midge

Keeping you and Baby in my prayers Joe angel

woot I'll have a cup of grits and coffee to go Connie and Gerry...I'm hitting the road today as soon as I sign off...I've completed my mission here and getting ready to meet and greet my new grandson after short trip North.

Have a wonderful day everyone

wave2


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118424
07/20/17 02:00 PM
07/20/17 02:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

Waiting on the cable guy. Once he leaves I'm gonna take a nap. It's too hot to be alive right now wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: looney4labs] #1118432
07/20/17 04:07 PM
07/20/17 04:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
See if you can get free HBO looney. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118434
07/20/17 04:21 PM
07/20/17 04:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hi ya Space, Welcome home! I'm just amazed they actually came. They have a habit of not showing up! Of course, they said everything was absolutely fine rotfl Apparently there have been a lot of complaints in this area, but hey, when you are the only game in town you can do what you want.

Edit: Okay, body is saying I'm done for the day. Sweet dreams all sleep

Last edited by looney4labs; 07/20/17 09:24 PM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118468
07/20/17 10:57 PM
07/20/17 10:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Night all...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1118480
07/21/17 01:04 AM
07/21/17 01:04 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,661
Alabama
Hola Cola everyone!

Leg two of my journey is complete...and grandson is a cutie pie!!!!!!

Sleep well everyone ... See you tomorrow


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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