Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
His brow is wet with honest sweat, He earns whate’er he can, And looks the whole world in the face, For he owes not any man.
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My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.
When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.” — Mary I. Costain
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I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. “Have you ever heard of a drink called ‘Seven Young Blondes’?” I asked. He admitted he’d never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he’d be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. “Sir,” I asked the customer, “can you tell me what’s in that drink?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “It’s wine,” he said, pronouncing his words carefully, “Sauvignon blanc.” — Christie Eckels
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Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to enunciate, I told the teller, “I’m sorry about not speaking more clearly. I’ve had Novocaine.”
“You should have used the drive-through,” she said.
“Why?”
“Everyone who goes through sounds like that,” she explained.
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One Saturday night my boss and her family came to our house to play cards. As they were driving away at the end of the evening, I discovered that she had left her purse in a corner next to the dining-room hutch. I was about to call her house, intending to leave a message on the answering machine, when my son reminded me that they had a cell phone.
As I dialed the number, I marveled at the technology that would alert them before they had driven all the way home. A few seconds later the purse began to ring.
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Even though my Ecuadoran son-in-law is fluent in English, he translates some figures of speech too literally. When I commented that he and my daughter are about the same age, but she looks much younger, he agreed.
“Yeah,” he said. “Some people think I stole the crib.”
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A wealthy New Yorker, “dressed in the Abercrombie & Fitch version of What a Man Should Wear in the Wilderness,” walks up to a laconic Maine lobsterman. “I see you are using fish bait for lobsters. You think it’s good, do you?” he asks. The lobsterman shakes his head. “No, I don’t. But the lobsters do.”
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We were really confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, a colleague came upon the following garbled diagnosis: “This man has pholenfrometry.”
Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head.
“This man,” he said, translating for her, “has fallen from a tree.”
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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found an elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet-who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, I asked if his wife was meeting him.
“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”
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One crazy day in our pediatric clinic saw me hand a young patient a urine sample container and tell him to fill it up in the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned to my nurse’s station with an empty cup.
“I didn’t need this after all,” he said. “There was a toilet in there.”
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Good morning everyboomie.
Another day, another 24 hours.
We had a very overcast day Tuesday. I did end up going to the sod farm. I got up very early and took Missy to the park at 7:00, then went home and decided it was too warm and humid to go to the sod farm, so I changed into my shorts so I could go to town and get gas for my lawn mower. I got on my computer and looked at the weather, and it was saying that our high temperature for the day was going to be 81, so I then decided that today was my best window for going head hunting. I changed back into my jeans, and took off for the sod farm. I sweated buckets of perspiration.
I did find a couple of very rough points, after digging through literally 2 tonnes of dirt.
When I got back home my hands didn't want to work. That digging is not very good for them.
Hump day I plan on sticking around here, except for the lawn mower gasoline, which I still need. If it's dry enough I do some mowing.
We're having some rain right now.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Hope all is well! 
Hopefully, you'll have a chance to rest your hands today. 
I still plan on starting fairly early, though, as I like my afternoons free for practice.
