Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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Stuck in rush-hour traffic, I couldn’t help but stare when a burly biker wearing black leather jacket and chaps pulled up next to me on a shocking pink Harley Davidson. My first thoughts were, “Is that really a pink Harley? I wonder if he’s…”
Just then the traffic cleared and he pulled in front of me. On the back of his helmet were stenciled the words “Yes it is. No I’m not.”
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While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my new license plate, I heard the clerk shout out, “E I E I O.” “Here,” the woman standing next to me answered.
Curious, I asked if she was married to a farmer, or maybe taught preschool.
“Neither,” she replied. “My name is McDonald.”
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Working as a telemarketer for MCI Communications, I made a call to a Minnesota home one evening. When a boy around eight answered the phone, I identified myself, told him I was calling for MCI and asked to speak to his parents.
As he put the phone down, I heard him yell, “Dad! Dad! The FBI wants to talk to you!”
As soon as the father answered the phone in a quivering voice, I said, “Sir, this is not the FBI; this is MCI Communications.”
After a long pause, the man said, “This is the first time I am actually glad to hear from you guys.”
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Sitting in the first row of coach class during a lengthy flight, my wife and I were able to hear a flight attendant as he pushed a wine cart down the aisle in the first-class section. “Would you care for chardonnay or burgundy?” he asked the high-paying passengers.
A few minutes later the attendant opened the curtain between the two sections, offered wine to one final first-class patron, then wheeled the same cart forward to our aisle. “Excuse me,” he said, looking down at us, “would you care for a glass of wine? We have white and red.”
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When our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out to be a high school classmate of my husband’s named Love. He said next time we needed any repairs to ask for him. The next year when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love. I took the day off from work and waited for him to arrive.
After he had worked on our air conditioner, he left his work order behind. It had my name and said: “Wants Love in afternoon.”
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As a freelance secretary, I type story manuscripts. When an author pays me, I print the name of the story across the top of his check. Once when I took a check to the bank, the teller suddenly froze. Only after I had explained my procedure to a bank officer did the reason for the teller’s reaction become clear.
The story was called “Your Money or Your Life,” and that, of course, was what I had written in bold letters across the top of the check.
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In honor of Memorial Day, the teacher I worked with read the Constitution to her third-grade class.
After reading “We the people,” she paused to ask the children what they thought that meant.
One boy raised his hand and asked, “Is that like ‘We da bomb?’ ”
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There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally the customer behind me muttered, “Mr. Hare must be on vacation.”
Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: “Mr. Turtle, sales associate.”
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Driving across the country, my husband and I were admiring one beautiful old Southern town while stopped at a red light. We sat there taking in the elegant storefronts, the beautiful trees and other sights, not noticing that the light had turned green and back to red again.
It was then that a police officer walked up to the car and tapped on my husband’s window. “That’s all the colors we got here,” he drawled.
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Good morning everyboomie.
BAM!! The week is nearly at the end. I guess that may be why they call this the week end.
Like Friday, I don't have any plans for Saturday.
Friday I did some dusting, and a bunch of exercising, and that's it.
Maybe Saturday I'll go out looking for a new creek to head hunt. One that's not overgrown.
It's still too hot though. Gonna be 95 degrees today.
Darlene good to see you again. Glad you stopped in. I can remember when you were planning your daughter's wedding. Time does fly.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
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Good Morning Joe, Ana and everyone. Coffee and tea are ready. 
